“Brad’s got porn! Brad’s got porn!!”

An out of breath Joe Hahn burst into the back of the bus with what Mike could only guess was the aforementioned ‘porn’ in hand. Joe looked around and only spotting Mike proceeded straight for him waving his latest acquisition in the air.

“Mike – look what Brad had tucked away under his bunk all this time and he never told us.” Joe was almost hopping from foot to foot in this excitement.

I just stared at him trying to figure out why a fully grown man who certainly had had every opportunity to go out and purchase whatever kinky movies turned him on was so animated about.

“Joe – what the fuck man? What are you doing getting into Brad’s things?” I tried to look suitably unimpressed although I just thought the whole thing was downright silly. Ok Brad has a porn DVD. Big deal. And yeah it’s not like we don’t live in eachother’s pockets on tour so it’s not easy to keep anything private. I shook my head at Joe and gave him a goofy grin before oh so reluctantly reaching out my hand for the DVD.

I watched Joe turn the DVD over in his hands. His eyes focused on whatever mindless blurb was written on the back. After a couple of seconds I saw his eyes widen. He kept reading and then looked up at me.

Fully expecting Joe to hand it over so we could get down to the serious business of making lewd comments about whatever blonde bimbo was on the cover I ended up watching my empty hand stretched out between us for half a minute while Joe gave me the strangest look and shifted from side to side a few times. Eventually I gave up.

“Ah, so you want to look at it then?”

I shrugged at Joe, slightly confused as to what he was up to and dropped my hand back to my lap.

“Jesus Joe, to be honest I don’t really care but since you were making such a fucking song and dance I thought I should humor you for a bit. But hey – whatever man.”

He looked back down at the DVD and then back up to me again, the whole time looking like he was considering something.

“Um Mike, this movie is um, well it’s got…I think maybe you’d just better take a look.”

Ok now I was intrigued. I took the DVD and looked at the front cover. It took a couple of second for me to figure what had made Joe act so strange. This wasn’t just standard porn. The cover did have the usual bronzed semi naked starlet casting a smoldering glance at the camera except with a difference. I felt my eyes widen in much the same way as I had seen Joes as I turned the cover over to confirm what had suddenly occurred to me. Yep – there is was. This was gay porn, and the back cover confirmed it. I looked down at the two naked men in a more than friendly embrace and then back up at Joe with a slightly stunned expression.

“Joe this is –”

“Yeah it is isn’t it…ah…maybe I should just put it back where I found it.”

“Um, yeah I guess so.”

We stayed like that for a minute both feeling a little uncomfortable at our discovery.

“Mike?”

“Hm?”

“Do you think that Brad um, ya know…do you think he –”

“What…do I think Brad’s –”

“What do we both think about me?”

Holly shit. Brad had heard us talking about him and he now stood at the entrance to the lounge at the back of the bus looking between the two of us while I subtly tried to hide the DVD case I was holding down the side of the couch with the help of Joe obscuring my frantic actions from Brad. After a couple of seconds of completely obvious shuffling around I looked up to see Brad trying to peer around Joe and get a better look at what I was up to. Nice one Shinoda. You have now dropped yourself right in it.

“Ah…”

Great, Mr Hahn to the rescue. Why was I even worrying?

“I thought you might want to come bowling with me and Rob but Mike said you hate bowling so I guess we are on our own, so ah, see you guys later then.” And with that and a quick evil grin directed at me the ever illusive Mr Hahn was gone as quickly as he arrived, leaving Brad staring at me and me doing my best to nod in complete agreement with the lie Joe had just left me to defend.

Crap. I was sure I had been sitting here innocently minding my own business not two minutes ago. How the fuck did this happen?

“Mike?”

“Yeah Brad?”

“Apart from the fact that I know you know I am a bowling freak – tell me – what the fuck are you hiding down the side of the couch?”

Fuck. Was there really any way out of this? I swallowed hard trying to think of anything that would distract Brad. Anything I could possibly change the subject to that would make him forget about seeing my bungled attempt at stashing the DVD out of sight.

“Well that would be…um, nothing at all Brad.” Dumbass. Stupid dumb fuck. I could hardly sit there and listen to myself without giving myself a good slap across the forehead. Oh well. I was pretty sure that Brad would be happy to oblige very shortly when I no doubt coughed up the goods.

“Aha.” Brad folded his arms across this chest and gave me his best “I don’t believe a single fucking word” look to which all I could mange in return was another inane grin. Top marks for digging your way out of this one so far Mikey.

And then it happened. Of course I was in no way ready for it and basically sat there and watched Brad more or less pounce on me from across the, albeit small, room.

I heard myself let out a shriek as I realized what was happening. Brad was on top pf me on the couch basically feeling around in every place he could reach – which included various areas of my anatomy – in order to uncover whatever it was I had been hiding from him.

“Jesus Brad! Settle down already!” I tired to push myself out from under him as I saw one hand snake between the cushions of the couch and come up with the offending item in hand. Damn.

“Aha – what’s this eh Mike?”

Brad had the gleam of victory in his eyes as he held the as yet unidentified item in front of my nose. He was still basically sitting on my lap and I quickly tried to push my body as far back into the couch as I could as a sudden vision of exactly what was going to happen next entered my head.

And then it happened more or less as I thought. Brad finally looked at what it was he had fished out from amongst the cushions and as the light of recognition dawned so did something else. Brad was sitting on top of me holding a gay porn video. His very own gay porn video. And after all that registered Brad scrambled quickly off me. He couldn’t get away fast enough. I just sat back with my hands in the air and my head resting lightly on the back of the couch. I sure as hell wasn’t going to argue with his need to suddenly be right across the room from me.

I slowly brought my head up to see Brad gasping in several lungfuls of air and looking nervously between me and the item he held in his hand, an almost wild look in his eyes.

Shit. I had to say something. Anything.

“So this is fucking awkward.” I tired to smile. Maybe make Brad see some sort of humor in this whole thing. God knows I wasn’t feeling much right now.

“Mike…what the hell are you doing with this?”

“Brad I’m fucking sorry man.”

I could tell Brad was not only embarrassed but incredibly angry. And who could blame him. Fuck Joe Hahn.

“Mike this was private. I can’t believe you’d go through my things. What the hell made you do that?”

I could have just blamed it all on Joe. Probably should have because he damn well deserved it. But that would look like a complete cop out right now. I just decided to keep quiet.

“Jesus, you know I trusted you don’t you? And you just decided to go through my things out of the blue?”

And after a few seconds of chewing over his last words Brad went on.

“Fucking Hahn didn’t have anything to do with this did he?”

Ah shit. Well I wasn’t going to but since Brad asked.

“Um, maybe.” I mumbled towards the floor. I couldn’t look at Brad. I knew he would be furious.

“Well that’s just fucking marvelous.”

I heard Brad move across the room and felt the couch move as he sat at the far end from me. I looked slowly sideways at him and was surprised to see him rubbing at his temples as if trying to dull an ache behind his eyes, which maybe he was. He now looked less angry and just plan tired out.

“Brad?”

Brad turned to look at me wearily. “Mike…just don’t ok. I have a fair idea what you are thinking right now but believe me I’d just rather not talk about it. I am still completely pissed at you guys for going through my things so the least you can do it just shut the fuck up and let me stew.”

“Ah, kay.” I turned my attention onto anything but Brad and willed my body to sink further into the couch. The next minute though he was off again, furry still running through his words.

“Fuck it. You really want to know Mike? Huh? Cause you’re probably already thinking it anyway so I may as well confirm it for you.”

Brad got up from the couch and went to leave the room. My eyes now glued to his back. Was he going to say something else?

Just as I thought he was going to leave without another word he spun round and stared straight at me. He mouth moved to form some words a couple of times as his eyes lost contact with my own and started randomly scanning the room.

Brad finally spoke again. This time so quietly I strained to hear the words.

“Shit... Mike…you may as well be the first one to know. I…I’m gay.”

And with that Brad turned and left me sitting there open mouthed on the couch at the back of the bus.

****