Disclaimer: I don’t own Linkin Park… don’t sue!

Description: Written by EmBeR. *High School Fic* Chester Benningtion seems like an average teenager but he has a dark secret. He has Anxiety Disorder and it’s really starting to affect the way he lives. Just when he feels like giving up, he meets a guy named Mike who truly seems to understand what Chester is going through but he can’t seem to get Chester to believe in living. Will Mike be able to help Chester heal? Or will Chester throw it all away?

A/N: I know I usually do joint fics with Meg but “Anxiety” really means a lot to me ‘cause it’s based on my personal story so I really hope you enjoy it! =)

"Anxiety"

"Prologue"

Chester's P.O.V.

“I feel awful,” I thought to myself as I leaned over the toilet bowl. I was feeling really sick today but honestly, the feeling isn’t new to me. I get panic attacks all the time.

First, I should explain what I mean. My name’s Chester Bennington. I guess you could just call me an average fifteen-year-old guy. But then again, I’m really not. I’m kind of messed up. Fuck that. I’m totally messed up. You see, I was diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder when I was about twelve but before that, I really didn’t know what was going on with me. I would suddenly become really nervous and really nauseous around people and I didn’t know why. Doctors were baffled but it isn’t their fault. They’re not shrinks, their job is to diagnose physical illness, not mental illness.

Eventually, I realized what was happening. I was getting sick ‘cause I was afraid of getting sick. Sounds ridiculous huh? Everyone else certainly thought so. But to me however, it was very real. Why? Well, I was the one suffering duh, but people didn’t seem to get the gist of that. I tried to tell my friends what was going on but they just kind of laughed at me. They though I was joking or something so I didn’t push it and my mom thought all of this was just a “cry for attention”. Cry for attention my ass. I swear…

I’ve tried to heal before but the whole process has been really hard. Sometimes I’m good but sometimes I’m running to the bathroom to go throw up. I’ve done it so many times I’m getting really tired of it. I’ve done it at social events, at home, even at school. I just can’t stop panicking. It’s escalated to pretty high levels too. I’ve developed agoraphobia (fear of going outside) over the years and it’s not getting that much better. I just can’t stop losing control but that’s another fear… losing control.

I’m going to start my sophomore year tomorrow and I have no idea what’s going to happen, I’ll just have to see. That’s what I’ve been doing for the past three years, waiting and seeing. But honestly, I can’t keep waiting. I don’t want to think anymore, I want to know.

I don’t know what’s left to say besides the fact that it hurts.

But then again, that goes without saying.

There is one thing I do know however. I will come back on top; it’ll happen someday, someday I’ll be what I want to be.

Someday…

A/N: Okay I’m sorry about the short and sucky prologue, I just wanted to introduce how Chester feels before I get into how this disorder is truly affecting his life and how it’s making him so depressed and what not. So did you guys like it? I really hope you did. Please R/R, I’ll be glad to hear from you!