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Snapshots of Grief by lpfan503

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From: sheena0929

Date: 2017-11-07

Chapter: ?

I know it's inappropriate and highly intrusive, but sometimes, when the pain becomes too much, I want to see how Mike is REALLY doing behind the interviews, the shows and the social media posts just so I can have something to comfort me in that moment that I am not alone.


You've captured this so well in the latest chapter and frankly, I didn't want it to end. It was so heartbreaking yet at the same time, it felt, at least for me that there is progress into full acceptance and in moving on. That show at the Hollywood Bowl really allowed us to take a peek at how the guys are coping with everything and even if it may not be what happened, the emotions you illustrated were so heartfelt.

From: Ritz

Date: 2017-11-07

Chapter: ?

This is soooo heartbreaking. The Looking For An Answer song then the interviews. My Bennoda heart can only take so much.

From: Ritz

Date: 2017-11-07

Chapter: ?

Review for Looking For An Answer:


As I have said in my previous review, Mike has a very strong personality. When he tweeted about the tribute concert and said we'd cry together, I am positive that we would not see Mike cry. And the first few parts of the concerts showed us a Mike that got it together. A Mike that is handling his grief well. Until the Looking For An Answer part. We might not have seen him cry but he shared a part of him with us. I have told Sheena (she's reading and reviewing this, too) that finally, we can stop wondering how Mike feels. We can now stop telling ourselves that maybe the feelings of FanFic Mike on the recent LP Fiction story was real. Real Life Mike showed us how broken he was and it broke us, too.


Thank you for this wonderful story about how he came up with the song. On how he was able to handle singing it for everyone.

From: Ritz

Date: 2017-11-07

Chapter: ?

Review for Before and After:


Hello! I am sorry that I am really bad in leaving reviews. I am updated with your story, and I only find the time to sit down and type a review now. I usually check LP Fiction on my phone between meetings and work.


When I learned about what happened to Chester, I focused on my grief first. Then, maybe after a day or two, I suddenly thought of Mike. I wonder how he was holding up. Mike has a very strong personality. So, I really love how you wrote this. Mike being strong but also showing his soft side. Very well written.

From: ALifeForMusic

Date: 2017-11-07

Chapter: ?

Fuck this is so beautiful. And even more heart-wrenching because it is so realistic.

I love it and at the same time it's painful to read...

I never thought of Mike wanting to follow him, and I'm so glad that I can't imagine him doing that in real life.

I really do hope that in real life he's happy with his family,and with Anna. I can't imagine what it's like to lose your best friend like this.

Anyway, this is brilliantly written, as always. Can't wait for more from you ♥

From: Penelope_Ink

Date: 2017-11-06

Chapter: ?

Ugh, it's heartbreaking. Beautifully written, of course, but heartbreaking. That bit in the interview about spending more time with Chester than anyone else...man. That hit me so hard. I think it hit all of us so hard, especially us Bennoda girls.


But anyway. I'm glad you've continued this as you have. Writing is healing, and I know so many of us are doing our healing right here on this site. *hugs*


The idea of (in real life) Mike "following" Chester never really entered my mind. However, my thoughts have always gone the other way. If it would have been Mike who did it...I don't think Chester would have been able to handle it. And then we would have lost them both. I truly believe that.


But that's not how it went. And this review just got really depressing. I'm sorry.


Okay..so poor Mike. I mean, faking happiness sucks. Been there. Done that. Not a way to live. I can only assume this story will continue...so here's my questions...will he and Anna ever have "the talk"? And what if he does break down and come out and just admit to everything at some random interview? I could so see that happening. Especially now, you know?


This story messes with my head.


Don't stop :)

From: xX_LP4Life_05_Xx

Date: 2017-11-06

Chapter: ?

Are we thinking on like the same wavelength? Because i swear this sounds so surreal. I just about cried again. Your words are just so captivating. And in all honesty, when i heard his song on that live stream, and i just sat and replayed it, it honestly sounded like he lost more than just a band mate. More than just a brother. It genuinely sounded like he was singing to a lost lover. I guess it was just how deep the lyrics hit me. And i saw the bracelet. The bracelet that they both had that was identical. He was wearing Chester's bracelet. Seeing that honestly broke my heart.


And honestly? I was concerned with that fact that after Chester's death, we may were gonna lose another. I don't put it passed anything that Mike may have thought of a way out too. He was utterly devastated. And looking at his pictures now, you can see the loss in his eyes. You can see the forced smile.... It truly hurts to see that with him... I don't think we'll ever see that truly famous Shinoda grin anymore. The light that brought that out is up in the sky looking over us all.


I am sorry for the long review, it's just this story has really touched me. I love how you have continued with this. <3

From: sheena0929

Date: 2017-11-04

Chapter: ?

So um, we could post multiple reviews right? 'Cause I just read 2 again and remembering Mike's performance of Looking for an Answer broke my heart all over again and I'm here lying in my room crying again as if hearing the song for the first time in my head. Almost 4 months after, the pain still feels fresh.


I still am trying to grip the fact that Chester being gone is now the reality we are in.

From: Penelope_Ink

Date: 2017-11-01

Chapter: ?

The concert was hard for us all, but very needed. Watching Mike that night....it ripped my heart out. But he did it, and I thank you for these two chapters, hard as they are to read. The words in that song, my goodness. Could we say anything more? Or add anything to what Mike already wrote? Talk about raw Shinoda, and he was so brave to share that piece of his heart with all of us.


This was beautifully written, as always *hugs*


I love that Mike had Chester's bracelets on for the concert. Maybe for always.

From: Taytay

Date: 2017-10-31

Chapter: ?

This was beautifully tragically written. It made me so sad and made me cry to think what Mike had been going through when he wrote the song. Great job!

From: sheena0929

Date: 2017-10-31

Chapter: ?

Oh thank God I held out on posting what I've written because this is SOOOOO GOOOOOODDDDDD!!


Although it's just a 4 minute song, it spoke volumes about how Mike truly feels about Chester. I can't imagine how Mike got through writing it when just listening to it is so damn hard already.

From: Aliina

Date: 2017-10-30

Chapter: ?

Hard to read but very beautiful written and "worded" ( sorry English is not my native language)

Like many ( if not all) I watched the memorial in Europe at an extremely early hour. A rollercoaster of emotions going through me. Getting "goosbumps" with several songs. tears in my eyes with Mike´s new song. raw emotion.

From: xX_LP4Life_05_Xx

Date: 2017-10-30

Chapter: ?

I was honestly thinking of writing a standalone about this. And you took the words right out of my head. When i first heard him sing, the lyrics sounded so deep to me. Almost as if he were speaking to just more than a friend or brother or bandmate. It sounded like he was speaking to a lost lover. And i was surprised you mentioned the bracelet... i saw it on him during one of the performances and remembered that Chester wore one just like it. He loved him deeply. A love we will never understand or begin to comprehend. This honestly just broke me down a little more. And the fact that Mike even mentioned that he wrote this only 8 days after, it's truly heartbreaking. But thank you for this. Truly amazing.

From: derekbrad

Date: 2017-10-22

Chapter: ?

This was so hard to read! I loved it but! It's been such an emotional year for all us Linkin Park and Bennoda fans:(

The origami part and just everything about what Mike remembered Chester with teared me up. :(

From: sheena0929

Date: 2017-10-22

Chapter: ?

This was a struggle to read especially when you're eating a 'jolly spaghetti'. (Filipino fans should know lol)


There's a certain poignancy about how Mike's feelings were illustrated in this and I really appreciated you ending it positively. I don't think we're all ever going to be ready for Friday next week, but knowing this amazing community will be there, we should all be able to get through it together. ❤

From: Penelope_Ink

Date: 2017-10-22

Chapter: ?

This is beautiful. I'm rarely speechless, but this is one of those times. I've thought about a scene like this...trying to imagine what it must be like for them now that things are different. You've captured something amazing here. Thank you for sharing this. Then ending...I'm choked up.

From: squashie

Date: 2017-10-22

Chapter: ?

Hnnngh. Yep. There go the waterworks again. :'(


That was amazing and beautiful and my heart is in shreds. Whenever they appear on social media these days my brain goes to these places, wondering what they're thinking, how they're feeling, what it's like to cope with grief in the public eye.


This was perfect. Thank you for writing it. I would love to read more of your writing.

From: ALifeForMusic

Date: 2017-10-22

Chapter: ?

Oh fuck, this is heartbreaking. And so emotional and well-written. Thank you for this!

From: xX_LP4Life_05_Xx

Date: 2017-10-21

Chapter: ?

This was honestly very beautiful and just about brought me to tears. Very well written. Thank you for this.

Reviews 41 to 59 of 59