Category Linkin Park

Saying Goodbye by Ice Queen


Disclaimer: I own the tears. I would like them back in good condition at the end of this fic.

I’ve been so caught up with all my slash fics lately, that I haven’t taken the time to stop and live up to the name I was so rightfully given. Of course that would be the Ice Queen. So here it is, a small reminder of why the Ice Queen got her name.

Oh yes, and don’t forget your tissues, I don’t like cleaning up the pools of tears after you all are done reading. It takes away from my writing time.


You always see it on the news. drunk drivers causing horrific car accidents, claiming innocent peoples lives. You always hear about it, see it even, but you never think of it happening to you, not in this manner. I’ve always felt like I’ve lived my life in a protective bubble, where no one can hurt me or the people I love. A few hours ago, all that was shattered.

I look at my other four band mates that are sitting around the room, most of them covered in scrapes and stitches, their eyes glued to the television as they watch the breaking news coverage.

I feel tears stinging at the corners of my eyes as I to watch the news, seeing a birds eye view of our tour bus wrapped around a bridge pillar, rescue crews surrounding it and paramedics climbing in and out of it, trying to provide aide to the last person remaining tangled up in the wreckage.

None of this was supposed to happen. it was supposed to be a normal drive from one venue to another. We've done it a hundred times before with no real big problems. The only exception for this venue is that it's in Chester’s hometown. He was so excited about seeing his dad and old friends again, ecstatic that he was going to get to play a show for them.

A loud sob escapes my throat as I think about him lying in the bus right now, scared and in pain. He should be sitting here with us, watching everything from a hospital room, not lying in a heap of metal, crying out in pain. Luckily he has his father with him, but that doesn't change the pain the five of us are feeling from having to watch it all on the news, not knowing whether he's okay, or even alive.

I feel a bandaged hand on my shoulder, and look up to see brad standing in front of me, tears brimming his eyes as I pull him close to me and cry loudly into his hospital gown. I feel more hands resting on my shoulders and back as the rest of the guys try to comfort me, and I can hear their muffled sobs as well.

"You know Chester’s a fighter. You know he won't leave any of us without a strong fight."

My grip on Brad's hospital gown tightens as the nights events play back in my head, seeing one of my best friends lying on the ground, screaming out in pain.

No one ever expected any of this. We were all asleep when the drunk driver crossed over the median and collided into the side of the bus, sending it into a bridge support at a high speed.

I blacked out from the impact the bus made with the bridge column, but when I woke up a few minutes later, the bus was on it's side and the only thing I could hear were the painful screams coming from somewhere near me.

My left arm was badly hurt, nut I managed to use the other as I began crawling around the rubble, trying to see if everyone was alright.

I felt my body going into shock when I lifted a piece of debris out of the way and found Chester laying there with his legs pinned between the pillar and part of the bus. he was crying hysterically from all the pain, and I could see that one of his legs was almost completely severed.

My body froze in it's place as I watched Phoenix crawl over to him and hold his hand, trying to get him to calm down and focus on something other than the pain. When simple words didn’t work, he began communicating in a way he knew Chester would understand... by singing.

Chester’s cries of pain began to somewhat subside as Phi began to do the best he could at singing 'Faint', one of Chester's favorite songs from the album. Soon Chester began to sing with him, his vocals laced with sobs and strangled cries.

Half way through the song, rescue workers started swarming all over the accident scene, helping everyone to get out of the bus and to an ambulance to get checked out.

Chester started screaming again when they pulled Phi and I away from him, and made us leave the bus. I can still hear his painful screaming echoing in my head, and it only makes me cry harder as I clinch onto brad like he's my lifeline, like I’m going to die without him.

"He's going to fight. He's not going to let those rescuers give up on him."

Brad tries to comfort me with his words, but they don’t ease the pain as I think about Chester just lying there.

"Lets lay down, I think some rest will do us all some good."

I allow him to lay me back on the hospital bed I’m sitting on as he pulls a blanket up around me, never making me let go of him as I continue to cry.

Through blurred eyes, I can see Phoenix lying on the other bed in much the same condition as I, with Rob lying next to him with his arms wrapped tightly around the bassist, kissing the top of his head and trying to reassure him that Chester’s a fighter, much like Brad's doing with me.

As I’m about to close my eyes again, I see the door to the hospital room open, and Chester’s wife walks in, their one year old son being held tightly in her arms.

Her face is pale and her cheeks are moist from tears as Joe walks over to her and envelops her in a hug, soon followed by Rob and Brad.

As she looks at Phoenix and I lying here, the tears that seemed to stop before she walked in, start again as Joe takes Draven from her and she walks over to Dave, hugging him tightly before walking over to me and doing the same.

Neither of us say anything as we cry onto each others shoulders and mentally pray that Chester will be alright, that he will walk through that door laughing any minute and all of this will just be one awful dream.

I close my eyes and imagine the good old times when we would play around, act like teenagers, but his laugh quickly turns into a shrill cry, and his happy face is replaced with that of the one I saw on the bus only hours ago.

I cant seem to keep my eyes closed for longer than a few seconds without my mind taking me back to the accident scene, sitting next to Chester and watching Phoenix trying to comfort him.

I cant help but think that hearing him sing on the bus while in all that pain, is the last time I’m going to hear him sing again. I don’t want it to be though. this is one of those times when you just want to go back in time and change everything, because the present seems so surreal, that you cant imagine living it the way it is.

I forget about Sam ever being here in my arms until she pulls away from me, using the pads of her thumbs to wipe away my tears and tell me that Chester’s going to be alright, although none of us know for sure.

I don’t know how she can be so strong. Her family is hanging in the balance right now, and she's the one trying to reassure and comfort me.

"Have you heard anything on his condition?"

She turns and looks at Rob when she talks, and I take this chance to turn over on my side, facing away from everybody.

I gasp in pain when I realize that this is the side that I broke some ribs on, but I try to ignore the pain as I quietly cry to myself, hoping no one will hear me so I can just be alone.

"The last we were told is that he's still conscious, and they got him stable, but they said that doesn’t mean he can't still slip. They don’t think he'll be able to stay conscious through all of this. They have to use cranes and airbags to get the bus off of his legs so they can free his legs."

An echo of loud sobs come from Sam, Phi, and I, and Brad rushes back over to me, grabbing my hand and holding it tightly as I go into another fit of tears.

I kept slipping in and out of consciousness when they got me off the bus, so most of this information is new to me.

Comforting words fill the room as we wait impatiently to hear any sort of news, but it all begins to fade out as the sleeping pills I was given earlier begin to take affect, and I am pulled into the depths of it's darkness.


These are the types of things I think of when I’m sitting in my bed at night, twiddling my fingers and waiting for sleep. More soon to come…..

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