don't own don't sue

song is "no quarter"

Lock all the doors and kill the light.

No one's coming home tonight.

The small and fragile man quickly finishes his late evening caffeine fix before walking through his living room to his front door and locking it. He knows that although he lives in a good neighborhood you can never be too careful.

Alone he walks to the couch and puts on the television.

Alone he sits and watches some cheesy chat show.

Alone, he pretends that everything is really okay.

He would call a friend but his friends are all married or in long-term relationships. He doesn’t want to bother them – he was enough of a burden when his wife left him four months ago. He feels he needs to learn to live alone. He thinks about going out to a club or a bar. He’s attractive, he’s famous, and he’s wanted by millions of people – girls and boys – all over the world. He decides against it. The one person he wants doesn’t want him.

[I]The sun beats down and don't you know?

All our lives are growing cold, oh...[/I]

The once confident and happy-go-lucky man has been reduced to a vegetable. He’s no longer the guy that cheers up someone’s day with just a smile.

He glances out the window. It’s six in the evening and the sun is still shining. Children play outside in their gardens. The man’s insides burn, a pain deep inside that no one else can understand. The one person who could love him unconditionally was taken from him. He feels a strong longing for the past when everything seemed perfect.

He also wants a future with something new – or someone – who he knows he can make happy.

The numbness washes all over him again. The old saying is true – you always want what you can never have.

He looks away from the window and back to the television. He’s really not interested but what else is there to do? A single tear falls down his soft cheek and he makes no effort to brush it away. Effort is no longer a word in his vocabulary.

They bring news that must get through.

To build a dream for me and you, oh

The person that this man has so gradually fallen in love with is someone whom he has always considered to be one of his best friends. He feels sick with himself whenever he thinks about this man who he has found himself craving.

No one has any clue how he feels. They believe his marriage broke up because his wife cheated on him – which she did – but that wasn’t the full extent of it. The truth is that his wife cheated because she needed the attention. He no longer gave her it. He didn’t even realize that all of his attention was focused on his best friend, on making everything perfect for his best friend.

The man joined the band several years ago and from immediately began growing closer to his fellow vocalist. It was inevitable. They spent most days writing lyrics and discussing past experiences. They discovered everything about each other. The man thinks to himself, ‘I took it to far’.

Locked in a place where no one goes.

He’s trapped inside of his own sick mind. He can’t stop the thoughts that plague his head. He wants to be “normal”. Most people think he’s a heterosexual stud. The tabloids have constantly been reporting how this man has been sleeping around – not just with anyone. He’s been linked the most famous and beautiful actresses, singers and models. None of it true. He has spent the last four months wallowing in his own self-hatred.

They ask no quarter

They have no quarter.

Nobody asks him what REALLY happened during his ten-year long, seemingly picturesque marriage. So he doesn’t tell them. No one really knows the half of it.

Ten years ago this man mistook feelings of friendship for pure love. He was aware that the girl was beautiful, kind, strong, and she loved him. He adored her but he was fooling himself all along. As they exchanged vows he knew it was wrong. But he pushed the negative thoughts to the back of his mind and told her he loved her. For the first few years he believed he did. Slowly he began to accept that although yes, he did love her, he wasn’t ‘in love’ with her. She was a friend, not a lover.

Thinking of the day it all finally ended he cringes. He is so ashamed. She screamed at him. She was so angry. Ten years of her life wasted. But she admitted that she too felt in her own mind that things were just too perfect. She loved him. She had wanted it to work so badly.

Upon learning or her husbands sexuality wasn’t what he claimed it to be ten years ago, she left. She admitted to everyone that she cheated. She was made out to be a total slut. She lived through the catty comments and the awful stares because she believed that he estranged husband would soon ‘come out’ and people would understand why she did what she did.

The man hasn’t yet revealed to the people that matter his sexuality. His estranged wife, sick of her new reputation, took their daughter and moved back to her hometown in Texas. She never did like living in LA.

Lock all the door, kill the light

No one's coming home tonight

The man gets up off the couch and goes to the kitchen for a beer. He looks out his back window and realizes it’s getting dark. The dark nights are the worst part of being alone. It brings him back to his awful childhood.

He angrily throws his half-drunk bottle across the room and watches it smash to pieces reminding him of his life. Alcohol drips onto the kitchen tiles. The man breaks down and cries uncontrollably. What happened to him?

He crawls over to where the bottle fell and picks up a shard of glass and carefully digs it into his arm. Something he hasn’t done since he was a teenager. As the tears flow less from his eyes, the blood flows more from his arm. In this moment of weakness the man continues to make scratches not thinking of the obvious marks they’ll leave.

After a few minutes his brain catches up with his actions and he drops the glass before he saws his arm off. He cleans up the mess and goes upstairs. It’s not late but now that he’s alone the days always seem longer. He’ll sleep for a few hours until the shadows creep out and keep him awake.

It's getting colder

Locked in a place where no one goes.

His room is dark. It hasn’t been decorated in three years. She has wanted the room to be “dark and romantic”. He changes into pajama bottoms and looks at his clock – it’s only seven o’clock. He lays his head on the pillow ready to sleep and just as his eyes close the phone rings.

He looks at the name. It’s him. He answers.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asks

“Nothing much. I thought you were coming around today.”

The man knows he was supposed to but he wasn’t about to say that he couldn’t face seeing his best friend because he loves him and that if they’re alone together for to long he will spill out his guts to him.

“Yeah, since the divorce I figured I’d been hanging out at yours too much. You don’t need me cluttering up your house…”

“You idiot! Don’t be so stupid, you’re welcome anytime. Come around tomorrow!”

After a few brief passing comments both men hung up. The lonely man sighs. The nagging feeling of hopelessness remains. He knows it’s unrequited love.

Lock the door, kill the light

No one's coming home tonight

After having slept for a few hours the man reawakens. It’s only half-past nine at night. The depression is still there. He mutters and bad-mouths himself. Is he going crazy? He believes so.

He’s afraid again. He finally decides to call his friend and see if they could watch a movie or something.

With the phone to his ear he hears someone pick up. His stomach tightens as he hears giggling down the line. He says ‘hello?’ a few times but his only reply is more laughing. The man he’s in love with play fighting with his wife. The man whom he loves so much is not and will never be in love with him. He loves his wife. The man hangs up just as he hears his friend scream ‘hello?’ down the line.

They bring news that must get through.

Dying peace in me and you

He can take no more. He is sick of it all. He walks through to the bathroom and takes one of his razorblades. With tears trailing down his face he puts the small, silver instrument to just above his wrist and slowly digs it in deeper and deeper, further and further down his wrist. He is in so much pain but it will be worth it. He feels so much regret, he is so bitter. He is so painfully in love.

Locked in a place where no one goes.

He is locked inside his small bathroom dying. No one will come and no one will find him in time. He is alone. He is alone as always. This loneliness finally consumes him into darkness and the last words to fall from his lips are:

“Mike…”

We have no quarter

We have no quarter

We ask no quarter