Closer by vei

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From: Kami

Email: icefire_princess_kamiya@yahoo.com

Date: 2007-11-28

Chapter: 1

Okay, so it takes a lot for me to favorite a story. If I favorited every one that entertained me or that I liked....I'd have thousands by now. So I don't favorite often, hardly at all really. Something's got to be extraordinary. And this?? This is. Really and truly is.

That said, this is going to be a long review, so hold on tight and bear with me.

The thing that intrigued me first, as your stories always seem to do, was the summary. To be quite honest, it takes a lot, something really powerful, to get me to read a fic without a couple, simply because I have enough gen in my life as it is; I don't need it in fiction as well. But this really...something struck me and made me say "hey, wait, this looks pretty good." so I clicked, and I read, and just...whoa. I mean it.

The way it starts with a look into the past kinda reels you in and hooks you, makes you wonder where exactly this is going. Then it goes from something intriguing to just how mundane life has gotten for them all on break, the way life seems to be mundane for your average teenager.

The news broadcast had me hooked. It was good the way you went about it, because it leaves the reader guessing for a while what exactly is going on. Then there's the comment that's made, I assume, as a means of foreshadowing: "If it was any bad, Linkin Park would have to issue an announcement. It wasn't his particular problem though. So..."

And then the world comes crumbling down...

The way Chester keeps going back in his head to when the word was first written keeps the story moving along steadily, but at the same time reminds you what the point really is, what the focus is supposed to be. I like that, a lot.

The comment about how the cafeteria still smelled of food, and the way that they overstep the body outlines is kind of a cold reminder of it all, of the depth and severity of it.

I think the part that struck me, stayed with me the most, was the realization, first from Chester, and again later from Mike, that it could have been them. The wish that it had been their old tormenters from when they were in high school lying there instead of some other kid. There's that thankfulness that no, it didn't come to that from them, but then the shock that it could have, had they thought about it. They went through the same things these kids did, the same realizations, the same torment, essentially, only these four decided to take it a step further and do something about it.

A movie did this to me once. I don't know if you've seen it. It's basically an indie flick, brought to life by some amazing actors and Showtime, called Bang Bang You're Dead. I don't cry in movies. I don't cry with TV shows. I don't cry in books, or stories. It takes quite a bit to get me to cry in daily life. But this movie made me sob, because for the first time, I sat back and looked at my freshmen year at school and said "Holy shit, this could have been me. If I had thought about it, if it had been on my mind, if I hadn't been so scared, if, if, if...it could have been me."

This story brought back that same feeling. I get where Chester and Mike are coming from here, I really do. I don't know if you intended to leave a lasting impression with that, that anyone could have pulled this off, but you did. Kudos to you!! Being in this position, knowing what the torment is like, even as a high school senior like myself...it's hard, but then it's so painfully easy to imagine it being any of the kids at your school, kids who do these things to you without a second thought, being the ones lying there instead, and it hits you, hard, to realize that.

The finishing, the closeness of them remembering they're not alone anymore, it's good. It does the whole story justice by giving it a good ending.

You did think of something I hadn't even thought of before, and that's the streaming media. Just...wow. It's original. Haunting, but original.

I also like how you approached the shooting itself. I've seen this idea in many fandoms, from many authors/authoresses, and some are well written, but in the end, the shooting scenario doesn't leave that haunting feeling, doesn't linger with you the same way you managed to pull it off. I realized it's because you didn't give statistics about it. You didn't list the body count, you didn't describe details of the event, you stuck with a few smaller details, and one larger detail, of the aftermath. Nothing huge, nothing the news would have listed off in a stone-faced broadcast. You went with things that could stick with the reader and make them feel like they were there. Amazing job. ^_^

*Deep breath...let it out*

So yea, you basically rock. Amazing, amazing work. I am really and truly in love with this.


-Kami (Sorry for the rant ^_^;;;)

From: dark_red


Date: 2007-07-25

Chapter: 1

I've put off commenting on this because there's way too much I want to say about it (yeah, talk about nonsensical reasoning). I haven't had a chance to reread it yet and am going purely on memory, so apologies for any inaccuracies.

The concept is what interests me the most, this ongoing debate about whether music and the musicians who create it can be indirectly blamed when devotees of their work commit a crime and cites their lyrics at the scene. Most notable is the Columbine shooting, when Marilyn Manson was scrutinized for essentially writing lyrics that influenced the killers to do what they did. I remember wondering then how the artists themselves react in such a situation. It must be pretty surreal to know that your work touches people all over the world and that it helps them through hard times. But it's a completely different experience to learn one of your fans was disturbed enough to take innocent lives AND tag the crime scene with your words.

I *loved* this idea because Mike and Chester's perspective is, in a way, SO much more complicated than I would have expected. When it happened with Manson, I sat there thinking, Of course he doesn't blame himself, he probably hasn't given a second thought to the role his lyrics played in the shootings. But when it's something so horrific, when so many lives are taken unexpectedly and violently, Mike and Chester second guess themselves. They go back and try to figure out where those stupid lyrics came from in the first place (Chester continuously alluding to Mike's notebook was a great image that stuck in my mind) and furthermore, how they got from scribbled words on a page to words written in cold blood on the wall of a school. It totally changed my perspective on it. While the musicians don't have a direct connection to each one of their fans, they are connected through the lyrics, and it made me think, Well fuck, how can they NOT feel guilt and doubt and anger and everything in between? It reminded me of Brad saying countless times how you can control the music you make but not how people perceive it - everyone interprets the words differently, obviously, and despite the fact that Mike and Chester didn't commit any part of the crime, they can't help feeling that their lyrics fueled the kids' anger or gave them the idea to do it or influenced them to put their plan into action in SOME way.

Then there's the other horrifying occurrence, that of Mike and Chester identifying with the killers. It almost makes sense, in a way. The vocalists write their lyrics largely out of anger and pain and alienation, etc. The killers (or school shooters in general) must have had those same feelings towards the peers they killed, and when Mike thinks, Fuck, I got beat up in school and yeah, I wanted those guys dead, you don't necessarily hate him or think he's a bad person. It's such a natural, honest reaction, and though they don't know what to make of it and it makes them sick in the end, it's beautiful, really, to get to the core of a character like that and see all their raw emotions.

"Chester's not sure how good Mike really is at handling truly bad things that happen for real. He hasn't had much of those in his life after all." --- I love this line, as well as the handful of others like it. You always drop these seemingly lightweight sentences that carry so much more meaning than their length implies. If that makes sense. It says a lot about Mike and a lot about Chester and a lot about how Chester perceives Mike. You do these lines well, sentences that could practically spin off into their own story.

As always, thank you for writing and posting this. So much of the news is what the killer was thinking, what the victims were thinking, and who to blame - your take on it, through the eyes of the musicians, is fresh and insightful. Kudos.

From: Joan of Arc


Date: 2007-07-25

Chapter: 1

Very well written and powerful, was almost like walking through the place behind them :) Great job!

From: Doodle


Date: 2007-07-25

Chapter: 1


From: Lee (logged out)


Date: 2007-07-24

Chapter: 1

Damn, man, that was good. I really liked how you structured the beginning, its like you were going back with Chester through time and then you're snapped back to reality in almost the same way, as he you weren't reading but witnessing it firsthand as well. I liked the honesty in this, that Chaz and Mike were able to say they could have been in that position, killing people, because of the torment in their past. This was one of the better stories I've read lately, so thank you. :)

From: crazypuglady


Date: 2007-07-24

Chapter: 1

That was...wow. Awesome. I really suck at writing reviews, sorry. But this was amazing.

From: nodabear89

Date: 2007-07-24

Chapter: 1

holy shit, that was amazing


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