Category Linkin Park

4 AM by flying_penguin

4 AM

A/N: Don't own, don't own Moulin Rouge. A product of a couple sleepless nights. Enjoy.

It was a clear, cool night in a town slightly north of Los Angeles. Unusually calm, as if it knew something was going to happen to a couple of its inhabitants, something they didn’t expect. At one of the houses in this town, a full moon shone into a male’s bedroom, illuminating his thin frame, glinting off a labret piercing, and making him look nearly angelic. The only thing keeping the scene from being perfect was the way the young man kept twisting in his sheets, uncomfortable, unable to fall completely asleep.

His breathing was heavy, his body shivering as if caught in a terrible nightmare. Suddenly the silence in the room was shattered as he sat up and screamed a name, tears rolling down his face. At the exact same time, the cell phone on his nightstand began to ring, yanking him into full consciousness. He reached for it, answering in a husky, shaking voice. "H-hello..?"

A shy, quiet voice answered. "Chaz? Chaz, you okay?"

Chester swallowed hard and carefully stretched out his body on the bed, gazing out the French doors to the world outside. He could all too easily imagine the owner of this voice standing outside, soothing him. "Mike..?"

"Yeah, its me.." A soft laugh this time. "Did I wake you?"

"Not really.. what time is it?"


"Motherfuck..." He swore, hugging himself with his free arm. "Everything okay?”

"No." He could feel Mike’s shrug over the phone line. "I couldn’t sleep."

"Again? You never fucking sleep anymore, do you?" Chester murmured, gently pushing himself up and walking out onto his balcony in only boxers, feeling the moonlight trace over his skin.

"I miss you.."


This time the voice got defensive. "No, don’t start with that, okay? I know I have no right to say it. Trust me, I know."

"I wasn’t going to say anything. You’re the one who called me, remember?"

"I know.. Ches, why do you think we broke up?" Mike’s voice was questioning and calm, knowing the answer already.

"Because I said I loved you. You know that."

"And I couldn’t say it back."

"Right, you couldn’t say it back. So I dumped you." He sighed, chewing nervously on his lower lip, pacing slowly back and forth, back and forth...

"You know what I think about love.. Chester, its total and utter bullshit, don’t you think that?" An angry sigh. "People only say it to get other people to do what they want!"

"Like me, trying to get you into bed or get you to come out as gay in public or something? Except I didn’t say it until after we did that, remember?"

"No, I believe that you actually think you loved me.."

"Actually, Mike, I know I love you." Fuck! He cursed himself mentally, regretting the slip. Thankfully, Mike ignored it.

"But… but love is nothing. A four letter word like shit, or damn, or fuck! Its empty, it has no meaning. Someone could cheat on their significant other and still tell that person they love them. Fucking crazy, Chaz."

"Did you think I would cheat on you?"

"That has nothing to do with this. Its an example."

"Answer my fucking question, Shinoda."

"You would never have cheated on me. You know what its like to be cheated on, you've been through that. But I think love, that special kind of love, is reserved for people who deserve it. And I don’t, Ches, I don’t, and you know that!"

"Bullshit. Love? Above all things I believe in love! Love is like oxygen. Love is a many-splendored thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love!" He growled, wanting to throw the phone into his swimming pool. He couldn't believe he was arguing about this when he should be trying to get back to sleep! "Is this why you woke me up at 4 am?"

"Chester Bennington, did you just quote Moulin Rouge?" Mike’s voice was stunned.

"Yes. Fucking deal with it, you woke me up."

"But what if I don’t want to deal with it? Maybe I don’t want to know what love is like! Love hurts, Chazzy, it fucking hurts!"

"You’re preaching to the choir, Mike.." His voice was gentler, feeling his memories start to come back, allowing himself to relive the pain Mike caused him. "But if you’re with the right person, its worth it, and it’ll stop hurting eventually."

"But what if you gave up the right person because you were afraid? That’s just stupidity, right?"

"Its only stupid if you don’t learn from it. Like me, for example. I know now to find out how the other person feels about love before I let myself fall for them."

"I’m sorry, Chester."

"I know you are, Mikey. You hurt too.." He pauses, watching someone walk closer to his house, part of him wondering if its who he thinks it is. "And I’m not helping, either, am I?"

"Not at all, baby." The sudden grin was visible in the words, making a shiver run up Chester’s spine.

"Mike.." He smiled, wetting his lips as he headed back into his bedroom. "We’ll talk about this more when the sun comes up, okay?"

"And what do you plan to do until then?"

"Depends on if you still have the key to my place," he sighed quietly. "Mike, I’m not your toy."

"I never thought you were. And Chester...?"

"Yes?” He asked softly, sliding back into his bed. His chocolate eyes locked on the door, watching as the knob turned.

"I love you."

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