Category Linkin Park

The Days in Which We Are. by Nef

Title: The Days in Which We Are.

Summary: “I guess I hurt both of us this time.” (M/C slash)

Rating: NC-17 (Cursing and sexual content)

Disclaimer: Ooooh one of these again okay I’m taking a small break from Game Of Chance but don’t worry I’m still hard at work on chapter eight, just with being ill it’s not coming out very well. Just remember kiddies; it’s all about the boy love.

Days in Which We Are.

Oh how I hate it when you go on like this Chester, how I hate it when you pick on my mistakes, just because we’re not all perfect like you. Okay so maybe you aren’t THAT perfect but you make it out that you are, that I am just your under, your second in command.

“Are you listening?” You barked making me look up ever so slowly. “Oh I give up with you!”

I watched you storm down to the other end of the bus; I hate it when you have these little tantrums because of me, and everyone knows it’s because of me. But I’m not going to let it affect me anymore; I know I am so much better than you think. So I make mistakes, like today, I accidentally spilt Brad’s after-shave all over your favourite shirt, the one you were planning on wearing tonight. But then who would care? The shirt looked bad on you, made you look fat, which is amazing considering you’re like a twig.

So you think I’m your second huh? Think you are the leader, guess again ass. If I remember correctly Brad and I started the band up first, in fact you were the last one to be recruited and that was only because I “Cant” sing. But I think it’s this age thing that made you think you were superior, that or the fact you really hate me, it must be the latter because you leave the others well alone but me, oh no you have to get to me. Don’t get me wrong Chester I don’t hate you, in fact it’s quite the opposite, hell we have some great laughs I just hate it when you act like my fucking father, hence why I don’t talk to him anymore.

But I guess it can’t be all bad, I mean if I didn’t have someone to pick up on my mistakes then I would never learn right? But why did it have to be you?

“Oh why are you doing your hair like that?”

I cringed. Here we go again, now you don’t like it when I gel my hair back so that the purple and blues stand out.

“Here.” And before I can protest you’ve nabbed the gel and are messing my hair back into its natural spikes. “That looks better you know.”

I cringe at the softness in your voice; I hate it when you use that tone right after belittling me. It’s the one you use when we’re in my bunk fucking, the one you use as you stroke my cheek and kiss down my chest, must you ruin everything for me? I don’t argue with you as you lecture me on appearance. Apparently the Mike Shinoda the fans know always has spiky hair. You’re probably right Chester, you usually are apparently. But just because I won’t argue with you doesn’t mean I will stand here and listen to your lecturing.

“Where are you going?” You asked as I slid past you into the bunk section.

“My Bunk.” I answered and jumped in pulling the privacy curtain shut and locking it. I heard you come in and sighed. “Chester, I just wanna be alone for a little while, I’m really tired.”

“No until you tell me what’s going on.” You answered firmly. “Now what’s going on? You’ve been moody ever since we started this tour.”

I swear you hate me Chester, you must get a real kick out of belittling me and making me feel like a pathetic moron. That’s why we’re together really, because it gives you more reason to criticize me and get away with it. It doesn’t matter that I love you, but when we are together I can just pretend you feel the same, just for a little while.

“Well?” you snapped. “Or am I going to have to rip this curtain off?”

I sighed and undid the lock, drawing the curtain back angrily and staring at you from where I lay. I didn’t want to say anything; I just wanted it all to stop. I waited for you to say something, usually you had something to say but I guess this time it was my turn to talk.

“I don’t have anything to say to you right now, so just leave me be.” I spoke as calmly and normally as I could.

“There must be something on your mind because you’ve been a complete ditz lately.” You answered raising an eyebrow.

“Just…” I sighed in frustration and turned my back on you. “Go away.”

And that really should have been it but oh no you had to climb into my bunk and close the curtain, you had to roll me onto my back and pin me down so I couldn’t get away. That really was the last straw right there and then and before you had chance to start another one of your little lectures I snapped.

“You wanna know what my problem is?” I hissed struggling against you. “I’m fed up of the way you constantly make me feel pathetic, the way you always yell at me for my mistakes but never anyone else! I’m fed up of feeling like a child in your presence and never being able to do anything right by you! I’m fed up of you not feeling the same way I feel about you!”

You just stared at me in a stunned silence, your chocolate brown eyes just wide and staring. Your grip loosened on me and I instantly rolled onto my side no longer wanting to face you. I love you Chester but I couldn’t take anymore of this, I want you to be with me because you cared not because you wanted to make my life a misery.

“Because of me?” You stammered sounding small and lost.

“Please Chester just leave me alone okay?” I whispered as fresh tears started to fall; I can tell I hurt you but you had to push for an answer. I sighed and closed my eyes. “Just go.”

The minute you’re gone I missed your touch and your closeness but I couldn’t seem to find the will to call you back. I guess I hurt both of us this time.

Days passed and we barely spoke to each other, for some reason I found myself avoiding you, if you were at the front of the bus I was in my bunk or at the back, if you were in the bunks I would stay at the front praying that I could make a fast escape if you suddenly walked in. it hurt so much to do this, to avoid you but I didn’t know what else to do. And the others notice something is wrong because the two lovebirds aren’t making out at every possible chance or hugging each other and laughing together, but after I yelled at Joe they chose not to interfere. They shouldn’t bother themselves. At night it was the worst because that was the time when we would lay next to each other and talk or kiss but now I am alone in my small bunk, tears trailing down my face as I try hard not to sob but it’s too much, I suddenly miss what we had, I missed you Chester.

Then one night we got our one chance of a break. It was only for two days but it meant a hotel with a shower and decent sized beds and best of all, privacy. We were all standing in the front area of the bus listening to Bob drone on about how we can’t go out after eleven or we’ll be locked out, no girls are allowed in the rooms, we are not to drink all the booze in the mini-bar and we have to share.

“Share?” I stammered. I looked at Bob and frowned. “I thought you said we were getting rooms to ourselves!”

“Change in plan Shinoda.” Bob shifted his bulk. “They can only afford to give three rooms to the band, so you’ll be sharing. Now split up.”

I growled and stalked towards my bunk for my bag. I didn’t care whom I was with just as long as I wasn’t with you. I would even put up with over hyper and crazed Joe just so I didn’t have to put up with this uncomfortable feeling. I headed back towards the front area and stopped short.

“They guys all paired up.” You mumbled and shifted around, digging your hands into your jacket pockets and rotating your upper body that way you do when you’re nervous or being reserved.

“Fine.” I managed and headed for the door, moving quick enough so I didn’t have to look you in the eye.

I should be happy, after all you no longer yell at me when I accidentally drop a bottle of water or spill milk into the toaster. But I’m not, I wasn’t happy when you yelled at me and I’m not happy now. I guess it was not meant to be. I snatched my key from Bob and ran for the closing elevator. Just my luck we have to be stuck all the way up on the sixth floor, one floor above everyone else. I hate those little key card things they have now installed; I can never get it to work so when you walk up five minutes later I’m still there cursing to myself and wishing to god this wasn’t happening now.

“Here.” You slip the card in and instantly the door opens. I could only watch as you walk into the dark room and disappear into the blackness. Your voice is loud and clear but had not body, no substance, no life. “Are you coming in or what?”

“Yeah… right.” I stammered and shut the door, walking well in the darkness, late nights and sneaking around with you have made me capable of moving easily through dark rooms as if I were in a room full of light. I dumped my bag on the floor and headed for the bathroom for a shower and to clear my head. “I’m taking a shower.”

“Mike wait.”

I wanted to keep walking I knew you were going to yell at me or something bad like that but I froze, part of me just hoped for your touch once more. My wish was granted. I melted into your touch and as your hand came to rest on the side of my arm, I could see your face clearly now, your eyes dark with sadness.

“Oh god I am so sorry.” I bit back the tears but it didn’t work, I spun away and locked myself in the bathroom sliding down the wall and huddling myself against the door wishing to god I could take away the pain and sadness I caused you, I loved you so much.

“Mike please open up.” You begged and banged so hard on the door I thought you were going to break it.

“Go away please Chester?” I sobbed not caring if you heard. “I just want to be alone.”

The silence came as I requested only to cause more tears to fall, I owed you the biggest apology, it should be me begging to talk to you not the other way around. After a while I finally decided that hiding in the bathroom for the whole two days wasn’t an option and hesitantly unlocked the door, stepping out into the blackness. I couldn’t hear any noises but I’m sure I didn’t hear the door close so you couldn’t have left.

“What the hell?” I yelped as I was forced onto the bed and someone pinned me there. God they were strong. “Get off of me!”

“Not until we talk about this!” You hissed and ceased my struggling. You didn’t let go, as you sat up a little, straddling me, if you dared to move back further you would realise that your presence and touch did more than just comfort me. “Mike, I don’t know what to say to you. You hurt me but what hurt even more was the fact that you didn’t tell me what I was doing was upsetting you straight away.”

“Why would you care?” I sobbed struggling feebly, where the hell did you get all this strength from? “You hate me anyway so it must be a relief not having to put up with me anymore.”

“Is that what you think?” you sounded surprised. “Oh Mike how could you think that?”

“Because you always picked up on my faults but not anyone else’s, if something went wrong I was to blame, you always hounded me always made me feel unimportant, stupid!” I closed my eyes. “I love you Chester but I can’t deal with this.”

“Mike, I don’t hate you, far from it in fact.” You sounded heart broken. I did it again I tore you apart. “I love you Mike, I never meant to upset you.”

That was it. That was all you had to say to make the pain even worse. To make the guilt even more unbearable so that I broke out into fresh sobs half in joy that you loved me and not hated me, and half because I had hurt the one person who shared my love. I looked at you through the blackness.

“Mike say something please, stop crying you’re scaring me.” You stammered and pulled me up so some how I was now sitting in your lap. “Please baby I want this all over with.”

“You…you love me.” I managed between sobs resting my head on your shoulder. “But why did you act like that? Like my father?”

“I didn’t realise I was doing it Mike.” You whispered into my ear.

The sudden realisation of how close you are suddenly kicks in. it was your warm breath that did it, the way it tickled my neck and sent shivers down my spine. I could smell your aftershave, fresh and clean just the way I liked it, there was also the faint scent of soap; so clean and original like you. I melt against your touch as your hands rub lovingly over the small of my back, one of my weak spots. I moan slightly not realising I had done it until it was too late. I blushed, not that you could see it and sat up to face you.

“Sorry.” I murmured. Shivering when your fingers ran over my cheeks, a soft smile playing your lips.

“Don’t be.” You whispered.

“No I’m sorry, I was stupid to over react like that.” I stammered. “But you made me so angry Chaz, I never wanna be that angry with you again.”

“Mike it’s okay.” You smiled and kissed me so suddenly that I had no time to react before you pulled away. For a moment we stared at each other, I remembered the familiarity of it all, of your touch and taste and the way your lips melted so well into mine. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that...”

But before you can carry on I pressed my lips to your again savouring your sweet strong taste that I love so much. You didn’t kiss back for a moment then you did, your warm wet tongue darting out to meet mine. I pulled you closer if that was possible, running my hands over your clean shaven head and along your neck as the kiss deepened, our tongue fighting for space in each other’s mouths whilst your taste invaded my mouth reminding me how much I needed to be with you, how stupid I was for letting this all get out of hand. I moaned as you hands found it’s way under my shirt and stroked my lower back before your small nails digging in as I moved from your lips to you neck, loving the feel of your soft delicate skin.

“Mike…” You breathed as we slowly laid down on to bed, you under me, our hands and bodies entwined in clothing and hair. You Breath into my ear, your breathing heavy and sharp. “I need you Mike, I need you so bad…”

I moaned as you pushed your erection to mine proving to me just how much you “Needed” me. I could feel your hands slowly making them way down to the zippers on our pants as I tugged at the buttons on your shirt, teasing them open as quickly as I could with shaking hands. Back in this old situation, it felt to right, to have you here with me. It was a blur, the part where we managed to go from fully dressed to completely naked, all I remember was moaning and kissing and the cold air, I remembered the way your hands just moved so gracefully over my skin, knowing exactly how I liked to be touched, where to be touched. You knew it all.

“Please Mike…” You whispered into my ear. I knew what you wanted before you even said it. “I want to be in you now.”

I willingly allowed you to be on top, it was your favourite position and my Chester; we had tried them all. Instantly your lips were on mine; hungry and needing, oh god how I needed you Chester now more than ever. You positioned yourself carefully between my legs, dragging your lips away from mine and sliding your finger into their place. I salivated your finger as quick as I could, all the while making it slow too, dragging my tongue delicately over your bony joints; teasing you. I could see it on your face, the pleasure the sight was causing you.

“Enough.” You rasped, obviously becoming impatient. You pulled your finger away and replaced it once more with your soft loving lips, sliding your finger inside. “Try and relax, I don’t want to hurt you.”

This is the part I hated, I’ve always hated it, it hurt, it was uncomfortable. But pain was always rewarded with pleasure. I tried to relax, much in vain but you figured it was enough and position yourself at my opening.

“Chester.” I finally spoke up, clutching to your strained arms. “Please, go slow.”

“I will.” You nodded and kissed me lightly taking my mind away from you pushing in.

I cried out in pain, the tears welling up almost instantly. I tried to relax, breathing deeply and closing my eyes. You didn’t move but it didn’t make much difference. The pain was still there making me feel sick. After a moment I nodded, signifying to you to start moving. You started slowly, pushing in as deep as you could go then sliding out, grunting and pushing back in making me whimper in pain.

“God you’re so tight Mike.” You growled, pushing in deeper and brushing against something that flooded my body with heated pleasure. I moans were all you needed to know that you could move faster and you seemed to sigh in relief at this, as if moving slowly was painful for you. “Oh Mike…”

I opened my eyes, rocking my hips in time with your thrusts and watched as your face, lit up by the pale moon light, showed your pleasure, your eyes closed and sweat leaving a erotic sheen on your skin. I moaned as you thrust in harder with automatic determination, the pleasure elevating with each heavy thrust from you, you silky yet wet skin sliding against mine. I gasped as your soft fingers found their way to my aching erection, sliding easily causing me to whimper and moan in so much pleasure. I drew my legs up further so you could push in deeper, the action causing you to cry out in pleasure a small smile dancing on your lips for just a second as you gasped for air. I could feel my body submitting to the pleasurable movements of your hand, the hot waves of pleasure becoming stronger.

“Mike… oh Mike…!” I felt your seed fill me, the warmth adding to the pleasure.

I came moments later, moaning your name and arching my spine into the waves that exploded through me. We lay there in the silence, our breathing being the only sounds to disrupt this peaceful bliss. I sighed in relief and comfort and you pulled me close, nuzzling your neck wondering why I ever became so angry with you.

“I promise I’ll never make you angry again Mike.” You whispered and kissed my forehead as my eyes slowly closed from exhaustion. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too Chester.” I murmured as sleep took over and a thick blanket of exhaustion and relief settled in.

I heard you move and felt the cool sheets over us before you settled down next to me again and kissed my forehead once again. I sighed in content and drifted off, a relieved smile playing on my lips.

A/N: sorry it kinda crappy to the end but I'm kinda ill and I'm just a little worried about my Step-Uncle who is in the Royal Marines in Iraq now. My heart goes out to all the families of those who were shipped to Iraq and to the citizen of Iraq and hope that this matter can be resolved with the least amount of casualties possible.

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