Mike was deeply contemplating the merits of Coke vs. Mountain Dew, standing slightly bent over, supporting himself with one hand on the open fridge door, when he felt a pair of arms come sliding around his middle.

His breath caught briefly, surprised at the unannounced contact. His body stiffened as he straightened up. A brief glance down confirmed what he had already guessed.

“Jesus Chester, I wish you would stop doing that.”

The irritation in Mike’s voice was obvious but the owner of the roaming arms made no effort to draw away as the hands at the end of them settled in place and two sets of fingers intertwined across his stomach.

Mike raised both his arms in the air. A gesture designed to give his captor space to move clear and also signal his desire to limit bodily contact.

The voice he heard in response to his own had a drawn out, dream-like quality to it.

“Mmmm…Mikey just give me a minute…just a coupla minutes. So fuckin’tired…can’t stand up without…”

“Chester!” The object of Mike’s increasing irritation had stopped mid-sentence and laid his head on Mike’s back. Mike quickly realized that if he didn’t do something soon Chester was going to be taking a little snooze right where he was half standing, half leaning against Mike.

Mike grabbed both of Chester’s wrists and pulled his arms free of his waist. Feeling Chester move backwards, separating them, Mike was satisfied that Chester was going to stand on his own and he let go of his arms. Removing a can of Coke from the fridge he turned and frowned at a bemused Chester before walking past him to one of sofas in their dressing room and flopping down to drink his Coke in what he hoped would be piece and quiet.

Chester was tired; well he wasn’t the only one. After traveling all day they had just finished a three hour rehearsal at the venue they were playing at tomorrow night and all Mike wanted to do was go to sleep for at least a good solid eight hours. Unfortunately Brad and Dave had wanted a bit more practice time which they had eventually talked the rest of the band – minus Mike and Chester - into. So they were stuck here for another hour until they were able to go back to their hotel for the night.

Mike was just contemplating making a move to his bunk on the bus when he felt the sofa sag next to him. Chester, momentarily forgotten, had joined him. Mike supported his head in one hand propped up on one side of the sofa and sipped at his Coke, staring blankly at an imaginary spot across the room.

After a few minutes of precious silence Chester couldn’t keep quiet any longer.

“Um…Mike?”

Reluctantly Mike growled a muffled “what?” half into the palm of his hand.

It had the desired affect. Chester got the message that Mike wasn’t much up to chit chat.

“Nothing…doesn’t matter...” Chester’s voice trailed off as he turned his head away and folded his arms across his chest, almost trying to shrink out of sight form his band mate.

Mike heard the slightly dejected tone and felt a pang of guilt. It was easy to snap at someone when you were tired. Hell, Chester had done it to him enough times and he hated it. Part of living in close quarters with five other guys for so long meant you learned to be at least civil most of the time. There wasn’t really much choice. He lifted his head from his supporting hand, which took a bit more effort than he had been anticipating, and turned to look at Chester. Letting out a light sigh he tried to form as much of a smile as he could manage without his face breaking from the strain.

“Hey Chaz – I’m sorry. I’m fucking tired too man. So what were you going to say?”

The tone was as soft as he could manage. Chester brought his gaze back in Mike’s direction. He just stared at Mike for a moment prompting Mike to let out a quiet ‘hmmm?’ to coax Chester into talking to him.

“It’s just; well, I’m sorry about before.”

Mike had to think for a minute. What was Chester apologizing for? Oh. Yeah, that’s right. Mike felt his body stiffening again remembering Chester’s attempts to use him as a human mattress. Chester was well known for his touchy feely antics with his band members but it didn’t mean Mike was completely comfortable with it.

He tried to keep his expression neutral as he let out a tight lipped “s’ok, forget about it.”

Chester looked in no way convinced as Mike watched his eye-brows furrow together slightly. Damn. He wasn’t really in the best frame of mind for this right now. If he had been feeling a bit more awake he could have at least faked a bit more conviction in his response and then that mercifully could have been the end of that. Yes, the truth was Mike had a problem with Chester touching him so much. If pushed about it he was pretty sure he would tell Chester exactly that, and not be inclined to spare any of his feelings in the process.

“It’s not ok though is it?” Chester’s voice had dropped several octaves as he sat at the other end of the sofa reading Mike’s reaction carefully. He now seemed wide awake.

“Mike I know what I do. Don’t think I fucking don’t. That’s the way I am and I can’t honestly see that ever changing. I know sometimes you guys get sick of me being all over you on stage – and off stage too. Everyone’s usually good about it though. I mean – yeah – you all pretend to be pissed at me, but if any of you really had a problem you’d tell me right?”

“Hurry up and get where you’re going with this Chester.” Mike just wanted out of this conversation.

“Where I’m going is…no one has ever said they have a problem but it’s kinda hard not to read someone’s body language. It speaks pretty loudly when it wants to.”

Mike just watched Chester through tired eyes hoping for some point to be reached soon.

“You have a problem with me getting close to you.” A direct statement and not a question though Mike answered it as one nonetheless.

“I don’t have a problem with you Chester; I have a problem with people in general getting in my personal space like that.” Mike recognized the lie only after he had said it aloud. It had sounded like something he should say. The equivalent to ‘it’s not you it’s me’. But in fact he was having a hard time trying to think of anyone who made him feel the way Chester did when they touched him. Why was he only just realizing this? He guessed he’d never really thought about it before. He had only ever wanted to get away from the uncomfortable feeling that took over when Chester was too close. And that involved not thinking about why it was he reacted this way. Now that he was thinking about it he was at a loss. His argument of not being a touchy person did not entirely wash. He could name a lot of friends, both male and female, who over the years had been just as hands on with him as Chester was being. He could only liken the feelings of discomfort he felt around Chester to something he may have felt with some of the females in his past that had eventually become his girlfriend. Fuck. That couldn’t be it of course. Chester was a male. Mike wasn’t gay. Best just forget about that little comparison. But unfortunately it was going to nag Mike now. There was no denying that Chester caused a reaction in him that was unique. He didn’t have to know why though. Did he? He’d lived quite happily not thinking about it for years now after all.

“Hmmn.” Chester wrapped his arms across his middle again and just sat and glared at Mike clearly not satisfied with his response. Mike waited for the inevitable follow-up. He could see things ticking over in Chester’s mind.

“Why are you lying to me for fucks sake?” Chester’s arms came away from his body and made sweeping gestures in the air between the two of them to underline his words.

“Only last week Joe had you in a headlock. Do you remember?”

Mike felt himself going pale at the inevitable flaw being found in his own argument. He did indeed recall very clearly the play fight he had had with Mr. Hahn last week. Chester had been there. He obviously recalled it fairly keenly too.

“You remember that don’t you Mike? I mean, if someone groping you like I did makes you that uncomfortable then you really would fucking remember what happened when you managed to get Joe out of that headlock he had you in, because if what you say is right, then what you did was really facing up to your fear of someone being in your personal space – big time.”

Mike did remember. It was playing through now in his mind. He had grabbed Joe and wrestled him to the ground of their shared hotel room. There was nothing like a bit of unarmed combat to keep someone at arms length eh Mikey?

Mike bowed his head and regarded the empty Coke can he was still nursing unable to say anything to negate Chester’s words.

“So?” Chester was clearly not letting up.

After a minute Mike slowly brought his head round to acknowledge the question.

“Yeah ‘so?’ is right.”

Chester just looked confused for a moment before deciding to ignore what Mike had just said and get them back to the point.

“Mike, just tell me what the problem is ok?”

“Chester…I can’t.”

“Aha.”

“No I can’t, really.” Mike heard himself almost pleading with Chester now. “Thing is, and believe me I would rather not have it this way; I don’t know what it is. I don’t know why I get that way. You’re right about everything you said.” Mike sighed heavily realizing he had just revealed himself yet still didn’t feel like any type of weight had lifted. “It’s you. I have some sort of reaction to you almost.” At the very visible change in Chester’s demeanor at his last statement Mike found himself hurrying on to try and smooth things over. “And that’s not the way it sounds – trust me. I don’t think it’s a bad reaction. I don’t honestly know what it is, but it’s nothing to do with me not liking you, I mean, like a friend, like the friend you are.” Mike had stumbled over the last few words and hoped Chester had actually been able to form them together in his own mind to mean what Mike had intended. He watched and waited. Chester was for once unreadable.

Finally the corners if his mouth turned up in a slight smile as he dropped his chin to his chest briefly before looking back at Mike all expression now gone.

“Ok, Mike? I am not gonna tell you that you haven’t got me a little freaked right now. But I’m not going to push you anymore ‘cause I just think you might want to think about this a bit. And then maybe if you figure it all out, then you might decide you want to tell me. But that’s up to you. Until then, I’ll keep myself to myself. Kay?”

There was something almost sad in Chester’s words. As if he was giving something up, or choosing the lesser of two options. He held is open palms up in the air as an indication of his intention to back off and waited for Mike to acknowledge it.

“Yeah ok. Thanks, and…you don’t need to worry…about us I mean. We’re cool.”

Then why didn’t he feel it anymore. It was true before this conversation they had just had, but something had changed that. Something was definitely not as it was between them. Again that nagging thought Mike had been pushing away ate at him. Chester gave his best reassuring grin, doing his bit in signaling that yes, things were still ‘cool’ before letting out an exaggerated yawn and looking at his watch. He announced he was heading out to the bus. And even if Mike thought this was more for his benefit than Chester’s, just to put a little space between them, he certainly wasn’t going to argue.