LPfiction

Category Linkin Park

Coffee by Rock Goddess

Coffee

Another pointless, plotless, yet cute and adorable story. Since I got such a positive response to my last fic I thought I'd post another one. Yay.


This story is basically just Mike being a little dipshit, which we don't see often so I thought it'd be a nice treat.



* * *



“Coffee’s hot, Chaz. Just made it.”


“Thanks Rob!”


“Ewwie! You’re gonna drink coffee!”


“Yes, Mike. I happen to like the stuff.”


“No, but it’s bad! It’s evil… Deadly liquid.”


“It’s not bad, it wakes you up in the morning, which is good at times like this.”


“But it smells bad and it tastes bad and it looks bad and it stains bad and, and, and it’s evil.”


“It’s not evil. It tastes good, try some…”


“NO! Keep it away!”


“Don’t run away, Mike, it won’t bite.”


“Yes it will! It’ll get me in the night!”


“No it won’t! What are you talking about?”


“It will, I tell you!”


“Mike, shut up and come back over here.”


“What are you gonna do to me?”


“Kiss you…”


“But… but the coffee!”


“I’m putting the coffee down now, see? It’s on the table now. Don’t look at me like that! Come here…”


“No.”


“Why not?”


“The coffee will attack!”


“Mike, the coffee won’t attack. You’re being stupid.”


“I don’t like coffee.”


“I know you don’t but it will not kill you. Where are you?”


“The lounge… Yes it will kill me. It’s poison.”


“It’s not. There you are, don’t run away”


“Why not?”


“'Cause I wanna kiss you, dammit!”


“No you don’t! You’re gonna breath coffee breath all over me!”


“You know you’re cute when you’re in childish-mode.”


“Really? Ya think so? HEY! You’re just trying to seduce me so I’ll kiss you and then you’ll kill me with the coffee!”


“No I’m not! Mike you’re outta your mind.”


“No Im not, Chester. I’m completely sane, but the coffee’s taking over your head… and your breath. You smell bad!”


“Aww, thanks! You know I smell good, don't I, baby?"


"No! Get away! You’re gonna kill me with that coffee breath! You taste like it too!”


“But you haven’t tasted me yet.”


“Yet? I don’t wanna. Not with the coffee breath.”


“You know you want to, you can’t resist me, baby!”


“Nooo! You’ll never take me alive!”


“You’re too ticklish. Stop squirming!”


“I’m not ticklish, I’m just squirming for sake of it! See it’s not tick- AHH! Not there! That’s my soft spot!”


“Isn’t it a bummer I know all your soft spots? Told ya you were ticklish.”


“I’m not! You know you still smell off coffee? Tickling me won’t change that.”


“I know, but tickling is fun.”


“Not for me it isn’t!”


“That’s 'cause you’re ticklish!”


“No I’m not!”


“You’re in denial. Now come here.”


“No! The coffee’s taking over your head!”


“No, you’re just goin crazy. Get here!”


“Fine…”


“There ya go.”


“You’re squeezing me too tight! Stop nibbling on me! I told you the coffee was taking over!”


“It’s not the coffee, Mike.”


“No, don’t intoxicate me! The coffee! Mmphgrr!”


“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”


“That was pure evil! I told you not to kiss me! It’s gonna kill me one of these da- Aaagleeeh! Mmmphmmm… OI! Why would you do something so mea- Gehhmmm!”


“Mike, I told you it’s not going to kill you! Now come on, a little tongue action! Please?”


“No, ya dirty!”


“Why not?”


“The coffee… Always about the coffee.”


“I’ll get you in the mood, baby. Just relax…”


“Stop breathing coffee breath in my ear! What are you- Oooh… Hey, wow… Mmm… You sure know how to get you point across, don’t ya- Mmm…”


“There ya go, Mikey. Now you’re in the mood, aren’t ya?”


“No! You’re evil! The coffee’s gone to your head! It’s killin- Ah, ooh, it’s killing- Mmm… DAMN YOU! Hands off me, boy!”


“No, you like it… Don’t you, hmm?”


“Coffee breath! You smell! It’s- mmm… Oh God. Damn you, Bennington!”


“You like that!”


“It’s an evil plot to take over the sane people of America! Try resist it, baby! It’s bad- Mmm… Stop… No… It’s evil, Ches… Hands out… off…STOP!”


“Stop? Okay.”


“…Hey, wha…? Why’d you?”


“You told me to.”


“Where ya going? Where you taking your evil coffee breath?”


“To drink more coffee.”


“Ewwie!”


“Mike! At this time in the morning? Jesus, you two never give up do ya?”


“What? ROB! You shouldn’t be looking down there!”






End.

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