18.

You don’t know who you are anymore or what the fuck you’ve just done. But it’s over now, right? No more games and mind fucking? No more hurt and pain? No more fucking sorrow? No more violent asthma attacks in the middle of the night when you wake up from dreams of Chester? No more bloodshed and black and blue imprints on your skin?

You gaze around the bedroom and your feet drop to the floor. You feel dizzy as you bend down to retrieve your boxers on the floor and pull them on.

Then you sit down on the edge of the bed, find your eyes settling on the white bandage wrapped securely around your right arm. It stings when you press your fingers against it. Apparently the scarring will be quite severe. Can you really forget when you’ve got to look at those for the rest of your life?

But he promised. He promised things were going to be okay.

You jump when you hear Chester’s voice. At first you think he’s calling you then you realise he’s talking to someone. You frown, get to your feet and tiptoe over to the bathroom door. Is there someone in there? You can only hear his voice.

“Chester?” You call out, pushing the door open.

He spins around, eyes wide for a split second before they return to normal and he looks at you with a smile on his face.

“Oh,” You gaze around the room, “Thought I heard you talking to someone.”

“Nope, only me in here I’m afraid.”

Silence.

“Are you, are you going to tell them the truth now? I’d just, I’d be grateful if you could do it sooner rather than later because I really don’t want to go back to that-- Chester what the fuck are you doing?”

It all happens so fast. One minute he’s standing there and you’re asking him to sort things out, trying to ignore the nervous shake to your voice

The next moment he’s picking up a knife from the edge of the bathtub.

“Mike, you seem to have misunderstood me,” He smiles, “If you think I’m telling anyone the truth then frankly, you don’t know me very well at all.”

You pale.

“See, what good would it do me? I’d lose you, my friends, the band, my whole fucking livelihood. And for what? For you?” He sniggers, “I don’t think so Michael.”

“Then… Then what was all that about?” Your voice shakes as you wave your arms in the direction of the bedroom; dirty sheets hanging unceremoniously from the bed.

“Oh sweetheart, it will all make sense in a bit,” He smiles, “You were very good though. I didn’t think you’d be that easy to persuade. Guess it’s been a while since you got your end away? Shame we didn’t use protection.”

“What do you mean?” You narrow your eyes.

“Well I got used to using a rubber when you stayed with me the other week.”

You gulp and your clammy hands wrap around one another as you back up against the door.

“Though Michael, a full rape kit was used to examine you and we found no trace of Mr. Bennington’s bodily fluids inside you and no full proof that there was any sort of force made…”

Oh God.

“You used protection when you raped me?” You stare at him with wide eyes.

“Of course,” He grins, “I cleaned you up too.”

“So how did you do it hey?” You hiss, “How did you make it look like I’d raped you?”

“That was easy Mike,” He grins, “It's amazing how much those sedatives knocked you out. You looked kind of cute as well, peaceful even, when you were lying there in my bed, dead to the world. I made you climax when you were asleep then I covered my twelve inch dildo with the sticky mess you made, and GOD you can make yourself bleed and bruise with that thing. It’s lethal, it’s like an animal.”

Your hands suddenly reach for the door handle behind you when you feel your legs starting to give way. Leaning back against the cool wooden surface you take deep breaths.

“Don’t look so shocked Mike, it’s not like you’ve never used that thing before. You bought me it, remember?” He chuckles, “King Kong?”

“What happened to ‘no more games’ then?” You spit out furiously.

“Let’s call this the last round,” He smirks.

“What if, what if I come back to you,” You gasp out.

“Oh sweetheart,” Chester shakes his head, “I’m kind of bored of you to be honest. It was fun while it lasted but now, now I’m ready to move on.”

“Then tell them you’re LYING!” You shout.

“Rewind a few minutes Mike, I already told you no,” He pauses, “I’ll visit you.”

“They can’t lock me up,” Your voice rises, “Chester they can’t lock me up in there.”

“Well either there or jail,” He shrugs, “You’ll end up in one place. I’m thinking the nuthouse considering your previous self harm and suicide attempts. The prisons are wising up to that these days, they don’t want a suicide victim on their hands, they’ve got enough to deal with what with illicit sex, drug scams, inmates escaping. Nah, I don’t think I’ll press charges this time either, beside, it’ll be easier to visit you at a mental home.”

“It won’t work,” You hiss, “They can’t section me on your say so.”

“Uh, hello, they already want to. I spoke to Brad this morning, he tells me that the tests they ran on you brought out some quite alarming outcomes. Oh Mike, I always did know you were a bit of a livewire. Head all messed up is it?” He laughs.

You glare at him, numb and speechless. God you’re so pathetic, like putty in his hands.

“I can’t believe how easy it was to seduce you,” He suddenly bursts into laughter, “I must still have some effect on you which is rather sweet Michael, isn’t it? Shame you don’t have some effect on me…”

“Oh I must do Chester,” You retort, “Or you wouldn’t be fucking with me right now.”

“Oh tetchy.”

“I mean, what is it?” You carry on, ignoring his comment and his smirk, “Are you on drugs? Is that it? Because one minute you’re perfectly normal, the next you’re off your fucking head!”

“I could say the same for you,” Chester shrugs, “Anyway, can you believe how easy it’s been for me to wrap everyone around my little finger?”

You feel sick. You don’t want to hear this.

“I knew Brad would be on my side,” He smiles, “I didn’t tell you about all the visits I paid him in Europe. I laid it on quite well really. A few tears, sobbing into his t-shirt, telling him how desperately worried I was about you. You know, if I didn’t know any better I’d say Brad has a little crush on you. He was so helpless when I told him everything. He was fucking distraught actually.”

“And you enjoy that?”

Chester shrugs.

“Please Chester, I’m fucking begging you not to do this. If you want me out of your life then that’s fine, just let me leave and…”

Your words stop because Chester places the silver knife into your hands.

“Stop it,” You hiss, letting it drop to the floor.

He shrugs, picks it up with a towel and before you have chance to react has pressed it against his forearm. It’s ugly to watch and at first that is all you can do; stand and stare in complete and utter shock.

“Stop it!” You shout frantically, brain finally reacting, but he steps back, slides the blade across his skin and watches you as you watch his blood oozing out and spilling onto the floor below.

“No,” You shake your head, “Why are you doing this? What are you doing?”

That’s when the voices start again in your head. They’re quiet at first, hard to make out but you can hear them all right as you shakily step toward Chester and beg him to stop.

Welcome to hell.

That’s what they keep whispering. Soft at first, then they get louder and their singsong playfulness turns into an aggressive chant.

Welcome to hell Mike.

“Stop it!” You shout at the voices; at Chester at everything that’s going on around you, “Please, just stop it,” You whisper, suddenly aware of tears trickling down your cheeks.

Welcome to hell Mike.

“It doesn’t hurt does it?” Chester speaks, “I mean I thought it would but it’s actually quite soothing. No wonder you’re a self harmer Mike, I always knew you liked getting a head rush.”

Welcome to hell Mike.

You stare back at him in shock, eyes trying to focus through the tears.

“Please stop Chester,” You whisper, hand reaching out for the knife, “Don’t do it anymore…”

You don’t hear the crunch of gravel this time. Nor do you hear the door being kicked open or the footsteps racing up the stairs.

Chester presses the knife into your left hand, lets the blood soaked towel drop to the floor in slow motion.

You hear the voices though, loud and clear when they crash through the bedroom door and suddenly your feet are on the ground again, you’re not floating like you apparently were before and Brad’s staring at you in horror, looking from the bloodstained knife clutched in your hand to the sobbing, shaking figure of Chester in the corner of the bathroom.

“Welcome to hell.”

+

TBC…