\\*FOR BECKY*//

Thanks for everything, honey. ^_~

Love you.

Now, on with the boylove!!! =D

~

Rob trudged into his friend's living room, a sad look on his face, and shook his head. He slumped down on the couch and looked around at the four other solemn faces sitting in the room. He took a deep shaky breath and said softly,

"He's no better. I found him curled up in the bathroom crying his eyes out- again." he paused to gather himself. "I don't know what to do." he said, obviously extremely concerned. He pulled his stylish glasses off roughly, throwing them on the nearest table then reaching up to rub away the marks on the bridge of his nose.

After a long, unsure silence, Brad bit his bottom lip and sat up fully on the couch. "I... I think I might have an idea." he said, hesitating for a moment.

All four of his friends looked up in surprise. Chester let out a short, sharp cynical laugh.

"Yeah, Brad, we've all had ideas. What makes this different?" he snapped. Mike reached over and placed a hand on his lover's shoulder firmly, instantly reprimanding and calming him with one simple touch. Chester sighed and recoiled slightly, running a hand through his blonde spikes. "Sorry, man. I'm just worried."

"Yeah, we all are!" Brad retorted loudly- which made Chester's eyes dance with anger- then he took a deep breath to calm himself. "Sorry. Look, can I have a couple of hours alone with him?" he asked hopefully.

"What are you going to do?" Joe asked, looking up from his shoes, suddenly skeptical. "Don't hurt him, Brad."

Brad shook his head. "I'm not going to hurt him, Joe. I just... I think I know how to help him. He says he feels nothing doesn't he, Rob?"

The drummer nodded, frowning. "He says he can't feel anything any more, no pleasure, no pain, no emotions. Completely numb."

"Then why does he cry so much?" Chester asked, leaning his head on to Mike's shoulder, who reached up and stroked the singer's hair comfortingly.

"Release, I suppose." Rob said and looked over at Brad, who nodded.

"I think I can help." he said, raising a hand to his mouth and nibbling on his thumbnail in a nervous habit. "He needs to feel again. I'll make him feel."

"How?" Joe and Chester both said in unison. Brad bit his lip and looked at his best friend, who he knew could read him. Mike stared into his eyes for a few seconds then nodded quickly. Brad nodded back and kept chewing nervously. Mike stood up quickly, pulling Chester with him and saying, with an authority no one could argue with,

"Let's go, guys."

Chester frowned and turned to his lover. "Why?"

"Brad's going to help Phe, baby." he said, walking over to the coat rack by the front door and pulling his and Chester's jackets off. "You coming?"

"Yeah. Good luck, Big Bad." Chester said, forcing a smile. Brad nodded curtly and reached over to give the petite singer a hug, which he returned with ferocity, leaving no questions as to how he felt- despite his brashness. He was just as worried as everyone.

Rob and Joe both stood up, hugged the guitarist, pulled on their coats and hurried out the door with Chester- which left Mike and Brad alone. The emcee turned to his best friend and smiled sadly.

"I'm so proud of you, Brad." he said softly. Brad nodded, took two big steps forward and pulled Mike into a fierce hug.

"I can't believe I'm doing this." the guitarist said, muffled slightly by the crook of Mike's neck. The emcee smiled and pulled back, holding Brad at arm's length to look at him.

"I can. Good luck, bro."

"Thanks, man. I should go do this before I back out." Brad said, smiled at Mike again and turned to walk up the stairs. Before Brad could even get half way up them, Mike called his name and he turned back around. His eyes met the sight of something small and plastic flying at him and, reflexively, he reached out to catch it. He looked down into the open palm of his right hand, and his cheeks flushed red as he identified the lubricant. When he looked up to scold- or thank- Mike, the emcee had already slipped out of the front door and shut it quietly. Brad sighed loudly and shook his head.

"Here goes." he muttered to himself, slipped the lubricant into the pocket of his baggy black pants and turned to walk up the stairs- taking them two at a time.

When he reached the top platform, his gaze fell on the door to the bathroom- and the most heartbreaking noise met his ears. Gentle, but still anguished sobs echoing around the tiled room, ricocheting off the cold walls and being amplified and thrown through the thin wooden door. He bit his bottom lip, approaching the door slowly, hesitating to open it for fear of losing control and bursting into tears at the site of such a beautiful man so broken.

Brad stood staring at the door for a good two minutes before he pulled himself together enough to reach out to the handle and open it. He slowly pushed the door open, and the sobbing became louder. He winced.

"Phe? Phoenix?" he said quietly, only having the courage to open the door half way.

A sniffle.

"Wh-what?" the bassist hiccuped.

"Can I come in?"

"Brad?"

"Yes."

A pause.

"I... I guess."

Brad pushed the door open further and looked around the bathroom. The white tiles lining the walls, floor and vanity had no light shining off them, except the occasional shimmer of lightning from a distant thunderstorm filtering through the small window. Shadows bounced off each wall and cupboard, slinked along the floor and darkened the room further. Brad let his gaze travel to the shower unit. He gasped, seeing exactly what Rob had mentioned earlier- but failed to explain.

Phoenix was curled up on the shower floor, his impressive frame folded down into a tiny ball, knees pulled up against his chest and arms wrapped around them. His pale skin glistened with droplets of water, obviously from when Phoenix turned the cold water on, highlighting how pale it was. Brad said his name softly, partly in shock, partly in disbelief- and he lifted his head. Brad felt tears begin to prickle at his eyes. His friend's beautiful light eyes lacked their usual sparkle, and in fact were so dull it scared the guitarist when they locked powerfully with his own. The sadness and emptiness reflected in their emerald depths was too much for him to grasp. He studied the sad face. Tears snaked shiny trails down cheeks scattered with auburn stubble, some slithering over the bassist's perfect rosy lips and disappearing between them.

Another sob pierced the air.

"Oh God... Phe..." Brad whispered, suddenly unfreezing, letting go of the door and rushing forward. He threw the glass door on the shower open and- ignoring the way Phoenix cowered and hugged himself close- dove on his friend. He pushed Phoenix's long legs out of the way and slid his arms around the bassist's thin waist, snuggling his face into the cold skin of his neck.

"Phe, you must be freezing... what are you doing?"

Phoenix didn't reply, just sobbed softly into Brad's shoulder. Brad let him cry, holding him close and rubbing his soaking wet back soothingly. Finally, Brad pulled away.

"You have to get out of here. Come on, let me get you warm and dry. Please?" he asked softly, not pressuring. Phoenix studied him for a few seconds, staring into his chocolate eyes. After a while, he nodded slowly. Brad immediately stood, pulling Phoenix with him. He slipped an arm around the bassist's back and cradled him close, steering him carefully out of the shower then grabbing a towel off the rack with his free hand. Brad wrapped the fluffy blue fabric around Phoenix and rubbed his upper arms vigorously, hoping to warm him a little bit. He stepped out of the bathroom and into the warmer and lighter hall, guiding Phoenix toward his bedroom, all the while whispering encouragingly to him. He pushed the door open with his foot.

"Come on, Phe, just in here. You lay on the bed and I'll find you some clothes." Brad said softly as he helped Phoenix onto the edge of the bed. When he moved to pull away, however, the bassist kept his steel grip on the front of Brad's shirt.

"Phe, come on, let go. I need to get you-"

"Brad... I- I can't feel anything. Make me feel?" Phoenix begged breathlessly, staring at him with desperation in his dull eyes. Brad frowned.

"Phe, I-"

His words were cut off as the bassist pulled him forward by his shirt and crashed their lips together. Brad's gasp of surprise was muffled by Phoenix's hot tongue sliding past his open lips. He shook himself mentally and returned the hot kiss, working his lips rhythmically with the bassist's. They kissed passionately, and Phoenix slipped his arms around Brad's neck, using the leverage to lift himself up to stand. Brad lost control of his own hands- they wandered over Phoenix's broad chest, strong arms and back, stroking gently. After a few minutes, Brad felt Phoenix's cold hands tug at the hem of his t-shirt, signalling that he wanted it off. The guitarist pulled back.

"Are you sure, Phe?"

In answer, Phoenix pulled Brad's shirt up over his stomach and the guitarist had no choice but to raise his arms as it was whipped over his head. As soon as it was off, Brad reached down and started on the buttons of Phoenix's shirt, feeling the bassist's hands at the button of his- already too tight at the crotch- jeans. He finally got all Phoenix's shirt buttons undone, and pushed it off the bassist's shoulders- as his own jeans and boxers were being pushed down. He toed off his sneakers and stepped out of his pants. Phoenix pushed his own pants and underwear down just as Brad leaned over and attacked his neck with soft kisses and gentle licks- only soothing and loving, never aggressive.

Phoenix slid his arms around the guitarist's shoulders and pulled him close. Their erections brushed together, making both men breathe heavily and shiver. Phoenix whimpered slightly, rolling his hips forward as Brad sucked his earlobe gently and whispered,

"I'm going to fuck you, ok? And you're going to feel..."

"Aahh.. yes..." Phoenix moaned breathlessly.

Brad turned them around slowly, not relinquishing the contact with Phoenix's skin as he said,

"Pocket of my jeans. Then get over here."

Phoenix nodded quickly and fell to his knees, groping in each of Brad's pockets until he came across the lubricant. He grabbed it and stood quickly, taking a short moment to admire Brad's beautiful body spread out across the bed, then climbed on top of Brad. The guitarist waited until Phoenix was straddling his hips before he lifted his knees to support Phoenix's behind, and raised his torso until he was as close to Phoenix as he could get.

Their lips connected again and Brad took the lubricant from where it was clutched in Phoenix's hand. He kept his lips on Phoenix's as he blindly opened the lubricant and spread it on three of his fingers.

Brad pulled his lips from the bassist's briefly. "Lift up a bit, Phe." he whispered. Phoenix obliged and lifted his hips to allow Brad access to his backside.

"Brad?" Phoenix whispered, "You don't have to be too gentle."

Brad shook his head, locking his gaze with Phoenix as he said, "I want you to feel pleasure, not pain. I would never hurt you."

Phoenix bit his lip and nodded. "I just want to feel." he said, voice shaking. Brad saw the tears beginning to well in his big eyes and he tilted his head to kiss Phoenix's cheek.

"Shh, shh don't cry."

He claimed the bassist's lips again- just as he slid a finger gently into him. Phoenix gasped into Brad's mouth- which made him pull away.

"Are you alright?"

"More..." Phoenix moaned hungrily, rocking his hips backwards. Brad obliged, sliding another finger into him and- at the loud moan of pleasure it caused- a third. He worked his fingers in and out carefully, relishing to the delicious wet sounds it made. Phoenix, meanwhile, grabbed the lubricant and poured some into his palm. He slid his hand downwards and slathered the silky liquid all over Brad's erection, making him pause for a moment and falter over Phoenix's name.

"Ph-Phe... you ready?"

"God, yes..."

Brad slid his fingers out of Phoenix's opening and reached out to grab Phoenix's hip. With his free hand, he grasped his erection and guided it to the bassist's entrance. He looked up and, at Phoenix's nod, began to pull Phoenix down onto him.

A sigh of pleasure escaped him, drowned out by a cry of pain.

"Do you want me to stop?" Brad said breathlessly, pausing when he was half way in. Phoenix shook his head frantically. When Brad still didn't move, stopping presumably to let Phoenix adjust, the bassist took a deep breath and pushed himself downwards hard.

"Oh, FUCK!" he cursed, tears now rolling down his cheeks- though whether they were from pain or pleasure he didn't know.

"Shit! Phe..." Brad moaned, voice an octave higher than normal.

Phoenix panted heavily, biting his lip to choke back the sobs of pain and pleasure that threatened to escape. He wrapped his arms around Brad's shoulders and let his head fall to rest in the crook of Brad's neck, completely draped over him. The guitarist bit back his own moans of pleasure and reached up to stroke Phoenix's sweaty back slowly.

"Are you ok?" he asked softly after a few minutes, words laboured. He felt Phoenix nod. "Can... can you move?" he continued gently, encouraging, not pressuring. Phoenix nodded again. Brad felt his heart speed up even more. He placed his hands on Phoenix's hips, bracing him for the movement.

"Oooh..." Phoenix breathed as he lifted himself up, then slid down again. Brad gasped in pleasure, throwing his head back. The heat Phoenix radiated from all over his body combined with the tightness around his erection was almost too much for the guitarist. He urged Phoenix on, almost completely lifting him off again, and allowing the bassist to push down- which he did a little too aggressively.

"Brad!" Phoenix gasped, a little pain shooting through him.

"Shhh... slowly, baby, we'll go slowly..." Brad whispered, kissing Phoenix's cheek softly.

"Yeah..." Phoenix whispered, and lifted up then slammed down again hard, his shriek of pain and overwhelming pleasure echoing loudly around the almost-dark room. Brad moaned loudly, almost not believing how much pleasure he was feeling. Phoenix began rocking up and down on him, torturously slowly, tightness enveloping him perfectly. Brad stroked his back, hips and thighs gently.

"That's it, baby... nice and slow... just feel."

Phoenix nodded slowly, rocking his hips a little harder, but not increasing the speed at all. Brad moaned the bassist's name ever so softly, making him look up.

"Can you feel?" Brad asked softly.

Phoenix bit his lip. "I... I don't know... harder..."

At Phoenix's words, Brad immediately slammed his hips upwards, groaning loudly when Phoenix's opening tightened around him almost unbearably.

"Oh, Brad! Right there!" Phoenix managed to moan out, bouncing on Brad's lap, grinding forcefully on every downstroke. Brad was stunned, and could only hold onto the bassist's hips and gasp for breath. Phoenix was completely in control of the speed and force, and it made Brad dizzy to watch him. His head was thrown back in abandon, eyes squeezed shut and mouth open. A constant stream of praises, curses and Brad's name tumbled from his lips- adding fuel to the raging fire inside them both.

Brad gasped for breath. "Can you feel?"

"YES! Yes yes yes yes yesss..." Phoenix moaned, getting louder with every word. Brad could sense he was very close.

"Phe... let me..." Brad motioned that he wanted to flip them over. Phoenix just nodded through the haze of passion and muttered an affirmation. Brad lifted Phoenix completely off him, catching the bassist's moan of disappointment with a soft kiss. He layed Phoenix down underneath him, cradling the back of his head gently until it hit the pillow- just that simple gesture making Phoenix tingle with affection. As soon as Brad was on top of him, Phoenix wrapped his long legs around Brad's slim waist and bucked his hips upwards.

"Please?" he whispered. Brad reached down and guided himself to Phoenix's entrance, and slid in with one smooth stroke, making the bassist whine in pleasure. Knowing Phoenix was more than ready, Brad pulled his hips backwards and drove forward, the pleasure shooting through him fogging his mind and blocking out Phoenix's loud whimper of pleasure. The bassist groaned and arched his back, effectively pulling Brad deeper so his erection hit his prostate head on repeatedly. After several thrusts, Phoenix felt the familiar tingling in the pit of his stomach.

"Brad! Oh... Jesus, BRAD! I'm so close..."

"Me... uh... me too..." Brad grunted, sliding one hand under Phoenix and around his waist, tipping his hips up further. He slid the other hand down Phoenix's front to grip his rock hard erection.

"BRAD!" Phoenix cried, "Oh... oh God... I can feel you... oh God, Brad it's so good..."

"Phoenix... come on, baby... come for me..." Brad panted, stroking the bassist's erection rapidly. Phoenix felt his last tiny shred of control wither away with Brad's words and he screamed, reached up to grab a fistful of Brad's silky brown hair, and came all over Brad's hand and both their stomachs. Brad gasped and his eyes widened as he felt Phoenix's muscles squeeze around his erection- the contractions hurling him into his orgasm hard.

"Phoenix! Oh, FUCK! I love you so much!" he half screamed, half panted.

Brad collapsed on top of the bassist, almost hyperventilating as he tried to get his breath back. Phoenix wearily ran his hands down Brad's back, massaging his muscles, sore from overuse. Several minutes later, the bassist finally got the energy to speak.

"Brad?"

"Mmm?"

"I love you, too."

Brad stiffened for a few seconds, then raised his head, a smile plastered across his face.

Phoenix smiled back, eyes sparkling with pleasure and love.

Brad felt tears coursing down his own cheeks at the site of such a beautiful smile- one he hadn't seen in a long time.

~

Late the next morning, Brad and Phoenix were pottering around the kitchen, haphazardly throwing a cooked breakfast together. Every now and then, one of them would look up and smile at the back of the other's head, pure bliss painted across his face.

They were thrown from their peaceful state by the front door flying open and Chester running in with Joe glued to his back, Mike hot on their heels- and Rob on his.

"How did it go?!" Rob.

"What happened?!" Mike.

"Did you fix him, Braddles?" Joe.

"Oh my Lord!" Chester. "Is he... Phoenix are you smiling?"

The singer asked incredulously, stopping suddenly. Joe ran into his back, making the singer jolt forward. Mike ran into him heavily and Rob, at the rear, crashed into Mike. With the final impact, they all went flying forward. Chester hit the table with Joe still on his back- and cussed loudly. Mike fell to his knees behind him and thunked his head on the DJ's rear end. Rob managed to stay upright, but still look rather spread- eagled. They all seemed unfazed by the tumble, only caring about the welfare of their friend.

Brad stared, only just managing to keep his grip on the plate of bacon in his hand. His eyes were wide, dancing with mirth and his lips were pressed together to keep from laughing. The four men behind the table had their worried eyes glued on Phoenix, who had a jar of honey in one hand and a bowl of pancake mix in the other.

"Oh. My. God." the bassist said softly. "That was the funniest thing I have ever seen!"

He doubled over laughing, drizzling honey all over his hand. His loud laughter filled the kitchen, closely followed by Brad's.

Rob, Mike, Joe and Chester all stared as Brad placed the plate of bacon down and turned to his, now, lover. He took the honey and bowl away from him and set it down as Phoenix buried his face in Brad's neck and continued to giggle his head off. Brad kissed the top of his shaved head and looked over at his four friends, who were all staring, completely amazed at their friend's behaviour.

"To answer your questions: it went great, I'm not telling you what happened, yes I fixed him and yes- obviously- he is smiling."

Chester, Joe, Mike and Rob all collapsed on each other, groaning in exasperation and scolding the pair for making them worry.