They laugh at you, they mock you. You feel ridiculous and humiliated. You can feel your cheeks are bright red and hot, and no, it isn’t because of the cold air… Does anyone else notice all the cold water that has seeped into your jeans from all the times that you fell over? Do they even care? You just guess that is what happens when you go ice skating with the guys. Joe isn’t that great either though. He stumbles every now and then… But so far you’re the only one who’s actually fallen over. Then Chester... god, how anyone could have more fucking balance and grace is far beyond you. It makes you feel even more inferior, if that was even possible. As you watch them, you lose your concentration and wipe out for the, fifth time is it? As your knee smashes into the ground you grunt with pain. Then you see Mike spin around from behind you and start skating backwards, while he laughs at the fact you fell. Rob and Pheonix come around and help you up, smiling at the fact that you crashed again. Then they race off, leaving you behind.

You aren’t so upset at them though. Your anger is at Chester. He has to know he looks like a god on skates. His legs cross and in the blink of an eye he is going the other direction. You don’t even know how he managed that. Then you see Joe again, he tried to turn gracefully and ended up doing an awkward jagged sort of stunt, which would have left him flat on his face if Mike hadn’t grabbed his shoulder. They were both laughing at what Joe had done. How on earth did he find fucking humor in his own mistake? Infuriated you go far more quickly now, and for a moment you are going smoothly and in horror you realize you don’t know how to properly stop… And there is no way that you could pull off a turn, yet you try. You suddenly recognize that you are headed in the direction of doing the same thing that Joe has just done. You flail your arms about trying to stop this from happening, when you’re really only making it worse. Lifting up one foot, you attempt to slam your toe-pick into the ice so that you can feel something stable. Now you’re really scared, you can feel your heart rate speeding up? What do you do? What can you do? There is no one there to catch your shoulder so you won’t crash into the ice. You quickly slam into the wall of the rink and grab the edge of it so there is something solid in your grasp, now you don’t have to worry about depending only on slippery frozen ground to support you.

Chester skates over and you listen to him ask if you’re ok. No, you bitterly reply and he acts slightly hurt when he skates away. What does he know or care? He probably could skate as beautifully as he does now, five minutes after he put his first pair of skates on. Screw him; he doesn’t know how you feel. You lean against the wall and pull your iPod out of the back pocket of your jeans. You acknowledge with a start that you must have fallen on it at some point today. Your headphones are crushed and when you try to play music on them all you get is static, and maybe a hazy inaudible vocal, or guitar riff. You sigh; at least the iPod itself is fine. Shoving it back in your pocket you watch as everyone else skates around the rink. Why did Mike even suggest this? And why did you resign to going? You knew it wouldn’t be fun, you know you can’t skate. If these had been skateboards, now then you would have kicked their sorry asses. Somehow though, when someone stuck two pieces of metal to your feet and said ‘skate’, there was no way in hell you could do it.

Taking a deep breath you ready yourself to skate out again, then you see Chester jump upwards and do a single spin in the air. Not exactly the stuff of Olympic champions, but enough to make you harshly jealous. Chester does a hockey stop and starts talking to Mike across the rink. You can see Mike’s laugh and yet you can’t hear it. With surges of anger pulsing through your veins you race towards Chester, just like you did before when you couldn’t stop, but now there is no need to stop. You’re smooth until a fraction of a second before you hit Chester. You don’t want to do this to him, he was being helpful, and it wasn’t like he was the one mocking you, right? He had come over to see if you were alright. He doesn’t deserve your anger, your jealousy. But it’s too late for second thoughts. You tried to stop, you tried to veer off the side, but you only end up slamming into him with extra force. It’s over. You ran into Chester, and it must have hurt him, because it certainly hurt you.

You get to your feet and find yourself unharmed besides the fact that you are sore. You go to check on Chester, apologize for what you did. But now people are gathering around, people you don’t know and people you do know. This time there isn’t going to be a chance to say you’re sorry. Chester isn’t standing up, isn’t moving, and his head is at an impossible angle on the ice.

......... so?