Oh today was the day that I was dreading! Can we just remove July 20th from the book of our lives? For some reason the first thing I wanted to do today was go back to this story. I have read this final chapter some days ago but just couldn't find the right words to leave a review. I didn't want it to end because this was the first story that I read from you and made me fall in love with your writing.

I really really like the way it ends though, it give us all hope I guess. Hope that he is in a better place now and hope for the other guys. I truly wish that they can continue doing music. Even if they decide to not continue with the band as the way it was before, it would be truly sad if all that talent goes to waste.

Anna appearing at the ending scene was truly beautiful, to show Mike he is not alone and that she will be with him no matter what, Mike keeping all those little memories of Chester in the drawer, and the fact that he still speaks to him when he's alone and missing him, just awww. AND even though he decided to move on, he understands he will never be able to forget him. I will miss this fic so much but I'm glad it had such a beautiful ending.

I'm kinda glad this is done cos it was almost too much to read... Especially this last one..It was truly fantastic. I often have to remove myself that these chapters aren't really what is happening in real life.

This last chapter was really beautiful. I had a like a mini panic attack when I read the part about moving on..I guess it's the way things go though.. But it was so beautiful. To be loved like that, to have a partnership like that is a truly wonderful thing

This was so heartwrenching and beautiful. Had me with damp eyes in many parts. I can't help but worry about Mike as well. I keep wondering if he's trying to escape reality by throwing himself head first in his art and music, and the interviews and shows and million things he's got going on and eventually will snap. But on the other hand, I believe he just has to do it this way. He has to keep working. Has to have million projects going on. It's in his nature, and he probably would be worse off not doing it this way. And I'm almost sure he'll eventually lead Linkin Park forward in some capacity, even if we have to wait some time. Anyway, thank you for sharing this. Your writing is so very moving and poeting and beautiful. It was quite an emotional ride. And what a beautiful, hopeful ending. Loved it.

That was a a really, really nice "ending". I obviously hope that the story will go on for Mike in real life (actually I'm quite sure it will). But as a last moment of the story you captures everything so good! The need to still talk to Chester, the need to share things. But also this really hopeful looking into the future. Yes, there are obstacles and fears (regarding LP, regarding the wellbeing of the other guys, regarding his own music, regarding cooping) but there is also a road that will lead somewhere.

And a big hug for including Anna in the end and letting it not end with Mike being alone but being loved and cared about <3

The next week will be really hard for many of us. I also don't know how to deal with it yet, if I should take a day off, if I should distract myself, meeting someone... I hope that I will know when the day comes closer. What I actually wanted to say with that: please take care of yourself (even more than usual), reach out if needed and stay safe (everyone!)

Beautiful as always. Sad and heart-wrenching and yet so poetic. This is a wonderful collection of chapters. It really is. Some of them are gutting to read, not only because of the subject matter, but of how you word things just right. I love the idea of Mike talking to Chester still. I really do. And like the Mike in this story, I have to believe that wherever Chester is, he's okay now. He just has to be.

The surprise of Anna showing up at the end, in tears and concerned really hit me. I hope in RL, Mike is doing as well as he says he is. I can't stand the thought of him suffering anymore than he already has.

The little imperfect pink crane was a nice touch. And Mike keeping all of Chester's stuff in the drawer of his desk, I can totally see that as something he would do.

I really liked his comment about Rob. I think that one hit me the most out of all his little spiels about how the guys are doing.

Thank you so much for sharing this. For letting us in on your grieving fic. *hugs* I think you made the right choice on how to end it.

Many times I was asking myself - will this ever stop? The pain I feel when I think about this loss, will it ever even stop, or will it just hurt like this forever? It's been so long. But it still feels so fresh...

But I think we just need to keep going. The time is the only thing that helps in such situations. I've been there before - I've lost a person important to me. And I know that time really does help. It's not easy, and it never disappears completely, but as long as you don't give up and focus on the good memories you made together, the pain will slowly fade away. And I just pray every day that Mike, Rob, Joe, Dave and Brad will remember this, and Talinda too, and all of their children.

The whole "Snapshots of grief" series seems so incredibly realistic. It makes me wonder if you've ever lost any loved one. Cause to me, it seems like you see directly into Mike's head. I don't believe that he's as okay as he claims to be. But I believe that he 'feels okay' most of the time and he manages to keep going, in spite the pain. And this is something that I admire about him. Thank you for this chapter, it makes me super emotional, but that's not a bad thing. It's beautiful work.

So sad yet beautiful chapter. I also wonder if all of this publicity and new stuff from Mike is just some form of denial, hopefully not. I really wish he is actually coping with his friend's passing appropriately.

There have been a lot of reactions in regards to Mike touring solo, even people mentioning that he is taking advantage of Chester's passing, or that this is the end of LP. People can say so many mean things without regards to other's feelings.

But back to the chapter, it really got to me the little bit with the necklace, the shoes and Mike thinking about last year's touring plans with Chester, I can perfectly picture this happening in real life. You keep breaking my heart every time you update this fic, that speaks wonders about the way you write. Keep going!

Uh, you know how I feel about these. They're so vivid and real and heartbreaking, and yet beautiful. Mike suddenly losing it while making tour plans, I can feel it. I can see it. I can imagine it happening just that way. And of course the thought of shoes - the debate of which shoes to wear - how could that not summon thoughts of Chester? *cries* of course it would! And the line....I should have copied it to paste here, but didn't....the line about how just a year ago they were sitting together on the balcony watching the moon rise making tour plans. Right to my tender little heart. I could see it. We all love Mike so much, and when I think about things like this happening in real life, I ache his pain. And the necklace...I wouldn't doubt at all that his necklace (in real life) is something for Chester.

Despite the punch to the heart, thank you so much for posting these.

Fuuuuuuuuck. I've caught up on these now. They are amazing, unsurprisingly. I'm feeling more in control of my Chester grief at the moment. Still struggle with these, but wow. You really are inside Mike's head. It's a testament to how much of himself he shares with us, I think, that you're able to understand him to a point where you're basically predicting things that he goes on to mention in interviews.

It's just... wow. Fuck. I don't really have words, but I'm glad I was feeling up to reading these today, because they truly are amazing.

Have I told you recently that you need to write a book and get published? Because you do. Your writing is amazing.

I read this story on his birthday and I think it reflects really well what many of us went trough. I wanted to feel happy and I really tried, but there were hours on that day were it simply wasn't possible. Sadness came and wouldn't leave for a while. Your chapter reflects on how grief works, compromised in the setting of one day and I think you were able to put it really nicely into words.

My favourite sentence: "if only you had know how it would all unfold." It's good that we don't know, because it forces us to fight for our happiness and the ones we love <3

This story is so hard to read sometimes, even though is magnificent and beautifully written. You have a way with your words that goes straight to my heart. And yesterday I can say I was heartbroken. Because you are right, this will be a new year he will never get to see.

I must tell you that on these special dates I always find myself looking for your updates on this fic, and you never disappoint.

I was so sad yesterday, but then I went online and saw your update and also Mike's tweets with that beautiful picture of him with Anna and Talinda. I am so proud of them, Mike is my role model. He is amazing and Anna is such a lucky woman.

I loved that chapter. Even though it was incredibly sad, it was beautiful. So well emotionally handled. That part when Mike thought about how the next year he will enter the year Chester had never seen. Next year, Mike will be older than Chester. Older than his older friend. When this crossed my mind, I started to cry a little. It makes me stunned how painful it still is to think about Chester. It's been eight months. Will it ever be entirely okay? Will the want to cry ever disappear competely?

My favorite line: Loved him? No, loves. There is no past-tense when it comes to love for Chester, yours or otherwise. Love is only in the present.

So freakin' powerful. And true!

This was hard to read, as always, but also so beautifully sculpted. I love the way you use words. I love how you flow them together, even in sad pieces like this....maybe even more in sad pieces like this...

But there's hope in this and I think that rings true in reality. With everything Mike/Anna/Jim/Talinda are doing, it helps. It's all positive moves and progress and even though we don't see all the messy stuff in their personal lives as they miss Chester in ways we will never understand, I'm so thankful they care enough for us to do what they're doing publically.

Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you decided to post this.

*jealous of Anna getting a walk on the beach while eating ice cream and then going to Disney Land all with Mike*

Hey there, I got your note from AO3, which I left a reply to :D

And to your comment you left here, I do wholeheartedly agree that we can do both things - celebrate and miss him. I suppose it goes hand-in-hand. I guess it’s a little strange for me because I’ve never lost somebody like Chester before. It’s a strange time for me, especially weirder since I actually became a proper fan (is there even such a thing?) when he passed. It’s all messed up. But enough about that. I'm sorry for rambling. That's not why I wanted to write this note.

I wanted to tell you how much your latest update struck a chord in me, the biggest impact out of all the chapters written. I’m not sure why. But regardless, it’s a very beautiful, heart wrenching, and poignant read. Thank you for this. I really love this. :)

God these are so sad, but I love them. The last one tore me to pieces

Thanks so much for this update. Very hard to read but beautifully written. Is it really difficult to move forward when something like this happens, and the healing process is really slow but they will get there eventually. IRL, I really really wish the band stay together and continues making good music, just the 5 of them, I know they will never replace Chester, it's impossible.

That was awesome. Hurting and healing and awesome. You picked up on many things that I had in my mind, especially about the things other people write and how they (re)act on social media.

The thought that Mike was speaking to Chester about his songs and that he kind of sees him in the sunlight is just wonderful. I hope he knows irl that he will, ever be there, in one or another way <3

These are SO hard to read. They really are. I think it's because you write them so well. Damn you. And I mean that as a friend and fellow misser of Chester. I feel for Mike..and the Mike in your story, the moment he started talking to "Chester" and "Chester" started talking back, my heart just pinched. And not only was Chester talking back, but he was encouraging Mike! I mean, way to be, Ches. So many subconscious/broken heart things going on there. The way you wrote it, you could feel his desperation, and it took that little Chester push to get him to move forward. Very well done.

I wonder if you will ever continue with this story? Even though is so sad, is the closest fic to reality at this very moment and so beautifully written.. I know must be really hard to write a story like this one. I came across Mike's interview in Kerrang and the first thing that crossed my mind was this fic. Just wanted to leave you a few words since you're one of my favourites writers.

Ok, I’m smile-crying right now... that was wonderful. It reflects on the emptiness and sadness as well as on the part of remembering someone and that is so so so important. I guess we all hope that 2018 is a better year than the last one and especially the guys deserve it. Your story is beautiful and I can just hope that they will have an evening like that in real live ;) oh, and thanks for picking up the livestream-thing, it really screwed my mind up for a few days and I was happy to read that you had some kind of the same thoughts than I had!

Have a great new year and thanks for your stories so far!