Category Linkin Park

Remember by malaiyas

The pairing is up to you guys. I was feeling depressed when I wrote this. There is no happy ending on this one as a result of that. I don't own Linkin Park, all that good stuff, you know the drill. This is a standalone, there will be nothing further added to it. Review, please, and tell me who you imagined! I'm interested to know!

I can still remember your smile, the way your entire face would light up with a flash of your teeth. The lines in your face were etched in my mind just as they were in your skin; I can remember it all. The way your eyebrows arched upwards, going hand in hand with the way your ears would hitch involuntarily when you'd laugh. You had always emanated a sort of bright light that made you seem so untouchable, as your smile held a radiance matched by none other. It was always your smile that held me. To me, you were the most beautiful person I could ever have imagined, despite your claims otherwise.

The deep pools of chocolate that comprised your eyes were captivating. I can still remember what it was like when you looked at me, and their luminosity made it so difficult for me to turn away, even if it was what I most wanted to do. All you ever had to do to hold my attention was look at me with those spellbinding eyes, filled with promises unspoken, and to this day, unfulfilled.

From time to time, I wonder if you still remember that morning when I'd held you in my arms, your back pressed against my chest. I had hoped that every morning would start off like that; even now, I can recount every curve, every rise and fall of your form in my arms, carry the memory of your flesh in my mind forever. You were so close that, with every inhale, I breathed your memorable scent - one that I will never forget. You slept so peacefully that I sometimes found myself holding my breath, afraid that I might have disturbed your slumber.

As peaceful as you were, you were also noisy. The snores emitted from your lips, parted only slightly, might have sounded horrible to someone else. But to me, there was a certain comfort to be found in the rhythmic noise of your breathing, reminiscent of white noise. You were perfection rolled into a single package; your scent, your sound, your feel, your taste, your touch. Aesthetically pleasing to each of the senses, and then some, is what you were, what you'd always been, most probably what you still were.

I had watched your eyes flutter open that morning, saw the glow that the streams of sunlight pouring in through the open window had spilled onto your skin. Even with the grogginess of the morning, you were still just as beautiful as ever. Nothing could take away from the natural beauty that oozed from each of your pores.

I pressed my lips against the back of your neck, and I felt your body move in my arms. I knew then that I had woken you up.

"Good morning," I whispered into your ear, rubbing light circles on your stomach, "I love you."

I felt you tense in my arms, just as you always did when I'd murmured those three little words. It always made me feel horrible, like I wasn't worthy of being in your presence, but every time, I repeated the same mistakes. I simply couldn't restrain myself. Maybe you were ashamed of me, of being with me, I didn't know then. I still don't, and I probably never will.

You slipped out of my arms then, slid out of the bed. There was a reluctant air to your movements, one that you'd never have admitted to, but I noticed it. I just knew you too well. Sometimes it was unfortunate, because I could always read right into what you wouldn't say; a good majority of the times, those words were the ones that hurt the most. Your eyes always gave you away.

It was impossible for me to not admire you, to not want you and also to wish that you'd stay. A part of me always knew that you wouldn't, that you'd eventually leave me, but the other part of me tried to dispute that, stayed knee deep in denial. But you were never made for me. I'd realized that long ago, but I intentionally blinded myself to that fact.

You had turned to look at me, then wore the smile that I'd grown to love so much. "It's a beautiful morning," you commented, and I nodded my head.

"The most," I'd replied stupidly. When I spoke to you, I felt as if what I had to say was clumsy in comparison to that of what you had to say. It was funny to think that I'd been regarded as the more eloquent one, when really, it was just the opposite. It was an oddity that was known among us, but not spoken of. I always hated it back then, it made me feel inferior. I'd always been a competitive one. I love it now, though, because I know I'll never experience it again.

The day progressed, and had lost its charm. Somehow, I knew then that you'd be leaving me. I had never cared much for the sunset, always thought it to be overrated. Everyone loved sunsets, that was part of the reason why I didn't. For everyone else, the orange lights were a perfect time for blossoming romance. For me, it was just as depressing as its namesake. Thinking back on it now, I would have loved to hold you in my arms, whispering goodbyes in your ear through quiet tears. It only confirmed why sunsets were depressing to me.

I missed you then, still do. I've often times wondered where you are, if you're happy, if you're still suffering. As much as I wish you'd come back, I know you won't.

Morning made a reappearance the following day, but it had lost the luster of the previous day. It wasn't nearly as brilliant; it never is anymore. Something inside has died. Empty house, empty heart. I know I'll never forget that Sunday. I've often tried to forget you, but I could never forget the time, just as I could never forget you.

I stare down at your name written on the stone below me, and the tears that welled in my eyes as I took the time to remember finally spill down my cheeks. The thorns of the rose I've been holding since my arrival has drawn blood from my fingers. I watch in a sort of trance as my life drips down onto the marker, wishing it were enough to bring you back.

I wish keeping you alive in me was enough.

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