I wrote this because I wanted to kiss..someone today. So instead, Brad got to kiss Mike.

One Last Kiss

I knocked on the door of my own house, choking back tears. Mike answered in a heartbeat; his eyes were red like he'd been crying. Because of me, of course.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He wiped his nose with the back of his hand, trying to glare at me but instead biting his lip as his body shook with a sob.

"I-I..." I looked at the ground, noticing how things blurred with my tears. "I miss you," I said in the smallest voice possible.

To my surprise, he stepped sideways and I walked inside, standing there with him as he shut the door. I wiped my own tears and looked at him. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry, oh god." My body shook and he hugged me tight. I shook my head against his chest. I don't deserve comfort. Why is he doing this? Why doesn't he hate me like I hate myself?

"Shhh, Brad, it's okay." He patted me on the back as I clung to him. After a few moments my legs almost gave out from exhaustion and he walked me to our bedroom.

I sat on the bed and put my face in my hands, wiping them on my jeans seconds later because they were soaked with tears. I felt him sit next to me and I looked up to meet his eyes. He was so defeated, so exhausted. I could tell he'd been crying a lot, just as I had been. He looked back at me but was blurred as I cried harder.

"Why don't you hate me?" I sniffed and tried to hold back sobs so we could have a conversation.

His brow furrowed. "Why would I hate you? You know I could never possibly hate you."

"Are you serious? This is all my fault, Mike. Please don't tell me you blame yourself."

He looked to his lap. "I do blame myself. I can't blame you and I have to blame something."

"Blame me!" I put my hand on his knee but instantly retracted it after realizing what I did. "I'm the fucked-up one here."

He shook his head. "No, you're not fucked up. Don't say that." He sniffed and wiped his snot on his sleeve. "Why are you here, Brad?"

I looked down to my lap and laid back on the bed, looking at the ceiling I remember staring at as Mike rode me, sucked me off, cuddled with me. "I miss you. I'm afraid to be alone." I looked up at him, watching his tears flow freely."I'm sorry I came. I should go." I went to get up but he pushed me back down, laying beside me.

"I miss you too." He leaned halfway over my body, holding me down. "You're not alone. Thank you for coming here." He rested his head on my shoulder and I reached a shaking hand to mesh my fingers in his hair. He didn't jump or tense so I let my hand stay there, lightly pulling him closer to me.

"You don't have to say it back but I love you," I whispered. He nodded against my chest. "And I miss kissing you." I said it in such a low voice under my breath that I knew he couldn't possibly have heard me.

He sighed and curled up against me. Both of our sobs were dying down and soon I heard him snoring softly. I smiled and let myself doze off.

-

I giggled in my sleep and was jolted awake as I realized where I was. Mike was laying almost completely on top of me, his head buried in my neck, his breath tickling me. I couldn't tell if he was asleep or not until I heard a soft hiccup. Tears rolled down my neck into my shirt and I felt nails clawing at my sides.

"Mike?"

He tensed up and pressed himself harder against me. "Please don't go I'm not ready for you to go yet please don't leave me," he mumbled childishly into my shirt.

This made me cry but I held it back. "I'm not going to leave you until you tell me to." I felt him nod and hiccup again, crying harder. "Mike, please look at me."

He leaned up so our faces were a few inches apart. His tears were falling on my nose and cheeks, his hair messed up from sweat, his face red from crying. He looked utterly beautiful.

"I love you." I looked from his eyes to his lips, knowing I'd never feel them against my own. This realization made my face scrunch together and I sobbed quietly, pulling him down between my legs and hiding my face in his neck.

My entire body was shaking, and because I was clinging to him, his was too. "I'm sorry I took you for granted."

"You did," he hushed in my ear.

"I'm sorry I hurt you."

"You did."

"I'm sorry I disappointed you."

"You did."

I sniffed, wiping my nose on the hem of his shirt. "I'm sorry I got snot on your shirt."

He lifted up and looked at me, smiling softly. I smiled too, still crying but somehow feeling better. He leaned in so our noses were touching and my breath caught.

"I miss kissing you," I mumbled breathlessly, knowing what was about to happen.

"I heard you the first time." His breath fanned my lips and I could almost taste him.

"Can I kiss you, Mike?"

He shook his head. "I don't know if that's a good idea." He shifted in my eyes, our bodies molding easily together. My heart beat faster as I could feel his pounding against my chest.

"One last kiss...please Mike..." I begged him, squeezing him tight in my arms.

"I don't know--" He stopped midsentence as he lost his balance and our lips met, just barely. My entire body shook as I tasted and smelled only him. I looked at him for a moment, only to find his eyes closed and his breathing shallow.

I closed my eyes too and leaned forward so our mouths were together. My tongue licked his lips slowly and he opened his mouth, but I knew to just revel in his taste and not go any further.

He sobbed in my arms, his hand cupping my cheek as he pressed our lips together, his body shaking. I could taste salt but I was unsure whether it was from my tears or his.

We stayed like that for a long time, him on top of me, our lips together yet somehow apart, sharing our breaths. I clung to him for dear life, feeling him do the same. We both needed this. We needed it so much.

"I love you," I whispered, his mouth surrounding mine as I formed the words.

He nodded and pulled away, hiding his face in my neck. Chills ran down my spine as I felt him kiss the skin there softly. I knew this was the last time I would ever hold him like this.

"I'm sorry." He nodded again before I felt him go limp in my arms. I nodded myself before letting sleep take me as well.

Oneshot.