Hot and amazing

So, I see you haven't updated this in awhile, put I just had to tell you how fantastic I think it is. =) For a first story, it's incrediable! I am so, so interested in seeing where this story was going and if you find the time and inspiration to update, that would be awesome! I love the character's in the story. Yes, Mike's life seems a bit dull, but I understand why you made it like that and I like how cautious and sensible Mike is - yet, he is currently seeing someone who is so different and out of Mike's element. I love the role Chester plays and the snide comments he makes are very funny. =) I like how different from one another they are, yet are kind of similar too. As always, I really like your writing style and I do hope you find inspiration to complete this because I love it. =)

Hey,dude,i'm just wondering why you would think your chapters not interesting?You have a very unique writing style which makes me start to liking you charactors,i don't think there are many stories express charactors' personality

very well in the site.As you have mentioned,MIKE is a kinda boring guy while chaz obeys the rules from his heart.It reminds me many working people as this MIKE type nowadays as they tend to rarely think about or try to analyze what was the most important thing to them in life cuz they lived their life under much social pressure.when it comes to chaz,i can easily tell he realize himself much better and can handle his emotions well which leads him to be the person he wants to be.maybe,it may causes sort of loneliness though.

They are different and can be affected to each other.maybe that's the point you want to say in it.

And,in my heart,i have been taking M/C characters the same way as you did so you get me easily.

Seriously,you should update this,the story is well writen and has a good plot which is worth or interesting reading,plus,you are a good storyteller has excellent potential and skills.

pretty awesome!!!

oh my god!!im in love with this really deeply in love*__*plz update soon cuz it's awesome.i like the character of chester and sex scenes are hot xD plz update!

Your writing is so beautiful and fascinating. Every small details draw me into this fiction world. I see romance, life meditation and a subtle, lovely humor. Can't wait to read more!

I lovelovelove this fic so far. Especially the last line. That was just plain hilarious. :] I really can't think of anything else to say except for good work. Your characterization floors me. <3

It's one of the best fics I've read.Update it soon!XD

Rob is such a (dirty) whore. He needs to take lessons from Mike & Chester and put a hat on his jimmy. ha ha.

Yeah - I just want to see what crazy things are going to be happening with Chester because I know he got to be a wierdo... Hes good for Mike, he cleans the house and gives Mike the best sex everrrrr! :)

--

Hi

I'm on the LPfiction Beta team - a group of writers recently put together to read all the stories post over the last two months to both assist the authors with any spelling/grammar/plot line difficulties and to help improve the standard of stories post on the website. I was given your story to read.

Now that I've introduced myself I'll say that this has been an absolute pleasure to read. The plot is very different and with it being an AU you're allowing yourself a lot of freedom to play with the characters, not letting yourself slip into the usual steriotypes or cliches.

The only constructive criticim I can find to give you are your commar usage - you tend to overuse them in places and I think you're falling into trap of inserting a commar where you think the reader should take a breath. The simple rule to remember is to place a commar where there is an addition to a sentence, but the sentence would would fince without the extra information.

Anyways, welcome to LPfiction and I look forward to reading more from you. If you need any help or more feedback please contact me.

Bec

Finally someone new who can actually write! I love you're writing style, it has me totally hooked! Eagerly awaiting the next chapter =)

lol! Love the last part

And the slash =D

Rob is hot (even with the STD)

And Chester is just...Weird

I like it!

Update real soon!

I love how opposite they are, in some ways. I'm looking forward to more about how they both handle their families.

Brad's character is just too cute. And can I say that asshole!Rob is probably the hottest thing ever [minus the STD]?

The slash was a nice touch. XD I enjoyed it.

lmao at the last part.

I anticipate more! <3

It was Wonderful,lovely and awesome and HOTTT!~LOL~Love this~

WOW~~I can't wait for the next!!

Update soon,please~<3

["You have cow eyes."] That line just totally killed the mood for me!! Roflmao. XD XD XD

-danni

i love this. rob is SUCH a dick, and i love it. more of him, pls.

i love your opposing mike and chester, the wonderful sexings they have, their strange connection. i'm excited to see chester interact with his niece and very amused at how blunt he is. this is great work and i'd love to read more.

ooo heh wonderful chapter! I love this story! Update soon please

-VP

awesome chapter anyway,I love it

Chester is a really weird boy here, innocent but evilish at the same time....that's really adorable

I'm waiting for surprise from him.

update soon~~~

I was happy to see this update! Nice.... :)

Update soon please. This story is great!

lmao

That last line was genius.

GAH!

I absolutely love this.

Mike and his boring job...Chester and his insanity...

YAY!

SLASH!!

It's been a while since I've read some. Mostly because I'm currently writing some and I haven't had the energy nor the effort to read anything lol.

This is wonderfully written. I can't wait for teh update :)

What a fab one parter and a great idea as well. I know I'm gonna say this a lot but Mike and Chester are simply the hottest and the best. Sex scenes are so good with these two.