Okay I'm reposting this. Please review and let me know what you think. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to updade some of my other stories cos no one seems to give a fuck. I got 20 reviews PER CHAPTER for the begining of Tourniquet and I posted a new chapter and I got like 5 freaking reviews and well over 100 hits. So I have like 2 chapters to go and I might add the last but I won't be adding the epilouge cos there's no point if people don't want to read it. *shrugs* Lots of people have been reading my shit but I don't get many reviews now. Maybe cos it gets pushed to page 3 by day two..I dunno.. Where is everyone anyway!? Conz? Easyier2run? All the oldies seem to have vanished... :( People used to be great at reviewing... Now it's turning into the Mest section or the GC section. 10 new stories a day and now one wants to review.... Okay sorry i'm whining about reviews. I just want to know if its good and you guys want more or you want me to stop posting stories.

oh and I do have another chapter almost finished for and then there was you if anyone is interested check the story out and read up:) If you like this please tell me. Same if you don't. Your don't even have to log in to review. I love you all:)

Chesk out my live journal to /shameless plug its in my profile

Disclaimer: This is fiction. The song Wonderful is owned by Stone Temple Pilots, I use it without permission but I hope Scott will understand. I own no one.

He sat in the front row, hands clasped together as if in prayer. He quietly and politely listened to the priest in front of him talking about a man he didn't even really know. This didn't bother the small sad eyed man, what bothered him was the steady aching in his heart and the overwhelming sense of loss he felt.

What bothered him was that no matter what he said or how hard he cried he was alone. Without his other half. What bothered him was he would never hear his love's laugh again, or see him smile. But it was supposed to bother him wasn't it? It was grief. It was heart break. It was life, and just like life, death was unfair. It was something that frequently seemed to happen to those who deserved it the least.

He heard his name called out and felt the stares of the dozen or so attendees. That bothered him to. It seemed his love should have more people grieving. He stood and scanned the audience of silent 'mourners' and took his place at the podium. He never liked giving speeches, but if he had to he couldn't think of anyone other than his love he would do it for. He cleared his throat and the small group watched with morbid curiosity, waiting for the poor sad lover to say goodbye.

He hated most of them. He looked out at his old friends Brad and Joe. The two men who betrayed him. Once they found out he was gay they practically tore him apart, when they found out who it was with it got worse. He thought that he was free of them but obviously their guilt (or curiosity) got the better of them.

He glanced at the faces of people who probably didn't spend a moment thinking about his Mike's illness till it tore him away from life. He hated them to. So eager for their chance to cry. They didn't feel real pain. They we're like wolves. Now they had a story to tell when they got home. The gay funeral for the cousin/nephew/whatever with cancer. How sad it was. Why lying there in the coffin you couldn't even tell he was a raging faggot!

Then the Shinoda's. He didn't hate them. His soul cried for them. They loved their son. They knew what pain their child went though. They loved him even if he was gay. The man loved them for that. He loved them for not pushing him away, for allowing him to grieve with them.

He realized he had been standing up front for a full two minutes and he hadn’t said a word. Pain did that to you. Made you forget what your supposed to do. He cleared his throat again and spoke.

"My name is Chester. I knew Mike maybe better than anyone." Chester looked around the room, it was for sure he knew him better than any of the bastards sitting in the pews pretending to be choked up. He pushed that out of his mind though and focused on Mike and his parents.

"I-... I loved Mike. Since the day I met him I've loved him. He was the kind of person who made that easy. He..." Chester paused, this had to be perfect but for some reason he couldn't remember what it was he was going to say.

"It's alright darling." Mrs. Shinoda whispered. Chester looked at her and smiled faintly. She understood how hard it was to form words about someone who defied words. Someone who was beyond simple phrases of praise.

"Mike was my everything." Chester half whimpered. "He was.. "

Chester sniffled and paused again. "I guess I'm not good at speeches. I don't think Mike would have wanted speeches." He fought not to turn around and look at the coffin. His eyes had been everywhere but there so far and he wasn't sure if he could take that. Not yet.

Chester took a deep breath and reached behind one of the many baskets of flowers and pulled out a guitar. It briefly intered his mind that no one had really ever bought Mike flowers when he was alive. Why bother now that he's dead? He can't enjoy them. Why couldn't these selfish bastards give them to him when he was alive?

The though passed as quickly as it came though, and he sat in the chair next to the podium and strummed. A few people mumbled to one another but Chester ignored them. This was for Mike, not for them. He glanced at Mike's parent's and noticed their tears. Maybe this was for them too.

His fingers began strumming out the familiar tune. He didn't need to look at his hands or watch his fingers, he knew the song by heart. The mummers dissipated and all that was left was the sound of the guitar and the soft sobs of Mrs. Shinoda. Chester's heart went out to her.

"This song IS Mike." Chester said softly. "Wherever you are baby, I love you."

And he sang. He sang with every ounce of love and every bit of his soul;

If I were to die this mornin'

Would you tell me things that you wouldn't have?

Would you be my navigator?

Would you take me to a place we could hide?

As I'm fallin' out

I wonder what I lost

Must be movin' on

Know I'll be waitin' here alone

I wanna ask you to forgive me

I haven't been the best with all that I had

Wish I'd only laid beside you

I think I spread myself a little too thin

Chester choked back a sob and continued playing. The pain of loss ripped though his chest and for a split second he wondered if maybe he was dying. A heart attack brought on by stress? His playing faltered a bit and he whimpered, closing his eyes and picturing Mike. His big brown eyes and sweet goofy grin. He pictured Mike kissing his forehead and whispering "You can do it. I love you Ches, you'll get through."

Chester squeezed his eyes shut even tighter and began playing again. He wasn't sure he'd be able to find his voice, but when he opened his mouth it was there. Pure and full of love and sadness for his broken dreams. Chester felt every note, every word;

As I'm fadin' out

I don't feel anything at all

Think I'm movin' on

Know you'll be safe but not alone

You're the everything

That led me to believe,

"Hold on, hold on"

You're the wonder in everything

That's wonderful

As the last note echoed off the walls of the small church Chester's resolve vanished and he cried as though he were a child again. He cried till he didn't think there were any tears left. Brad was the one who came and helped him to his seat. Brad, he didn't feel as much hate towards him now like he did earlier.

The service was ended in prayer. But Chester did not pray, he only cried. He cried for himself and he cried for Mike and Mike's parent's. He cried for the dreams Mike was never going to fulfill now. They were going to start a band. Mike wanted to be famous. He wanted to create music.

As the line of people began at the coffin for the final viewing Chester stay seated. His sobs only slightly under control. Brad wasn't by his side now but he felt no resentment. He was becoming numb to the people around him. Nothing could get through this agony.

When the final mourner had gone though the line Chester stood weakly and made his way to the black pine box in the front of the pulpit. He walked slowly and his hands began to shake when he made it to the front. Inside lay his Mikey dressed in a suit his hair spiked up and his face calm, almost like he was sleeping. Like if Chester reached inside and touched him, Mike's eyelashes would flutter open and he'd ask what was going on and why he was in a suit of all things. Mikey NEVER wore suits. It looked strange on him. Like a Halloween costume and not...

Tears poured freely from Chester's eyes as he touched Mike's cold face. He couldn't help but whimper. It didn't feel like Mike anymore. His skin had a fake look to it. Like someone had caked on make-up to make him look presentable. It was likely. Mike wasn't the pale shell he had been. Chester decided though he preferred the pale shell to the made up doll that was in the box. That wasn't Mike. It couldn't be could it?

"I'll miss you. More than you'll ever know. I'll be with you someday though." Chester's voice shook like his hands. He wiped the tears from his eyes and leaned in and kissed Mike’s forehead. "I know you're not in there anymore but I guess I needed to kiss you on last time. I'm sure you're in heaven and maybe someday I'll get there."

With that Chester pulled a box from his suit pocket. He smiled softly as he opened it and imagined how Mike would have reacted to the beautiful silver wedding band inside. He would have been extatic.

"I know that this is probably silly, but I didn't get this chance before. I was going to ask you but you got so sick... I wanted to wait till you were better but it never happned..."

He pulled the band from the box and took Mike's cold hand and slipped the ring on.

"I know you would've said yes, so don't think I'm being cocky." Chester smiled again, the tears finally gone. "I miss you Mikey."

Chester gave his love one last look and turned and walked away. He was never going to forget his love for Mike, it would be with him always. Just like the silver ring that Mike wore now. Love eternal.

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