Category Linkin Park

I Don't Know Why by A.N.

Notes: This is my very first Bennoda slash, ever, in the history of all my slash writing. Yeah, pretty big milestone, lol. I have no idea if I'll write more Bennoda, we'll see. But anyway, I was listening to "I Don't Know Why" by Imagine Dragons, and the idea for this popped into my head. It was also inspired by the recent interview Mike did with Kerrang. Please enjoy, and I'll be putting responses to your reviews at the end of the story as I receive them ;)


Mike always felt so lost and hopeless when he thought about Chester. He wished desperately that he could explain to himself why he needed him so badly. He could never find the answer, and it sent shivers down half of his body, while it made the other half of him feel sick.

When they'd first met, neither of them showed any sign of being into each other. They were polite, professional, well-behaved in all senses of the word. Mike had listened to Chester sing, and all he'd felt was impressed by him and wanting to hear more. He'd thought that the slightly older man would be a great addition to the band, and as time went on, a great friend.

As the days went by, he'd glance at Chester, and think to himself, "He's not a bad looking guy. If Anna wasn't my girlfriend, and he wasn't already married, I'd ask him out."

As the weeks went by, he'd scan Chester's body head to toe when he had his back turned. His butt was kind of cute, and as he walked, he'd sway side to side like he was dancing to music only he could hear. No one else in the band seemed to notice what Mike's eyes were doing, or the subtle flirting that was going on. After their first few months working together, he started to wonder if Chester walked this way on purpose just to entice him.

It was years before anything happened between them. There was a day when the two men hugged, and Mike felt himself grow warm from the close contact. He assumed, and kind of hoped, that Chester hadn't noticed. He certainly acted like he didn't notice.

Mike married Anna, Chester got divorced and remarried. Chester had another kid. Mike bought a new home. Everyone was acting like things were perfectly normal and serene, but in the back of Mike's mind, he'd think to himself, "If we weren't married, I'd do everything I could to be with him."

A decade into their career, and Mike set up a new home studio. He'd invite Chester over at every opportunity so that they could work on music. And they did make music, but it was really an excuse for Mike to hear Chester talk, laugh, sing, and see him strut his way around the studio. He'd sit there at his console, doing all the programming, pretending like he was distracted when his attention really was on his bandmate.

It wasn't like he didn't love his wife, because he did. It wasn't like their marriage was in shambles, because everything between them was going great. Their sex life was fantastic; always exciting and filled with new ideas. He was often satisfied after making love to Anna, and he knew he didn't need Chester. Well, he'd tell himself that he knew he didn't need Chester. He'd taught himself to believe his own lies over the last several years.

So one day when they were in Mike's studio, Chester blurted out, "I know why you asked me to come over."

"Huh?" Mike asked, turning around in his chair and staring back at his friend. Chester was sitting on the couch, his arms resting on the back of it, and his knees far apart. Mike couldn't help looking down for a split second at the not-so-obvious bulge in his friend's pants. He corrected his gaze immediately, and figured there's no way that the singer would have noticed. Until he smiled.

"Would you just come over here and blow me already? I know that's what you wanna do." Chester said, his voice confident, but also a little sexually frustrated.

"Uh, what?" Mike asked again, in pure shock. His body felt tense, like his insides were going to explode. He wanted very badly to crawl right over to Chester, unzip his pants, wrap his lips around his hot cock and send him into pure, throbbing bliss. But like always, he was going to play it cool, and pretend like the attraction wasn't real.

"Or I could come over there and suck you off, which I'm totally open to doing." Chester said, trying to get the ball rolling.

"That's not a good idea." Mike said, then turned back around. That's it, he'd just move on like this wasn't actually happening. Like Chester wasn't sitting behind him, looking so delicious and ready for the taking, just offering himself up like it was no big deal.

"Why not? Anna's not here. You don't have to worry about her knowing." Chester said.

Mike shut his eyes and sighed in frustration. "Look," He started, but paused.

"Yeah?" Chester encouraged him to keep talking.

"I want to, but I'm not going to." Mike said.


"I don't know why." Mike answered.

Silence fell in the room and neither of them moved. Mike took a deep breath, but his chest jerked hard as he did. He squeezed the arm of his chair with his right hand so tightly that his knuckles started to turn white. He kept breathing deep, trying to force his body to calm down.

"Mike, are you okay?" Chester asked. No answer. "Sorry, I shouldn't have done that. Let's just forget it ever happened. I'll go record those vocals and-"

"Fuck it." Mike said to himself. He jumped up from his seat, making the chair skid backward and thump against the desk. He beelined for Chester, pushing his body against him, and slamming their lips together. His lips practically engulfed the singer's, catching him off guard and making him tremble wildly.

Mike pulled back, and Chester exclaimed, "Whoa, what are you doing?"

"This." Mike said, then undid the zipper on Chester's jeans. In one motion he yanked the jeans and underwear down, exposing his bandmate's member which was growing harder by the second.

Before Chester had a chance to react, Mike's mouth wrapped around his cock and sucked hard. He gasped and cried out, as the warm and wet mouth went forward and backward with such precision that it was hard to believe Mike hadn't blown another man since high school. "Uh, shit Mike, that's good..." Chester's voice pierced the room, clearly loving the sensation of Mike's soft lips and strong tongue having their way with him.

Mike made a noise that sounded like yum, and he hummed a little, which sent vibrations of pleasure along Chester's length. The older man arched his back, and made plenty of his own noises. "Yeah, right there, ooh!" That high pitched 'ooh' made Mike reach down and start stroking himself through his jeans. Chester's head leaned back, and more of those sweet 'ooh' sounds echoed into the room. He clumsily grasped Mike's forearm with his right hand, and squeezed tight as his whole length disappeared into the emcee's mouth.

Mike undid his pants and yanked his length free from its constraints, then started to pump himself hard. Chester didn't notice that his friend's moans and yummy sounds were because he was pleasuring himself, while getting a delightful taste of the hot precum coating his tongue. He stroked furiously, sending crazy feelings all over his groin and making himself shake with anticipation of the orgasm that was threatening to creep up on him.

Chester kept on moaning and swearing, filling the room with his voice. Mike's lips just felt so incredibly good, and he was happy that the emcee had changed his mind. "You're so good at this." Chester said.

Mike stroked himself harder, and sucked harder to the same rhythm as his hand. Chester was so tasty, a little salty, but also sweet and savory. There was just something about him that made his mouth sing from the flavor. He kept on going, salivating at the tastiness, hungrily devouring it all as a blazing fire erupted between his legs.

Chester didn't realize at first why Mike paused for a second, made a few sharp moans, breathed fast and heavy, before he continued sucking. He lifted his head, and stared down at the emcee. Their eyes met, and Mike's expression said everything. The man looked so relaxed now, like a blanket of tension and stress had been lifted off of him. "Gimme." Chester said, holding out his hand.

Mike had a delayed reaction, because he couldn't tell what Chester was demanding from him. Once it hit him, he gave the older man his hand, who pulled it up, and leaned forward to lick the spots and streaks of come away. Mike couldn't help but be turned on by watching his friend taste him, while hearing the sound of his lips and tongue lapping up every drop. "Yummy." Chester said, though his voice was breathy and moist.

Finally he couldn't take it anymore. Mike's hungry mouth was just too much. He threw his head back again and moaned, and his muscles locked up. His mouth hung open, and he could hardly breathe as his own orgasm creeped up on him. Suddenly he was so quiet, as he throbbed hard and fast, his milky essence squirting into Mike's mouth in thick streams.

Mike hadn't expected such a big load, and had to work hard to swallow it all. It was so delicious, so silky smooth that it made him shut his eyes and take in the moment. He gulped down most of it, while the rest coated his lips. He pulled his mouth back, then licked his lips to get every single drop into his mouth. Chester watched him with lust filled eyes as he wiped his upper lip with his fingers, then sucked the remaining bits of come into his mouth.

Neither man said a word, and they just stared at each other. Suddenly a decade of fantasies and desires had erupted into one moment, and they both had no idea what they were supposed to do next.

As Mike sat in his studio, he thought back on that first moment with Chester, and smiled. He didn't regret it at all. He didn't care that they were both married. He didn't care that they could have ruined their marriages, their careers, everything over a hot and steamy blowjob.

He didn't care that a few days after that, he'd invited Chester back to the studio, and fucked him like a crazy animal on that couch. Then a week later, they'd rolled around on the floor, giggling and making out, until Chester rode him hard and fast. But his favorite had been when he let the singer fuck him for the first time.

Mike whipped off his pants and boxers, leaving only his socks behind. He sat up on the desk, which made Chester grin happily and lick his lips. He yanked off his shirt next, giving the singer full view of his naked form.

Chester was taken aback for a moment, since Mike usually kept his clothes partially on while they fucked. He'd never been this open and ready for the taking before. He stared, and it was a hard stare that made Mike even more excited. "Like what you see?" The emcee asked with a seductive voice.

"Hm, maybe." Chester teased. He pulled off his shirt, dropped his pants and white, rose covered underwear, and kicked them away like he was punishing the fabric for being on his body. He pulled Mike close, so that his butt was barely resting on the edge of the desk.

Mike murmured softly when Chester's lips kissed his throat, then moved down his chest a little bit. Gently, the singer wrapped up his lover in his arms, and lowered his back onto the hard wood. He carried his hands along his sides and under his rear, so he could lift it and position himself at the emcee's opening.

Chester quickly licked his left hand several times, coating it with his saliva and then stroking his length. Once he knew he was wet enough, he pushed into Mike's tight opening. The emcee let a soft moan escape from his mouth, while his head dipped over the edge of the desk. Chester thrust forward, gently, and moaned from the feeling of the tight and moist cavity constricting his length. "That's so hot." Chester said, while he squeezed Mike's rear.

Mike moaned more when the tip of Chester's cock hit his prostate. He felt his body sing from the pleasure, and he whined softly. He liked the pace the older man was going. Not too fast, and not too slow. "Harder..." He begged though. He wanted to feel that hard member hitting his favorite spots with way more force than what the singer was using. "That's it, oh yes, more..." Mike panted, as Chester hit his spot with just the right amount of pressure to send a wonderful sensation up his spine.

Chester was quiet, which was atypical from their usual experiences. Mike had learned that his lover was loudest when he was the submissive one, and much more focused when he was the one giving the pleasure. Atypical maybe, but certainly fitting to his personality. That man was always much more attentive to other people than to himself.

As Chester rocked into Mike, the wood rubbed against his back. His skin was starting to become slick with sweat, and that made him slide against the hard surface with each thrust. He liked this position a lot. He liked how dirty it was, because they were having sex on a desk that was frequently used by everyone in the band. And he loved that Chester was willing to fuck him on top of it.

Every time Mike's spot was pounded against, he'd shudder and moan. He liked it so much, and he couldn't help the swears and various moans that were leaking out of his mouth. His lips were drying from every time he breathed heavy, and he sloppily licked them, only to find them dry again a moment later. It was all just too good. He squirmed side to side, and begged Chester to keep going. "I want you to come so deep inside me." He said, his voice a little ragged and heavily aroused. "Make me yours."

Chester thrust faster now, while still hitting Mike in that spot he liked the most. The emcee's hips bucked randomly, and his moans became nothing but sounds instead of words. Those moans mixed with more panting, sending his body into a total meltdown. A loud, thick moan blasted from his mouth, and he pulsated so intensely until his seed gushed out onto his length and belly. He shivered, and he didn't have the strength to look up and see for sure, but he knew he'd come much harder than he'd ever done before. "Uh, you make me feel so good." Mike said, still moaning a little, and a few tremors erupting along his arms and legs.

Chester loved the sight before him. Mike looked so delicious, all hot and bothered as he pounded into him. He wanted to hold out, to just do this for eternity, but he knew he couldn't. His muscles were starting to burn, especially his inner thighs. "Oh fuck Mike!" He exclaimed, while a thick heat crawled along his length and forced him to throb just as intensely as Mike had. "Fuck!" He shouted again, as his come poured into the man before him.

Mike could still remember that feeling. The way that hot, sticky come squirted into him and made him feel so good and wet inside. He always came extra hard when he was with Chester. He liked to think that the reason why his lover had such big loads was because he was fucking him. He liked to think that he was the only one who could get such a reaction out of the singer.

It started to become commonplace after a while. Once, when Anna had been at a writer's conference, Chester had come over for some playtime. Mike had begged Chester to be the one to fuck him, to make his insides feel all sticky and wet again. The singer did, and Mike swore that he'd come more than ever before that time.

While they were snuggled up together, Chester said to him, "Ya know, you've never told me why you've been so into me for so long."

"I don't know why." Mike said. "But," He started. Chester listened closely, because he truly wanted to know why Mike needed him so much. "I guess it's got something to do with you."

"That makes absolutely no fucking sense!" Chester said as he started to laugh. Mike laughed with him, which made the singer's laughter get louder and louder until he was turning red and could barely breathe.

That laughter vibrated in Mike's mind. He'd never forget that moment, or any of the other moments they'd shared. He wanted to get those moments back, but he knew that those moments were gone for good. They'd never laugh together again, tease each other, fuck hard and wild, or stand on stage side by side ever again. They'd never make music together, sit extra close during interviews, or travel together again. It was all gone.

Two weeks since Chester's death, sitting his in studio alone and watching the sun drift in through the windows, and he still didn't have an answer as to why he needed Chester so much.


More notes: Thank you for the reviews! As promised, I've got responses to them below:

@Stefuh: I wasn't expecting a Bennoda one-shot from myself, either, lol. I Don't Know Why is one of their newer songs, and it's not a single. My interpretation is that it's about an affair. That's pretty much what led me to writing this ;D

@MissDomho: Thanks! It is very outside my comfort zone, but, it was fun for me to write. I think I needed the change of pace :D

@malaiyas: I'm glad you liked this :) When I was writing this, I did it in a somewhat subconscious way. I wasn't thinking about unfinished business until halfway through writing, which is when I made the conscious decision to go that route. And I'm typically more subconscious about my stories, so this was very new for me.

@Penelope_Ink: Oh, it's my guilty pleasure too. I read Bennoda often, because I really like reading it. And lol, I feel like Chester would be that way, to just get things going rather than beat around the bush. I felt really awful for Mike though, after reading that interview. Like, I really appreciate his bravery in doing it, but I understand what he's going through. Thanks for the feedback, you're awesome!

@lpfan503: Aw, thank you! That's awesome that you liked the scene of them on the desk. I was really curious what people would think about that. I wasn't too sure if I described it well enough, so what you said really makes me feel better about how I wrote it :D

@Esmeralda: Hi! Thank you for reading this story! That's what I had in mind, cause Mike doesn't seem to me like someone who'd make a move, he'd wanna do everything to keep his shit together, cause that's the kind of control freak he is, lol. I can't say for sure if I'll write more Bennoda, but I'll definitely consider it.

@Violet Raven: Wow, thank you for such a thoughtful review! After that interview he did, it was really easy for me to picture him sitting in that studio alone, thinking about everything he'd been through, and trying to figure out where the hell he's supposed to go. Glad you enjoyed the slash too, it was actually really hard for me to write ;)

@SonataNocturne: Thank you so much!!! Seems that a few people have enjoyed the on the desk moment. I'll remember that for the future ;D