A/N: Welcome back! This is part six, so if this is your first click, you need to back all the way up to here:

Devil's Drop - http://lpfiction.com/story.php?id=16709

Devil's Effect - http://lpfiction.com/story.php?id=16901

Devil's Fate - http://lpfiction.com/story.php?id=16940

Devil's Guilt - http://lpfiction.com/story.php?id=16971

Devil's House - http://lpfiction.com/story.php?id=16990

Yeah, we know it's a lot of words. Hopefully it's worth it! Thanks for sticking around!

****

Mike Shinoda waited anxiously outside Jason’s Seattle apartment door for it to open. It was just after seven in the morning on Saturday, and the thought crossed his mind as he stood there that maybe this impulsive trip to Seattle at the last minute had been a mistake. That maybe Jason was still sleeping and hadn’t heard him knock from the second floor. That he should have called, or texted, or even had Ryan let Jason know he was coming.

He thought of Chester’s sad face as they said goodbye in L.A. just a few hours earlier, and pressed his lips together as he knocked a second time. Mike had made a promise - he’d be home in less than 48 hours - and he needed Jason to open the door so he could show the other man just how sorry he was about everything, and get home to Chester on time. It wasn’t a promise that Mike was willing to break, and he reached to pull his phone from his pocket. If Jason didn’t open the door in the next ten seconds, Mike was going to have to call him.

Inside the apartment, Jason was on his way down the stairs when he heard a second knock on the door. He was grumpy about it, wondering who would be so insistent at seven in the morning on a Saturday. He didn’t typically sleep past seven, and this morning he’d decided to lay in bed and read instead of getting right up and getting his day started. But the heavy knock on his door had gotten him out of the warm blankets and headed downstairs, cursing himself for not taking time to find socks. His feet were bare on the cold floors, and Jason shivered as he reached the door and looked out the little peep hole into the hallway.

He couldn’t contain his gasp when it was Mike on the other side of the door. It was hard to comprehend such an unexpected visit so early in the morning, and the mix of emotions that slammed his insides instantly. Part of Jason wanted to throw the door open and pull Mike into his arms, the other part wanted to walk right back up the stairs and ignore him. He pulled back from the peep hole and took a breath, pressing his hands to his cheeks to feel the sudden flush there. All of his emotions felt mixed up as he opened the door, just enough to see that it really was Mike Shinoda on the other side, looking disheveled and a little scared, with one hand on his backpack strap and his phone in the other.

“What are you doing here?” Jason asked, making no move to let Mike in as they stared at each other. “It’s seven in the morning.”

Mike slid his phone into his pocket and shrugged sheepishly. His heart was pounding and he could hear it in his ears as he tried to come up with something clever to say. “I didn’t think Facetime was good enough,” he finally said. “I wanted to see you.”

Jason huffed out a disbelieving breath. “And you just flew up here on a whim? What if I was still sleeping?” He shook his head. “Flights are expensive, I could have just not opened the door.”

“I was hoping you would,” Mike said before he hung his head and stared at Jason’s bare feet. “I know this was an expensive gamble. Ryan bought the ticket,” he admitted. He didn’t look up, and Jason didn’t say anything. “Can I come in? I’d hate to have to tell Ryan he wasted all that money and you still won’t talk to me.” He peeked up at Jason through his hair. “And aren’t your feet cold?”

Jason rolled his eyes as he stepped back from the door, making space for Mike to enter the apartment. “Don’t tell him that,” Jason said as Mike walked past him, and he closed and locked the door. “Just sit down while I go get some socks,” he ordered, gesturing toward the couch. “I can’t believe you came all the way up here,” he muttered, shaking his head again.

He left Mike downstairs while he moved around the bedroom, putting on socks and using the toilet, then brushing his teeth. Jason glanced in the mirror before he stepped back out to the bedroom. It didn’t bother him to keep Mike waiting while he took his time making the bed, trying to think through what he even wanted to say now that Mike was in his place. Being face to face after almost three weeks without having a choice in the matter was frustrating, and he grabbed his phone and fired off a text to Ryan. After all, Ryan was the one who had taken that choice away, even if he’d done so from a well-meaning place.

Jason: Really? You bought Mike a plane ticket?

Back in L.A. it was already breakfast time. Julien was in his highchair, happily gnawing on baby cereal to keep him happy while oatmeal and coffee were being made. Despite Chester’s midnight run to the airport and getting up with the girls after returning home, he was awake and feeling good. The sleep he had managed had been restful, and he wasn’t even yawning this morning as he hummed and danced around the kitchen while he cooked and talked to the kids. Both girls were in their bouncy seats set up on the dining room table. They’d been changed and fed and were still awake as they held their blankets and sucked on pacifiers.

“Just think, Princesses,” Chester said as he kept an eye on the oatmeal that was almost ready, “one day soon you’ll be sitting at the table with us for real to eat. Like this guy,” he laughed as he pointed at Julien.

The baby smiled, his mouth covered in mushy cereal. “Eat!!” he called to Chester waving one sticky hand toward his uncle.

“Yes, you eat and we will too in a few minutes,” Chester told the baby.

Julien looked over at his sisters, who were only a few inches in front of him. “Baby eat!” he said as he took a piece of his cereal and threw it at Lila.

“Noooo,” Chester called as he zipped over to the table. “Julien, it’s nice to try and share, but Miss Lilac Girl isn’t old enough to eat this yet.” He made a face at the mushy piece of cereal. He headed back to the kitchen to wet down a paper towel and wipe off the purple bouncy seat. “Your brother’s so silly,” he told Lila as he cleaned up the soggy spot. “Let’s just hope he’s still wanting to share when you’re old enough to actually take it.” He smiled at his daughter, tickling his fingers under her chin and watching her smile up at him around her pacifier.

“How did I get so lucky to have such an adorable little princess?” he cooed down at her before looking over at Lily. She was watching him closely from her pink bouncy seat that had flowers on it. “And you are too, Miss Lily,” he made sure to add, tugging on her foot that was sticking out the bottom of her blanket. “Miss Lily Bennington,” he said in a sing-song voice. “And Miss Lila Bennington,” he said next, giving Lila another tickle to her chin.

“Those girls are going to be so spoiled,” Ryan laughed as he walked into the room. “I thought you were making us some oatmeal, but instead you’re over here fangirling over the Princesses.” Despite his words, Ryan couldn’t help himself either. “But they are so cute,” he added as he took Lily’s little hand, squeezing it between two of his fingers. “I can’t believe how much they look like Talinda.”

“It’s all that dark hair,” Chester said. “And this smile,” he added as he tickled Lila’s cheek. “And don’t worry, the oatmeal’s about done,” Chester assured him as he left the girls alone and walked back into the kitchen. The oatmeal was bubbling and according to Chester’s nose, it was done. He gave it a stir before getting down two regular bowls and a smaller one for Julien.

Ryan followed just as his phone dinged with a text message. He pulled his phone from the pocket of his shorts to see the message from Jason. “Uh-oh,” Ryan said as he read it twice. “Jason Akio is asking me about the ticket we bought for Mike.”

Chester turned away from the stove, his eyes narrowed from behind his glasses. “Yeah? He’s not mad is he?”

Ryan shook his head. “Naw. He’ll be okay. And it’s for his good,” he added as he went to text back. “You know? It’s all for him. He’s miserable fighting with Shinoda.”

Ryan: Technically, yes. He wanted to apologize to you in person, and seriously, Jay, Chazzy and I couldn’t handle his whining any longer about missing you so much :)

Ryan sent the message before he put his attention back on Chester. “Don’t worry about it. Even if he’s a little miffed at me, he can’t stay mad at me forever.” He left his phone on the counter and stepped over to Chester, wrapping him up in his arms to kiss up and down his neck, making him laugh. “I’m too cute, you know? Jason Akio never stays mad at me for long.”

Chester was grinning. “You are kind of adorable,” he said with a snort. “I hope they work things out.”

The serious sentiment in Chester’s voice had Ryan letting him go. He put his attention on the food instead, scooping some oatmeal into Julien’s bright blue plastic bowl so it could cool down. “I do too,” he mentioned as he got out spoons - two for him and Chester and one of Julien’s rubber tipped baby spoons. “I’m ready for Jay to come home and life to go back to normal.”

“We all need to talk about it,” Chester said as he dished out their portions of oatmeal. “Not the way we did before with Mike telling us what to do, but we all need to sit down and talk.”

Ryan went for coffee cups next. “Do you think we have more to talk about? I thought we were just going to go back to how things were.”

Chester shrugged. “I’m not sure about that. Even if you take Mike’s mom’s guilt trip out of it, I think there was some truth behind what he said that night. About being in over his head.”

Ryan poured their coffee. “About being in love with Jay?”

“Yeah. To the point of it scaring him.” Chester sighed as he headed to the refrigerator for the cream. “He told me that he overreacted that night and made it sound worse than it is because his mom got in his head, but I know him. I know he gets caught up and things get out of control.”

Ryan spooned sugar into their cups before moving out of the way so Chester could add the cream. “So how do we fix that?” Chester didn’t say anything right away, and Ryan let the silence go between them. Despite the heaviness of the conversation they were having, Ryan knew it was important they had it. He and Chester had a standing order between them to always be open and honest, and he knew that was what was happening now.

“I’m not totally sure,” Chester answered as he took his spoon and stirred his coffee before plopping it into his hot bowl of oatmeal. He leaned against the counter, facing Ryan. “I know he loves Jason. I’ve known that for years. And I know that love has gotten stronger since we’ve been here. Since they’ve been allowed to sleep together.”

“That makes sense,” Ryan agreed as he matched Chester’s position, leaning against the opposite counter. “What’s between us has always been strong, but I think it’s stronger now since we’ve been living here too,” he said as he motioned between the two of them.

Chester nodded. “I agree. And I can’t be upset at Mike for having those same feelings. I just wish he could keep his balance better,” he admitted, his shoulders slumping a little. “That’s what’s off. His balance.”

“That has nothing to do with you, Chazzy,” Ryan assured him quickly. “Mike’s had a different life than you and me and Jay, you know? He doesn’t have as much practice when it comes to multiple partners and keeping track of feelings.”

That made sense and Chester felt his spirits lift. “That’s true. You’re right. I know he loves me,” he said with a half smile. “And I know I shouldn’t doubt that like I do sometimes. I’m working on that,” he promised, his hand on the front of his white v-neck shirt. “I’m really hoping our couples counseling helps with that too.”

“I think it will help with a lot of things,” Ryan decided as he left his coffee behind and stepped up to Chester. He took his hand and raised it to kiss his knuckles softly. “He loves you, Chazzy. I don’t doubt it. Even when he makes stupid choices. And I love you, too.” He kissed his hand again before leaning in for a soft kiss from Chester’s coffee stained lips.

“I love you, too,” Chester whispered when the kiss broke, and he wrapped his arms around Ryan’s neck. “Are you ready to sit down and eat? I think after breakfast we should take the kids for a walk.”

Ryan’s hands were on Chester’s ass, holding him gently. “I love that idea. Some fresh air with our kiddos sounds perfect.” He pulled Chester a little closer as they kissed again, and then they were headed to the table with their oatmeal and coffee.

Back in Ryan and Jason’s Seattle bedroom, Jason glanced at Ryan’s message and rolled his eyes. Mike whining about missing me. I bet he was. It was a few seconds of justifying his hurt feelings and swirling thoughts about Mike’s miserableness being his own fault, before Jason sat down on the edge of the bed and sighed. I know we have to talk it out. And that I can’t stay here forever. I just can’t believe he came all the way up here to have this conversation. Knowing he’s got that appointment Tuesday. How long is he planning to be here?

On the couch, Mike was fretting. Jason had been upstairs more than ten minutes now, just to get socks. The longer he sat there, the more he worried that he was going to be left sitting for hours, staring at a white couch he didn’t recognize. Mike looked around the apartment as he waited, taking in the neutral white and gray interior that replaced the warm and cozy dark gray and browns when Jason and Ryan moved back to L.A. In place of all of the furniture that had gone to their side of the L house were simple, light colored pieces that felt a little out of place in the darker, masculine looking apartment. He wondered what the giant California king bed had been replaced with, just as Jason reappeared on the stairs.

He popped up off the couch nervously as soon as Jason’s feet were on the bottom floor. “Can we make coffee?” Mike asked, stepping toward the kitchen. “I know you’re not thrilled that I’m here, Jay, but I want us to talk. Really talk, not how it’s been the past few weeks.” He stopped at the bar as Jason walked into the kitchen and to the coffee maker without saying a word. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, hoping Jason would turn around to face him. “I know I’ve said it already, but I don’t think you know how much I mean it.” He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and started biting on it anxiously as he watched the back of Jason’s head.

Jason kept his attention on the coffee maker. “I know you’re sorry,” he said as he measured out coffee grounds. “I don’t doubt it. Do you think sorry is enough to take back what you’ve done?” He closed the coffee maker and plucked out the carafe so he could fill it with water. “What do you want from me?” Jason asked, his voice tight. “You want me to just tell you it’s okay, Mike? To minimize how I feel about all of this? I think you overestimate me.”

Mike let go of his lip and where he’d been biting it stung a little bit. “You don’t have to minimize how you feel. I just want you to give me a chance to fix things. And I’m not overestimating you, I know it’s not easy for you. I know I fucked up and it’s going to take time, I know that. But you have to let me try. Forgive me enough to give me a chance to make it better.”

Jason poured water into the coffee maker and turned around to face Mike, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s just not that easy,” he insisted. “You can’t tell me that you love me and then completely disregard that love in the same breath. That’s what you did. You know that, right? You said, I love you but that’s not enough for me. After all this time together, and the four of us settling into a life together, you just ended it all.”

“And I realized how fucked up that was,” Mike answered immediately. “I was being selfish, I let my mom get in my head about us. I shouldn’t have done that, I know. I went into this whole arrangement as an adult making my own decisions. I can’t let her set me back to being a kid, I know that.” He stepped around the side of the bar, closer to Jason. “You were right. I’m selfish and impulsive and stupid, Jason. I’d give anything to not have those voices in my head that tell me loving you and loving Chester is wrong. I know we should have stayed away from each other when we had the opportunity to, instead of cultivating this thing between us. But here we are. I know I hurt you and I can’t take it back. I need you to believe me when I tell you I wish I could.”

Jason let go of his sides to hold on to the counter top behind him. “You’re right. We could have let Ry and Chaz be friends, and you and I could have stayed away from each other. I love my husband more than anything in this world, Mike. And I would be absolutely fine without you.”

That wasn’t exactly what Mike had hoped to hear. He’d wanted Jason to deny that the two of them had anything powerful between them, but Jason was holding strong to his hurt feelings and feigned indifference. “Would you?” Mike challenged quickly. “You’re really going to stand there and tell me that you and I could never speak again, and you’d be okay? We’ve been fighting this thing between us for years. You’re really ready to walk away from me, knowing what that would do to our husbands, and never talk to me again?”

“Isn’t that what you were trying to do?” Jason shot back. “You said you were ending our relationship because you love Chester and you were afraid of your love for me.” He pressed a hand to his chest. “The difference is that loving you doesn’t scare me. Ryan loving Chester doesn’t scare me. I know if Ryan were forced to choose, he'd choose me. Your problem is you can’t be honest with yourself. You don’t know which one of us you want.”

Mike backed up a step at the accusation, and Jason kept going. “You know what I think? What I’ve been thinking about while I’ve been up here?” Jason asked, his voice low. “I think what you really want is me, Mike. And that scares you because you think it’s supposed to be Chester. That you lost your virginity to him, and that’s what you were always told. What if I had found you first?”

The question hung in the air between them. It was a good question. It was a question Mike had never thought about before. Both of them were thinking about that day they met, and that night in the YRS kitchen when all Mike wanted was a glass of water and all Jason wanted was to see the skin Mike Shinoda was hiding under his oversized pajamas. Mike was far from a virgin by then, but what if… what if Jason had picked him up in a bar the way Mark had plucked Jason from one? What if the first time Mike got on his knees, it was for Jason and not Chester? Would this all be reversed, would he be chasing Chester while tethered to Jason? Or would he have ever even known Chester?

Mike turned away from Jason and walked toward the windows. He could feel his whole body shaking. What Jason was saying wasn’t true. Breaking up with Jason had been initiated because he was actively choosing Chester and their marriage. How was that not coming across?

He heard Jason moving in the kitchen, and the sound of coffee being poured. Mike didn’t turn around, even when he heard Jason plop both mugs down on the bar. “If you’d found me first,” Mike said in a trembling voice, “things would be different. Just like you said - in another life, it could have been me and you. You could have been the one. But that’s not what happened. That’s not how it went. By the time we met, you were broken, Jason. You were broken and I was a dumb, scared kid who was madly in love with another scared, broken kid. I struggle with the morality of all of this, and I know that hurts and confuses you, and Chester. But those broken, scared people have made a good life together, Jay. It shouldn’t matter what my mother thinks. Or anyone else. We’re all going to struggle differently through all of this, and I’m glad we have each other. I need you, just like I need Ches. Just like Ches needs Ryan. Just like Ryan needs you. I’m the one with the problem. I have to stop thinking it’s fucked up that we need each other. I thought I was past that, and then the girls coming and my mom being there… I let it get to me.”

He turned back around and went back to the kitchen, sitting down on one of the barstools to reach for his coffee. Black, just like Jason’s. “I want you to come home,” Mike pleaded, hoping Jason would look at him. “I want you to come back to us. We miss you. I miss you. It just feels wrong when you aren’t there.”

Jason didn’t look at Mike. He knew that he’d look at those big brown eyes and give in. He loved Mike, and even if the entire situation was fucked up, Jason couldn’t deny it. He knew he couldn’t really walk away and never see Mike again. He couldn’t tell Ryan to bring Julien and hide away with him in Seattle. It would never work. “Say I come home,” he said, keeping his eyes on his coffee mug. “We hop on a plane and go back to L.A. today. What’s stopping you from changing your mind again the next time your mother comes to town? That’s where I’m struggling, Mike. You can’t need me, need our life together, until the first time someone disapproves. None of us deserve what you’re putting us through right now.”

“I won’t do it again,” Mike said as Jason laughed in disbelief. “I’m not going to let her dictate my whole life. I’m not willing to let her influence cause me to break your heart again, Jason. I swear it. I know I hurt you,” he said again. “I know I was wrong. I’m not just trying to put it back together for me, it’s for all of us. I hurt everyone. And you’re the only one who won’t let me make amends.”

Jason carried his coffee to the couch and sat down, thinking that Mike would follow. It surprised him when Mike stayed at the bar, his focus in the kitchen instead of the living room. That was fine. It gave Jason a moment to breathe, and to think. To ponder how life would be different in all sorts of scenarios. If he’d never met Mark. If they’d never hired Ryan. If Mark hadn’t been so enthralled with Chester that they brought Mike into the fold.

What if he’d met Mike first? There were only six years between them, maybe they could have met when Mike was finished with school, and Jason had a stable job. They could have lived just about anywhere. Mike could have always looked at him with that same starry eyed gaze he looked at Chester with, they could have been married. It could have been just the two of them.

It had never been just the two of them for Jason. Not with Mark, not with Ryan, not with Mike. He didn’t know what that would even be like, and yet he couldn’t really fault Mike for still clinging to that ideal. That was how it was supposed to be, marriage for two. Mike’s naivety about sex and marriage could be both endearing and infuriating, and Jason had thought his lover was far past those naive, single minded days. He’s even had Ry, now. There’s no going back to a mindset where sex and marriage are just for two.

He watched Mike get up and refill his coffee, and walk slowly to the couch to sit down on the opposite side from Jason. When he didn’t say anything, Jason turned to face him, tucking his sock covered foot up under his leg. “I love you,” he said to Mike slowly. “When we all started living together, when we all talked about being open in our marriages to each other, trusting each other was so important. We all have parts of us that are broken,” he explained, referencing what Mike had said earlier.

“And maybe that’s what the four of us are doing, Mike. Healing the brokenness. Putting those broken parts back together. I don’t know. There’s something between me and you that makes it impossible to walk away. You were the outsider. You were this sensitive, artistic soul that I couldn’t ignore. That doesn’t mean I love Ryan less. It doesn’t mean if we had to make a choice right now that I wouldn’t choose him. But you have a piece of my heart, Mike. I trusted you with it. And you just… decided my heart was disposable.”

Mike studied Jason’s downturned lips and his honest expression of grief before he shook his head. “I never thought that, Jay, I swear it. I only wanted to do the right thing. And maybe I don’t really know what that is, maybe you’re right sometimes that I’m not sure what I would do if I had to choose. Sometimes I think Chester would be far better off with Ryan than me. And that the right thing to do would be to let him go when all I do is keep hurting him.”

Jason looked up. “Isn’t that why we’re in this open marriage? Because there are times where yes, what Chaz needs is Ryan. Just like there are times that you and I need each other. But at the end of the day, we’re married to the right people, you know that, right?”

Mike nodded. “I do. That’s why I tried to put space between us. I don’t want loving you to hurt him.”

“So you let it hurt me instead.” Jason could see when those words finally seemed to make sense to Mike. He could see the guilt on his face as he traced a finger around the top of his mug.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Mike asked sadly. “When we were in your office and I was trying to explain myself, you didn’t fight for us. You didn’t even try to make me change my mind. You just agreed and let me do it, let me destroy everything. Why would you do that, if I meant so much to you?”

“Why would I fight with you, Mike? You’re stubborn and your mind was made up. I knew it after watching you mope around the house for a week. It was premeditated, and you knew how much it would hurt me. Both of us. And you did it anyway. I’m past the point of my life where I’m going to beg for anyone’s love.” Jason closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the couch.

It was very still and quiet in the apartment, and Mike looked over the back of the couch and out the windows. The sky was gray and droplets of rain were sliding slowly down the windows as he thought about everything Jason was saying. “You’re right,” Mike finally admitted quietly. “I knew it would hurt you, and I did it anyway. I can say I’m sorry over and over, but I understand you when you tell me you can’t trust me.” He looked up to see Jason with his eyes closed. “What can I do to prove it to you, Jason? To prove that I’m sorry, other than to promise I’ll never do it again?”

“I don’t know,” Jason said honestly. “All I really have is your word, and I have to be the one to decide if that’s enough. Are your words enough of a commitment?” He shrugged his shoulders as he sat up and leaned over to put his empty mug on the coffee table.

Mike bit his lip. He knew that making a promise was all he had. There wasn’t anything else he could do to prove himself, other than to stand behind his words over and over again. “If I could give you more of a commitment, I would,” Mike said. “All I have right now is a promise.” He left his coffee mug next to Jason’s and scooted over close so he could take Jason’s hand.

It was Jason’s left hand, and Mike twisted Ryan’s ring around slowly on Jason’s finger as they both watched. “Even this ring started out as a promise,” he said, thinking about Jason’s birthday all those years ago, when he’d still worn Mark’s ring on this same finger. “And you believed him. I don’t have a ring, Jay, but I can promise you, I won’t make this mistake again. I’ve already promised Chester, and I’m making you the same promise.”

Jason watched Mike’s fingers as they played with his wedding ring. “I want to believe you,” he whispered. He could feel himself starting to give in, to allow himself to let the hurt feelings go. He could forgive Mike, and go home to his husband and son. It could be that easy, with Mike making promises and Jason wanting to believe him.

He pulled his hand out of Mike’s and looked up. Mike was so close that it would take very little effort for Jason to lean forward and kiss him, and the temptation was there. Jason reached out to brush Mike’s hair away from his eyes so he could see them clearly. “I’d wear your ring,” he said before he reached for Mike’s necklace. “It’s not all that different from this.” He ran his fingers along the gold chain, between the cool metal and Mike’s warm skin, before he left a light kiss next to the chain. “This is a promise between you and Ryan, and you never take it off.”

Mike sucked in a breath. Jason smelled clean and Mike had missed him so much. Just the light touch to his neck had Mike’s heart beating faster. He wanted to pull Jason into him, but he didn’t. He closed his eyes instead and tried not to react to the subtle seduction. “I can’t give you a ring,” Mike whispered. “Marriage can’t be the only commitment I can make that means anything to you, Jason.”

Jason stopped the butterfly kisses around Mike’s necklace and looked at him. “A promise ring doesn’t have to end in marriage,” he refuted before he sat back. “It would be a symbol, just like this.” He lightly pulled at the chain. “You have Chester’s ring and Ryan’s necklace. But nothing from me.” He crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes at Mike. “It could be something simple, Mike.”

Mike sat back on his side of the couch, feeling flustered. For a moment it had felt like things between them were going to be fine, that Jason was willing to listen and believe him, but now suddenly Jason was closed off again. “The intent of a promise ring is that it ends in marriage. You know we can’t do that, we’re already married.”

“Just because that’s the traditional intent doesn’t mean it has to be the intent between us.” Jason stood up, collecting both mugs from the coffee table. “It’s a simple gesture, Mike.”

“You can’t tell me Ryan would be okay with you wearing a ring from me. And I know Ches wouldn’t like it.”

Jason rinsed out the mugs and placed them in the dishwasher. “It would be a symbol of commitment. That’s all. But I get it. It’s too far. You can wear a symbol of your commitment to Ryan, but not to me. I think that’s everything I need to know.”

Mike stood up, both hands on his hips. “You’re not being fair,” he said heatedly. “We can’t just go home with promise rings, Jason! It has nothing to do with my level of commitment to the promise I’m making you. I won’t screw this up again. These past three weeks have been hell, and I’ve missed you like crazy. And once Ryan and Julien came home, it was even more obvious how much I screwed things up. There’s a lot to lose here, if you won’t just trust me. If you won’t just come home. Come home, please,” he begged, right as his phone chimed a text message.

He held Jason’s eye contact for a moment, but when Jason didn’t say anything to his plea, Mike dug his phone out of his pocket. It was Chester. “They’re going to the park with the kids,” Mike read aloud, his voice calmer. “See? Do you see what we’re missing right now? Our family is headed to the park, and we’re here fighting over my dumb mistakes. Don’t you want to go home and put it all back together with me?”

Jason looked away. “You still think we can just go back to how things were,” he said. “I don’t know about that. I don’t know if you and I will be the same.” He turned off the kitchen light and headed up the stairs, without inviting Mike to follow him.

It was the end of the conversation, and Mike sat back down on the couch. He knew not to follow Jason up the stairs, though the impulse to continue hashing things out was strong. Maybe we both need a break, he decided, reaching for his backpack. He pulled out his change of clothes, neatly folded still, and set them on the coffee table before he pulled out his textbooks. He’d ended up sleeping on the plane instead of studying, so now seemed as good of a time as any, if Jason was going to disappear on him.

The rest of the morning and early afternoon passed slowly for Mike. Jason barely said anything to him, other than mentioning the deli for lunch. They’d made the short walk across the street together in silence, with Mike pulling one of Jason’s jackets close around his face in the rain. Lunch was mostly quiet, except for a few generic comments about the rain and how the food tasted, and by the time they made it back to the apartment, Mike’s nerves were on edge. Jason had taken his jacket from Mike and hung it to dry, and promptly disappeared upstairs again. It had Mike taking his phone out and texting Chester.

Mike: How are things? Girls okay? How was the park?

Chester was in the bedroom, hanging up laundry when his phone pinged with a text message. He was in the closet when he read the text from his husband. He thought about texting back, but he missed Mike, and he made the quick decision to call instead.

He had the phone to his ear when he heard Mike answer. “I figured I’d just call, unless you and Jay are busy,” he said, even though he knew it would be okay. If something important was happening, Mike wouldn’t be texting in the first place.

Mike was sitting at the bar with a glass of water. “Nope, not busy,” he said quietly. “Jay’s upstairs. We just got back from the deli.”

Chester rolled his eyes as he walked out of the closet and flopped onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “God, the deli across the street,” he snickered. “I swear that deli is my biggest competition in life.” He smiled for a second. “Please tell me the food was awful.”

“Tasted like sawdust,” Mike confirmed immediately. He was only half joking. It was hard to enjoy the food with Jason freezing him out. “You know that deli can’t compare to you,” he added with a smile. “I’d rather have your cooking than the deli, any day.”

That really made Chester smile and his voice showed it. “Just for that, it’s whatever you want for dinner when you get home tomorrow.” He let out a sigh. “The girls are fine,” he said in answer to Mike’s original text. “We had breakfast and Julien threw food at Lila. Not in a mean way, he was trying to share his cereal.”

“That’s kinda cute,” Mike said, trying to visualize it. He missed his girls, and Julien, too. “He’s going to love it when they’re big enough to play together.” He smiled briefly, before it turned into a frown. “Has Jason texted Ryan at all today?” he asked, keeping his voice low. “We talked a lot when I got here but nothing is really resolved. He’s been upstairs for the last few hours,” he admitted.

Chester turned his head to look at the open doorway. There was no sign of Ryan and Chester couldn’t hear anything other than Cheese snoring from her bed. “I know he texted him this morning about the plane ticket. Other than that, Ry hasn’t told me anything but he’s been on and off his phone all day, so I’m guessing they’re texting. I haven’t asked,” he admitted. “If it’s something he wants me to know, he’ll tell me.” Chester sucked in his lip ring as he looked back up at the ceiling. His legs were dangling off the side of the bed as he scratched his nails into the side of his shirt. “So it’s not going so great? Damn. I was hoping he’d cave the moment you showed up.”

“Honestly, me too,” Mike admitted. “I guess I was hoping he’d said something to Ryan. I’ve apologized, Ches, but it’s just not sinking in. And I don’t know what else to do. I’m not sure he’s going to want to come home with me tomorrow.” He pushed the glass of water away from him so he could lean over the bar on his elbow. “Even when I told him you guys were at the park, having a good time without us, he didn’t budge.”

That didn’t sound good, and Chester closed his eyes. I hated the distress in Mike’s voice. “Maybe he needs time to process whatever you guys talked about this morning,” he offered. “You know? And if that doesn’t work, you totally have my permission to tackle him onto the bed and shower him with kisses until he forgives you.” Chester smiled as he opened his eyes, imagining the scene in his head. “Overwhelm his defiance with your Sexy Boy charm.”

“We’ll see,” Mike said vaguely. “Maybe I’ll try to apologize again at dinner. There’s only so many ways I can say I’m sorry,” he told Chester. “I even told him that you and Ryan were willing to forgive my huge fuck up, but that wasn’t enough. I just can’t figure out what he’s wanting from me.” That wasn’t entirely true. Mike knew Jason wanted a commitment of some sort - he just didn’t know how to provide one that set Jason’s heart and mind at ease. “Should I take him out somewhere for dinner?” he asked Chester, trying to come up with something that would be meaningful.

“I think a nice dinner out is always a nice gesture,” Chester offered sincerely as he rubbed his stomach in soothing circles while he thought. He knew Mike would be coming home tomorrow - with or without Jason - and that knowledge had Chester all in for whatever it took for amends to be made. Besides, he knew his husband would be miserable until Jason finally came around. “There’s nothing wrong with taking him out on a date night,” he said as he sat up, his head rushing a little as he did. “And I’m sure Ry would be okay with it too. I know if it was me, I’d love to go have a candlelight dinner somewhere and eat something expensive like lobster, just to make you suffer,” he said with a laugh.

“You would pick something expensive,” Mike agreed with a smile. “But it would be worth it, because you wouldn’t be able to hold a grudge that long. Jay’s working on the start of week four being mad at me. Surely candlelight lobster will make him cave.”

“Go for it,” Chester encouraged as he stood up. “In fact I’m going to go find Ry right now and tell him you guys are going on a date. Oh and dancing!” he decided hurriedly as he made it down the hallway. “Go some place where you can have candlelight lobster and dancing. Make him dance,” he giggled before he stopped right in the middle of the living room. “Wait. Sorry, I forgot who we were supposed to be torturing with this. You. It’s supposed to be Jason ordering expensive lobster to torture you.” Chester rolled his eyes at himself before he headed for Ryan and Jason’s room. “Hang on, I’m trying to find Ry to make sure this date is okay.”

Mike sat up. “No dancing,” he said, looking up toward the bedroom. “Dancing is all you,” he reminded Chester. “I can get on board with dinner out, but dancing isn’t happening.” He traced shapes on the countertop while he thought about how he’d even pick out a place for dinner. “But you can ask if Jason has a favorite restaurant, or something. That would be helpful.”

Chester walked into the bedroom to see Ryan and Julien on the bed, watching cartoons. “Ry, I’m talking to Mike,” he said as he walked over and sat down on the bed. “Jason’s still not coming around, so we’re plotting for Mike to take him out for a dinner date. Candlelight and ordering expensive-ass lobster. Is that okay?”

Ryan sat up a little from where he’d been laying against the line of pillows, and he moved Julien with him, the boy half asleep. “Yeah, I don’t mind if they go out. And lobster’s always a great choice.”

“Mike wants to know what Jay’s favorite restaurant is.”

Ryan thought about that for a minute before he said, “Six Seven. It’s actually inside the Edgewater hotel, but it’s off one of the piers so you can see the water and the boats and stuff while you eat. But you’re inside so it’s not cold,” he explained. “And they have lobster. It’s kind of a romantic place. Especially at night because all the boats are lit up on the water.”

Mike could hear everything Ryan said. “It sounds nice,” he said before he picked at his jeans and flannel. “Naturally I didn’t bring anything nice to wear. I didn’t think I was going to have to wine and dine him,” he fretted. “Maybe I can talk him into letting me borrow a pair of pants. Ugh.”

Chester was back up on his feet. “Dammit. I wish I was there, I’d take you out shopping for a lobster dinner outfit.” His lips turned down into a pout. “But I’m sure Jason has something he can lend you. You guys are about the same size.”

“Jay will lend him something,” Ryan agreed with an encouraging nod. “And tell Mike to try the steak at Six Seven. It’s amazing.”

“Hear that, Sexy Boy? Ry says to try the steak if you’re not wanting lobster. And he said Jay would lend you something. I hope it goes well,” he offered, feeling a little let down that he wasn’t there to go with them. “If Ry and I were there, we’d go, too, for moral support.”

“I know you would,” Mike said. “And it would probably turn out better, to be honest. Hopefully I can get him to agree to even go. I’ll need to make a reservation,” he decided suddenly. “Ches, I’ll have to go so I can do that. I’ll keep you updated, though,” he added. “I’ll let you know if we’re going out or not. Cross your fingers for me.”

“I will. Good luck, Sexy Boy. I love you.”

“Love you, too,” Mike said, and then his screen went dark. Chester had hung up first, which was unusual, but MIke didn’t dwell on it. He pulled up his browser and typed in Six Seven. The pictures were even nicer than Mike expected, and he found the link to make reservations. There were only a few spots left, and Mike clicked on 5:30, hoping that Jason would say yes to an early dinner. I’ll just do it, and he’ll have to say yes, he decided, confirming the reservation before he opened another text message.

Mike: We’re going to dinner tonight. I made reservations for 5:30 at Six Seven.

He pressed send and listened to the chime on Jason’s phone ten seconds later. He rolled his eyes at the fact he was texting Jason when he was thirty feet away, but still watched his phone with his heart racing, waiting for the return text.

Jason: Do you even have clothes for that?

Mike scowled at the message. No, he didn’t have clothes. He didn’t know he was going to need formal wear for an apology.

Mike: No, but you do. I’ll wear anything you want me to, just say yes.

Upstairs, Jason was laying on his back, his book spread open on his chest while he texted over top of it. The idea to dress Mike up in his clothes was unreasonably appealing, and Jason loved Six Seven. He figured Ryan had something to do with the idea to go out, but that was fine. He wasn’t going to say no to Mike. It was clear he was trying, and Jason’s resolve not to give in was growing weaker by the minute.

He told Mike to come up and shower and he’d pick out some clothes, before he opened a text to Ryan.

Jason: Great dinner suggestion :) I love you and miss you like crazy.

The moment Ryan’s phone jingled with a text, he was reading it with a smile. He was happy his husband was okay with his involvement with everything so far. In his heart, he knew Jason wanted to forgive Mike, and in Ryan’s eyes, he was doing his part to help that along.

Ryan: I know it’s one of your favorites. I hope you guys have a nice time and can talk things out a little more. I miss you like crazy too. I’m sure there’s a seat on the plane next to Mike tomorrow if you want to come home and tell me in person how much you miss me.

Ryan hit send. Despite Jason being so far away, he felt good. He looked over at Chester, who had ended up back on the bed, laying on Jason’s pillow and watching cartoons. Julien was still fighting sleep and Ryan wasn’t sure if the boy would get his afternoon nap or not. He might just end up passing out early after dinner.

Jason: Things are looking good for me coming home tomorrow. Probably time for me to stop rescheduling my ticket.

“I hope that’s Jay saying good things,” Chester mumbled.

“He is. He’s going to go with Mike to Six Seven. Which, I knew he would. You can say what you want about Jason Akio, but he’s never one to pass up lobster.” Ryan smiled over at Chester. He looked comfortable laying on his side in his v-neck shirt and jeans. Cheese had managed her way onto the bed with them, and she was down at their feet, snoring away.

Ryan moved Julien, just enough to try and lay down a little more, and the boy sat up and rubbed his eyes. “You’re tired, buddy,” Ryan told him. “You haven’t had your nap yet after a big day at the park and lunch and playing games with Cheese earlier.”

“No,” Julien whined before he looked over and fell forward, right onto Chester’s side. “Chas,” he said through a yawn.

Chester had to laugh as he situated himself, rolling over onto his back so he could pull Julien a little closer. “Your daddy’s right. You’re so freaking tired. Give up and go to sleep,” he told the baby as he ran his hand through Julien’s dark hair. “We need to cut your hair. And mine too,” he decided off the cuff before looking over at Ryan. “How about it, Ry? Want to put me and Julien in your barber’s chair tomorrow and give us both a haircut?”

“You’re going to trust me with your hair?” Ryan laughed as he looked at Jason’s return text. He quickly shot off another message, encouraging his husband to stop messing with the airline's feelings and come home tomorrow to get all the kisses he’d missed this last week, before he set his phone down. “That was Jay, I think he’ll be coming home tomorrow.”

Chester looked up at Ryan’s bright blue eyes. “Yeah? He said that?” Chester’s forehead wrinkled with thought. “Because of candlelight lobster dinner?”

“No,” Ryan laughed as he scooted down on the bed a little more and reached for Chester’s head. He ran his fingers through the curly mohawk that was getting long. “I think he’s been ready to come home and having Mike there to pester him in person is doing the trick. I knew it would. My husband is rather fond of your husband.”

Chester’s eyes were shut as he stroked Julien’s hair and Ryan stroked his hair. “He is. I can’t blame him. My husband is pretty fucking awesome.”

Ryan smiled. “They both are. I’m happy they’re going to dinner. Was that your grand idea?”

“Mike said it in desperation and I told him to go for it. I did tell him to make it fancy and expensive and to let Jason order lobster somewhere by candlelight. So yeah,” Chester sighed, “it’s my fault.”

“You are the biggest instigator I know,” Ryan chuckled and he laughed even more when Chester went to protest. “I mean it in the best way, Chazzy. Calm down,” he told him and he was happy when Chester stayed where he was. Ryan was relaxed, laying in bed with Chester and Julien watching cartoons. “So what are we going to do for dinner? I’d take you out for lobster and candlelights, too, but we’ve got three kiddos that would make it really not romantic.”

“Yeah, I think we should stay in for dinner,” Chester agreed. “But we can order something fancy. And I can find us some candles if we want to be romantic after all the munchkins go to bed.”

That sounded perfect and Ryan was feeling even more excited. “I’m up for that.” He looked down at Julien, who still wasn’t sleeping. “This guy isn’t going to take a nap. Maybe he’ll go to bed a little early and we can have some extra adult time,” he said, making his voice go deep. He loved the smile it brought to Chester’s face. “And you don’t have to do anything, Chazzy. Let me surprise you,” Ryan offered quickly as he sat all the way up. “I’ll order dinner and surprise you and I’ll set the table and the candles and everything. You can just show up and be ready for a romantic dinner.”

Chester was looking up at the excited look on Ryan’s face. “I think that’s fucking perfect,” he agreed. “We’ve never done a romantic dinner at home, just you and me. Let’s do it. And I’ll let you surprise me on the food…even though that makes me a little nervous.”

Ryan leaned down, and kissed Chester on the lips. Julien was only inches away, so he kept it quick and chaste. “Don’t worry, Chester Bennington, I know what you like.”

****

TBC