I had it in mind for a while. Hope you'll like it.

CHESTER POV:

I look at the sky, black, starless and yet so beautiful to me.

Why are my tears falling again? Was my life supposed to be this way from the moment i first took a breathe?

Normal is what you make it, life is what you make it...

love is what you make it. Is it my fault then? Can i change things?

Do i want to?

Normality always had scared me, I didn't want to live in the same place all my life, didn't want to say the same things, to the same persons, with the same hypocritical smile. Life seemed so unfair to me, i didn't understand people, society, i've always thought it was stupid. I felt so far away from everyone. I wanted to be different, I was angry against the whole world, I've took the wrong paths, i've refused to follow the cattle no matter what, I've never gave a damn about anything, anyone, not even for myself. Just to shock, to stand out from the pack, I've pierced my bottom lip, my ears, I had tatoos, I even came to drugs.

Yet, whatever i could do i was scared, scared about the simpliest facts of life, I didn't want to marry, argue with my wife as i've seen my parents do, getting used to it and take it as nothing more than a habit, didn't want to have a well-ordered life, have kids, see them grow up to hate me as i've hated my own parents, and then go away, without a gaze. And then I would die, done with the business of life. It was one of the scarriest things ever to me, and the fact was that this is the life, nothing more and nothing less.

Somehow I married a woman, two women, I've divorced twice.

I had kids, I lost them, twice, taken away by my ex-wives.

And I've regressed, regressed to this stage where i thought about life just as a road until death.

Am i strange? Is something wrong with me so that i can't think just like everyone do? I'll never know anyway right?

I guess I shouldn't complain that much, after all i'm a rockstar, the singer of one of the most famous band of my generation.

A reddish light just passed in the dark sky, like a single hope in a drak hole, a plane probably.

I'm taking a plane tomorrow, the show ended with tonight's show, we're going back to L.A, going back home. But can I call it a home?

I'm all alone there, nobody's waiting for me, nobody's missing me. Alone with my shadow, the shadow of my past, and the silence, the kind of silence that make you feel cold in summer.

I'm shivering now, I didn't take my jacket. Pain, do i ever stop feeling it? I wanna scream at the top of my lungs. When we die surely pain, cold, loneliness, it all go away. I've always been intrigued by death, why he and not her? why now and not ten years sooner?

Some say that life and death are totally oposite, but i think they have at least one thing in common, they are unfair, always were and always 'll be. I could die now, i could slit my wrists, something so easy to do. But why leaving a place where I don't think i'll ever belong in to go to a place where this word probably doesn't even exist?

I've wanted to belong, god, I still want to, it's the one thing i've never ceased to search, I would sell my soul for it: somewhere i belong.

I hear a voice, calling me. Mike. I've somehow felt like i could belong anywhere with someone to love, someone who love me. Anyone.

Mike told me he loved me, just after the show, three words in a whisper, his eyes were the most sincere i've ever seen.

It was beautiful, he was beautiful.

Suddenly Mike is in front of me, smiling softly.

He's coming to know. Know if I want to be with him, if I want to make him happy. I haven't decided yet, I need one last thing to know.

I look up at the deep, dark brown pools in front of me, i could stay so long like this, just studying his eyes. They are full of tears, and suddenly i feel what i hadn't sincerely feel for years, care...love.

I don't even bother to answer, I kiss him. I want to wash away his pain, he understand me better than anyone. He is the closest to me.

Slowly i close my eyes, as our tongue meet again, i realized.

I found it, somewhere i belong.