Here's the challenge fic for HybridDialectfic. I'm posting this from my phone because my internet is broken...anyway...this story is really weird and fucked up. It's also pretty rough.

The challenge was to take a list of words that sounded like a certain genre, but use them in a completely different genre. My list of words is below. I scrunched most of them all into one part so I wouldn't have to worry about it. I also wrote in second person for the first time...

Hyper, sugar, antics, lighthearted, hysterical, scheme

Meow

"Meow."

"Hi Kitty!"

"Meow."

You pet your gray, overfed cat as you lie on your couch, watching a rerun of House. "Kitty do you think Brad loves me?"

"Meow."

"I think he does Kitty. I think he loves me lots and lots."

Your cat jumps on top of you and lies on your chest.

"I know he loves me, Kitty. Especially when he's drunk, and he's all hyper around me."

Your cat starts kneading your stomach, purring, as if agreeing with you.

"You see, Kitty, I have this scheme. I want Brad all to myself."

You focus for a second on the show. It's a recently new episode; the patient is a basket case, and Thirteen is struggling with her.

"Are you threatened by me?" the patient says to Thirteen.

You laugh at how crazy the patient seems, then turn back to your cat. "Back to my scheme, Kitty. Tomorrow night is his birthday party. I'm going to get him all amped up on sugar and vodka. Then everyone will leave, and once he passes out I'm gonna take him back here. Isn't that a good plan, Kitty?"

"Meow."

You smile as your handsome cat lies on your stomach, purring and looking up at you lovingly. "I love you, Kitty. You always know just what I'm saying and you always agree."

"Meow."

You seem to take this as a "I love you too" and pet her on the head. "I wish you were Brad sometimes, Kitty. I love him. Don't you think we'd be great together?"

"Meow."

You laugh. "You're hysterical, Kitty. Of course we'd be great together. We're perfect for each other!"

She closes her eyes and purrs as you stroke her lightheartedly.

"I can't wait for tomorrow night, Kitty. I'm going to make love to Brad for the first time."

The show went to a commercial, and you get a text from a number you don't recognize.

I know of your plan, Mike, and I want in.

Who is this?

You know damn well who this is. I'll meet you at your place tomorrow night.

Who is this??

Five minutes ran by, another hour. No reply. All you can do is wait.

....

"Rob?"

You open the door to find the drummer soaking wet on your porch, looking agitated.

"No, it's the pizza girl." He brushes past you into the house, tracking mud and cursing under his breath. "Jesus Christ, where the fuck did all this rain come from?"

"Meow!"

Your homely gray kitty runs to Rob and attempts to climb up his leg, eliciting a groan from the drummer. "Mike! I thought you got rid of this damned stray!"

You gasp at your friend's rudeness and clutch Kitty to your chest. "I couldn't, she's so cute and she loves me."

Rob rolls his eyes as you shut the door and put Kitty down. A solemn silence falls upon you both as you realize what Rob is here for.

"I--"

"Where's Brad?"

You swallow. "In my bedroom. Rob--"

"Is he awake?"

"He's passed out. Listen--"

"Mike, I'm not talking about this. As far as I'm concerned, this never happened. We don't know each other. Don't even call me Rob. Tomorrow we go back to being Rob and Mike, two guys in Linkin Park. But tonight, we're strangers who are taking advantage of a hot guy we've both had our eyes on for quite some time now."

You simply nod and allow your friend to lead the way to your bedroom.

You've prepared for this night; the lights are off, and as cliche as it is, candles are burning and some light, sensual music from a cd you bought at walmart is playing. Brad is lying on your bed, butt-naked and ass in the air. Lube and condoms are displayed on your nightstand, and a ready-to-go camcorder is on a tripod at the front of the bed.

Rob turns to you with a wink as he sheds his clothes, and you follow suit.

"You go first." He nods to you, and you climb onto your bed and immediately sheath yourself in your friend. You thrust into his warm body, watching carefully as Rob climbs on the bed beside you and starts to jack himself off. You swallow and decide to give him a good show; you throw your head back and moan, long and low, and start thrusting harder, faster, and deeper. You feel a pair of lips on your neck, sucking and nipping and biting until a mark is left.

Suddenly, Rob grabs you and throws you down on the bed by Brad, taking your entire erection in his mouth and moaning so you can feel the vibrations on your head. This is all you need and you cum hard in his mouth.

He pulls back and takes Brad for himself, laying him on his side and quickly thrusting in and out.

Brad is out cold; he had a lot to drink. Both of you know that he won't remember this. It's between the two of you forever.

You watch Rob moan Brad's name over and over again as he cums in him. You feel yourself get hard again at the sight, and when Rob pulls out you catch him in a heated kiss and thrust your hips into his roughly, causing you to cum over the both of you.

Rob just grins and licks it off your hips. You giggle at his antics.

Silently, he turns Brad onto his back and pulls the covers over him. You both get dressed and you walk him to the door. He nods to you and leaves without a word.

You return to your couch, with Kitty close behind. "I told you I'd get him, Kitty."

"Meow."

Fin

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