Category Linkin Park

And then there was you by Buffy

Go Away

Yet again a sleepless night. I pulled myself out of my cramped, tiny bunk and made my way into the

'living room'. As usual Chester was up and writing in his diary. Who the hell at 25 years old, and a guy

no less, has a diary? I sat down across from him and resisted the urge to take the small, blue hard

backed notebook away from him. I stared at him for a little while, I guess, without noticing because he

asked me if I needed anything.

I shook my head and glared at him. The latest escapade had been Rollingstone magazine. He and I

were supposed to be on the cover, plus a nice little article. It was front man week or something. I was

excited as hell to, I mean Rollingstone? And to be chosen to be on the cover over guys like Maynard

and Chino? Well we do the shoot and the interview and the mag comes out with just HIM on the

cover. That's right just bump ole Mikey, he won't mind.

It had been six months since the tour started and I was already ready to get the hell out. I still had

another six months at least, and it was killing me. Why would I leave you ask? Chester 'fucking'

Bennington. When that little prick first came aboard we welcomed him with open arms. He was

supposed to complete us, make us whole. We would stop being Hybrid Theory and become Linkin

Park. (Which of course was HIS idea. I'm really starting to hate that name).

But that's not what really happened. After we recorded our first cd we went on a worldwide tour. We

were all pumped, we were already getting play on all the Mtv's and Much Music's and all that shit, but

soon it turned into the Chester Bennington Side show. EVERY TIME "we" were on TV they were

talking about Chester. The savoir of a failing band. Failing?? Failing?? We barely started! Constantly

it was all Chester all the fucking time. Man I HATE that punk. Always so cocky and did I mention

weird? This guy is fucked up. He gets upset and he starts arranging shit in the tiny kitchen we have in

the bus. He got mad at Joe for teasing him and went and alphabetized EVERYTHING! Who does

that?? His weird habit of organizing and cleaning and the anal way he wears his clothes really starts to

get to a guy.

I watched him go back to his writing and noticed the way he bit at the small silver hoop around his

bottom lip. Damn that was sexy... Oh hell no. I had NOT just think of Bennington's lip as sexy had I??

I thought I must have been loosing it. Sure I thought lip rings were hot, but on girls!!! Not freaks! And

DEFIANTLY not guys.

It seemed like the more I hated him the more I just wanted to grab him by his skinny ass and fu- . Oh

we were not going there? Were we? Oh god, we were... No no? As I was going through my

dilemma, Chester looked up at me and glared.

"WHAT IS IT?" He looked pissed and for a second I couldn't figure out what his deal was. I suppose

it could be that I busted his chops on a daily basis. "Why are you staring at me" Did I grow an extra

head or are you thinking of someway to humiliate me in front of everyone again?"

I felt a slight twinge of guilt. He had a point. I did fuck with him a lot. I can't help it he's so

fucking...so...Irritating! And annoying and sexy as hell and Oh God... Not again? What the hell was

my problem? I realized I hadn't answered him and to my surprise he had tears in his eyes.

"Chaz, I-"

"You hate me. Got it. I said I was sorry about the magazine," he said softly.

"I know. It's cool. Forget it. I didn't mean to stare, I'm just tired," I said lamely. I felt bad for the first

time about making him suffer. And that's exactly what I'd been doing to him. I taunted him constantly,

mocked his performance. Fuck I was a dick?

Chester looked at me confused. I guess he was expecting me to laugh at his tears or at least make fun

of him. Earlier today I had torn a song he wrote to shreds. It actually wasn't bad... It was better than

what I had been doing, but by the time I was done he had ripped the page out of his notebook and

thrown it away.

"Listen Ches-" That was the first time I'd called him that. Usually it was Chaz, which I knew he

detested, partially because of the way I said it. He blinked at me and I felt my face get hot.

"Why do you hate me so much?" he whispered. "I like...Idolize you and you despise me."

"You... Really?" Chester idolizes me? Oh yeah, I'm a prick...

He nodded and looked down and it took everything in my being not to lift his chin and kiss his beautiful

lips. Hope surges threw me for a second that he might MORE than idolize me, but I pushed it away.

Becoming friends with Chester was one thing - I was not gay.

I stood and walked to the trash and retrieved the crumpled paper Chester had put in earlier. He looked

up and bit his lip hard. I knew he was waiting for me to mock him again. I laid the paper in front of him

and sat next to him. I knew I shouldn't but the urge to be near him was too much. I tried to fight the

feelings that were building but it was hard to ignore them.

"These lyrics were amazing. I'm a selfish, jealous jerk and I'm sorry."


"Yeah, I want to be friends. I won't be an ass again." I leaned closer to him, and before I realized

what I was doing my lips were brushing his. He gasped and I pulled away quickly and stood. "Umm

so... Yeah I guess I'll go to bed now?" I knew my face had to be bright red. I felt sick to my

stomach, and I wished I'd never gotten up in the first place. I couldn't be his friend if I wanted to fuck


'?re not just attracted.'

The thought made me dizzy and I braced myself against the table.

*chester's pov*


Mike shook his head and leaned into the table. He hadn't just tried to kiss me, had he? No. Then

again he had been nice for those few minutes. I was thrilled when he said he wanted to be friend. He

even called me Ches. I hated Chaz. It wasn't me. But the fans loved it. No one but Mike called me

that normally. He knew how much it bugged me.

I looked at him for a few more seconds before I reached out and touched his arm. I expected him to

jerk away and when he leaned into it I slid over the seat and stood so I could hug him. He looked so

upset, and it was the only thing I could think to do. He let me. I was pleasantly surprised. I'd had a

crush on Mike forever. Even though he was mean. He was nice to everyone else, so I kept hoping

he'd warm up to me.

I swear as we were hugging, he smelled my hair. It was curly then and I hated it, but it was late and I

didn't really think that I'd have Mike Shinoda in my arms, ya know?

He pulled away and stared into my eyes. He looked sad and lost and I wanted so badly to make him

feel better. I knew he felt like I was taking his place in the band; that's why he got the way he did. I

couldn't be too angry.

He touched the side of my face and before I could stop myself I leaned in and kissed him softy on the

lips. He didn't pull away and I was thrilled when he kissed me tentatively back. His lips were soft and

he parted them and I slipped my tongue inside. He moaned and flicked his tongue against mine and I

felt myself getting hard. Mike kissing me! Dear God, I'd died and gone to heaven!

He suddenly pulled away and I looked at him hurt.


Mike shook his head and my heart sank into my stomach. He closed his eyes and I felt a little guilty for

kissing him. It wasn't what he wanted. What if he told the rest of the guys I came onto him? I thought I

was going to puke.

I was starting to get really paranoid. He smiled at me, but it looked forced, which made me feel worse.

He reached his hand out and moved to touch my shoulder when suddenly we were both thrown to the

ground. The brakes of the bus squealed and Mike fell hard on top of me.

"Oof!" Mike grunted out. All his weight was on top of me causing my face to flush when I realized I

was still hard. There was no way he didn't feel that. He looked up and into my eyes as the rest of the

gang cursed and clumsily made they're way into the sitting area.

"Hey, I always knew you two were lovers!" Joe cracked, clutching his stuffed frog, Mr. Froggles.

"Fuck you, Hahn! Maybe Bennington is a fag, but I'm not." Mike growled as he pushed painfully off

my smaller form. My face was still red, but thanks to Mike's comment I didn't have to worry about

anyone noticing my hard on. I felt tears spring in my eyes. He promised.

"What the fuck happened?" Brad asked annoyed. "I was this close to nailing Britney Spears in this

wicked dream I was having!"

Biff, our bus driver, made his way to the back. He held up his hands when he was hit with a barrage of

questions from everyone but me. I couldn't yet find the courage to speak for fear Mike might say


"We blew a tire," Biff told us in his thick Irish accent. "Seems as though we've found ourselves right in

front of the hotel Bob was going to make you losers stay at, so he's calling Triple A and making me wait

on the bus. You lucky bastards better get your asses off my bus before I lock you all inside with me."

He gave Phi a creepy look after that. Biff had always made me feel a little on the dirty side.

Joe and Phi, not noticing Biff's longing stare, began to do the happy dance, as I like to call it, and

yipped like little Chihuahuas. Hotels meant swimming pools, hot tubs, and a bed that wasn't moving.

"Bob says to hook up with your lovers and share a room. He's too bloody fucking cheap to get a room

for me, you boys mind sharing with me?" he looked over at Phi and licked his lips a little. Phi noticed

that time and hurried back to his bunk to grab his things.

I groaned under my breath, not looking forward to sharing a room. I usually got stuck with Brad, who

was constantly talking about how much Britney Spears loved him. Not fair. I looked at Mike, but he

avoided my glance.

"I think since Mike and Chester like to lay on top of each other they should room together for a

change!" Brad said. The others, excluding Mike, nodded.

"Besides Chester's a bathroom hog and Mike is a cranky ass!" Rob shot. Mike glared at him and Rob

grinned widely.

"No fair!" Mike whined.

"Too late!" Joe squeaked. "I get Robbie and Phi gets Braddles!"

"Damn you Joe, I, like, hate it when you call me Braddles!" Brad bitched.

After about 20 minutes of Mike complaining and us gathering stuff we were on our way. Triple A

hadn't shown yet and I felt sorry for Bob who looked exhausted. I felt sorrier that I had to be with


We reached the hotel just in time to get the last rooms available. They were on a different floor and

Mike grabbed one of the keys and headed to the elevator. I rushed to keep up, trying not to look hurt.

We were quiet on the ride up, we had gotten the room on the 8th floor and the others were on the

ground, so we didn't have to ride with them. It was a relief because I still wasn't sure what to make of


When we got to the room he dropped his bag and shoved the key card in the door and stormed in. I

followed him inside and frowned when he cursed. One bed. Queen sized. This would be very bad for


"Mike..." I whispered. I was shocked when he turned and pushed me to the floor. My back hit the

door and it slammed shut. I looked up at him in total shock and fear. He advanced toward me and I

felt like curling in into a ball and crying. Of course I'm a fucking baby so it's not surprising. In my self-

loathing I barely noticed him reach for me and before I knew it he had pulled me to my feet. He held

his fist up and I cringed away and whimpered much to my chagrin. This isn't fair. He wanted me to kiss


"I don't want you fag!" He spit out. I gulp and try to avoid his stare. "Kissing you was sick."

He stares at me with a sneer on his face. I can't hold it anymore and tears leak out of the corner of my

eyes. It's not fair; all I want is for him to like me. I wish now I hadn't kissed him, but dammit he

seemed to want it! Now I'll probably get my ass kicked and he'll make them throw me out of the band.

Guess its back to grinding coffee beans for 5.15 an hour.

I whimpered again as his grip tightened and he started to choke me. "Please Mike..." I gasp. Tears are

flowing freely now and part of me just wished he would knock me out and get it over with. Suddenly

his expression softened and his eyes went wide. Like he realizeds he hurt me and didn't know what to

make of it.

"Ches. Oh my God. I didn't." He loosened his grip and almost lovingly brushed the tears away. I wanted to pull away but I can't. I just want him to like me. Why can't he like me? I moved my face closer to his hand and whispered, "I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me."

"God Ches, I'm a fucker. God I'm sorry. I'm not. I can't be gay! And you kissed me and God I

wanted it and all this." He's at a loss and again I don't want to be mad at him. He's like a confused

scared little boy. He can't help but lash out at what he doesn't understand.

"Mike, I know." We are so close right now I can smell his body wash. "It's ok. I know it's scary. I

was afraid to when I realized I liked guys more than girls." I finish trying not to sniff him and I felt my

face get warm.

He sniffled. "I don't like guys! I mean... I'm sorry about what I said on the bus. I swear. I won't be

mean anymore. Please. I won't hurt you. I-"

I cut his ramblings off with a soft kiss. He tried to pull away but I held him close to me. I may be small

but I have one hell of a grip. He struggles for mere seconds before he is kissing me gently in return.

I pull away this time and he looks at me a little lost. "I really like you Mike. I always have."

"Really? I-I like you too I think... Oh God I do... I like a guy... Oh man...

He looked humiliated and I smiled softly. "It'll be okay, you don't have to be scared I won't tell


"Thanks. I really am sorry. I don't know what comes over me I just... I don't know. All I know is I

want to kiss you so bad right now."

I smiled shyly at him. Mike wanted to kiss me! I was almost giddy. We're going to be friends! I

almost did a little dance right then. If he started being nice to me then the others will accept me and I

won't feel so alone anymore. In fact I'm starting not to feel lonely at all.

He leaned in and our lips brushed and he ran his fingers over my curls. We got closer and I felt his lips

curve up into a smile. "These curls are fucking sexy as hell Ches." He said against my lips. I blushed

again and pressed my mouth harder against his and we kissed with more passion. He slid his arms

around me and pulled me in close and my heart felt like it might explode when someone knocked on the

door. Our moment was shattered and I cursed the person on the other side of the door.

Mike groaned and reluctantly pulled away. He smiled shyly at me and in that moment I knew he meant

what he said. He wanted to be friends. He liked me. He more than liked me. We moved away from

the door so it can be opened and I can't help but smile. It was going to be an interesting night.

It turned out to be Joe. Anyone surprised? He wanted to know if we wanted to go down to the pool.

It was late but we are famous and tossing money at someone to get a couple hours of pool time is not

unheard of. Mike looked at me waiting for my response. I knew that Mike doesn't have swim shorts

anymore thanks to Joe, who borrowed them the last time we stayed in a hotel, ended up loosing them.

So this means Mike in wet clingy boxers. Can I get a hallelujah? Course this means I'll have to be extra

careful or they all might notice how much I like 'swimming'.

"Sure." I said, and smiled at Joe, even though a part of me wanted to slap him upside the head for

interrupting. "Sounds cool. I'll grab my trunks."

Mike looked a little surprised but nodded. "Yeah sounds cool. But uh, thanks to Joe I have nothing to

swim in."

Joe sighed, "I said I was sorry. Swim naked. haha."

Mike blushed. "I'm not fucking swimming naked; I'll wear boxers or something." He was pouting and I

bit back a giggle. Thank you God for inventing silk boxers. And thank you for making Mike wear them

so much.

Joe said he'd meet us down stairs and hopped out of the room stuffed froggie in tow. I was kind of

waiting for Mike to yell at me and I was very pleased when he kissed me quickly on the mouth and told

me to get changed. I wondered for a second if he was thinking the same thing about me as I was him.

Wet, clingy, shirtless...

I stripped down and Mike watched me carefully. I wasn't normally self-conscious but his stare made

me blush. I cleared my throat and he looked up and grinned, and I felt my face grow hot. He slowly

undressed and I suddenly didn't want to see him wet and clingy. I just wanted to see him naked.

He glanced over at me and our eyes locked. Now in just shorts I felt a little inadequate. He has an

amazing body. He'd worked his ass off for the past 6 months and it showed. I took care of my self too

but lets face it I'm always going to have a small frame.

He walked over to me and touched my face and grinned that famous Shinoda grin. "You are so

beautiful Chester." He leaned down a little and our lips touched. I sighed contently and got closer. He

pulled me closer and slowly sucked my lip ring. I whimpered a little. Since I got it pierced it was

incredibly sensitive. He took this as a green light and he flicked his tongue over the hoop. I gasped and

flicked mine in return and he kissed me more fiercely.

He pulled away and I pouted. He laughed and hugged me for a moment. "We?d better go down there.

We don't want another interruption." I smiled. He had a point.

Mike grabbed a couple towels and opened the door. I pointed out the door. His bag was still in the

hall. He pulled it inside and his eyes grew cloudy. "I really am sorry I hurt you Ches..."

"I know Mike. I know." I took his hand and he squeezed it. I was disappointed when he let go, but

not surprised. He probably won't be ready to tell anyone about us for a while. But that?s ok I can wait.

He's worth it.

*Mike's pov*

I couldn't believe this was happening. Me and Bennington? Ack. I can't be gay.

Then I looked at him as he jumped in the pool cannonball style and soaked Joe, who was trying to

convince his frog to swim. Joe yelled at Chester as his head popped out of the water. He had an evil

grin (one that was actually common place on his face) and swam away when Joe splashed at him.

Watching this little spectacle made me realize I'm unbearably attracted to him. I had the urge to swim

over to him and dunk him. Then of course wrestle with him till we started kissing.

I have to push this thought out of my head and focus on the fact that while I was in dream land they all

seemed to decide to sneak up on me. The five of them attacked at once, Joe making a Xena like war

cry, leaping on me forcing me under the water. We all struggled with one another for a while before

Chester pulled me to safety out of the pool. He's little but he's strong as heck. I grabbed my towel as

he guided me into the steam room unnoticed and shut the door. The dry hot air felt good against my

cold wet skin. He splashed some eucalyptus water on the hot coals and a pleasant smelling steam

slowly rose. We sit close and Ches put his head on my shoulder. I sighed contently and relaxed. Being

this close was nice.

He reached down and took my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. I loved the contrast of his

pale skin against my tanned skin. I pulled our hands up and kissed his fingers. He grinned happily and

looked in my eyes. He had lost his glasses somewhere in our journey in the pool, and I could see into

his eyes clearly. I never noticed how deep they are.

"Do you see something interesting Mikey?" He asked.

I smiled. "I see you."

He leaned in and we kissed softly. My heart pounded in my chest as he began kissing me harder. I

kissed him back with as much passion as he kissed me.

This is amazing. I couldn't believe I was doing this and yet I couldn?t believe I didn't do it sooner.

Suddenly I heard the latch on the door click and I pushed Chester away from me. Hurt flashed in his

eyes as Joe walked in and plopped across from me. I had my hands in my lap and I prayed he doesn't

notice my discomfort. I pulled my towel over to me quickly and wrapped it around me.

"I?m going to bed guys, I'm exhausted..."

Joe nodded and stared at me suspiciously.

"You ok Mike?" Joe asked. I looked at Chester who looked away from me. Dammit I probably hurt

his feelings. But I couldn?t let ANYONE find out we were kissing. What would they think??

"I'm fine Joe, just tired." I sighed. Joe didn't look like he believes me but he nodded.

"Ok, but in the off chance you're a big liar you know you can talk to me right?"

I nodded and with out looking back at Chester I walk out. I feel bad but I know that if I looked back

there was a chance I'd give myself away. I walked past the pool and the rest of the guys still splashing

each other. They didn't even notice me walk by. Good. I just really want to get up stairs and finish

myself off.

Joe's pov

I knew something was wrong with Mike. He's my best friend. And honestly the only thing that came to

mind was Bennington. He looked upset when Mike rushed out and I can only guess why.

The looks he always gave Mike while he was staring at him. The constant pained look he carried when

Mike mocked him... Chester had it bad. And it was sick. No wonder Mike didn't like the twerp. I

never thought we needed anyone but the 5 of us but we were told it would be a good idea to have

another singer. Mike could sing. We'll well enough for us to get by... We really didn't need HIM

screwing up the group's dynamic, even if he had a great voice. Which I still felt was debatable. He was

so-so. I felt my self-control slip a little and Remmy tried to force his way in. Normally I'd fight it off but

I didn?t feel like it now.

"So what did you say to him?" I snapped. He flinched a little. Maybe he was expecting me to yell at

him. I was usually civil to him, but only because I had to. Bob told all of us a few months ago that we

HAD to be nice to him or we'd get hell. We had been pretty nice to him, aside from Mike. Actually

when Mike was mean to him we all tended to laugh at Chester. I can't help it if Mike's funny.

"N-nothing." He said quietly.

I wanted to smack him. He probably came on to Mike and freaked him out. Little troll. I had a bad

feeling since he came to us he was going to ruin things. Mike could never even remotely want HIM. In

the past month I've gone from tolerating Chester to almost despising him. Mike deserved to have some

credit and it all went to Chester.

Chester stood and made his way towards the door but I stopped him. No way was I going to let this

little punk get away with upsetting Mike.

"You know he was so excited about the Rollingstones cover that you stole away from him" I growled.

He swallowed hard and tried to pull away.

"Joe we talked about it and he's ok with it. And anyway I didn't steal it. I didn't know." He pleads as I

squeeze his arm tighter. I felt Remmy take complete control and I slipped away into the black.


Cliffhanger!!! So read and review and a chapter filled with Mike and naughty alone

time is sure to come. (no pun intended...)

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