a.n - this is for tali, who probably gets a headache everytime this lands in her inbox so thanks to her for sifting the shit out of it (though i'm setting myself a mission to get 'stark bollock naked' into the american phrase book :p) thanks to everyone who's been reading this, i hope to update more often from now on. enjoy < 3

[ Chapter Ten ]

Our new RV was nothing out of the ordinary and not that dissimilar to our old one, which was now residing (much to his wife’s annoyance) in Joe Hahn’s driveway. Before us, in the parking lot outside the offices stood its replacement; it was white and shiny and given to us courtesy of Electric Ballroom Recordings. I glanced up at the dark building behind me, remembering my birthday; the day we’d been huddled inside one of the many conference rooms as Will discussed our fate with his managers. Now here we all were once again, two months later with a demo disc under our belts about to embark on a three month tour in less than ten minutes.

“Ahh, gang,” Rocky grinned, walking over to us with a rucksack and what looked like a battered, slightly faded road map, “Ready to go?”

“I guess,” I nodded as he dropped his bag down beside me, “We’re just waiting on Mike.”

“Ahh,” Rocky nodded, “Now why doesn’t that surprise me?”

“He’ll be here,” I told him sharply as he lit up a cigarette and wandered off again.

Of course he’d be here. I’d spent the entire night trying to get through to him on his phone. After we’d finished recording our demo, Mike had decided to go home. I’d been in no mood to argue with him, or anyone for that matter. The word’s ‘welcome to hell’ that had come from Ringo’s lips had been a pretty good way of describing how the weekend had gone. Oh, we got a brilliant demo out of it, one which we’d left copies of in the local record stores, the bars we frequented and randomly, the music store where Mike had bought his first guitar from. It had just been hellish to get to that point of completion. We didn’t stop working from the moment Ringo had placed his bag on the floor. Four whole days of singing, re-working, ironing out any insecurities about songs, getting every little thing pitch perfect. No sleep. No food. Just lots of caffeine and lots of concentration. We left the studio early on the following Tuesday morning, just after three am. Mike departed, telling me he had to see his Mom. Out of tiredness maybe, I’d asked him if he meant Ed. There’d been no reply and I hadn’t seen him since. Maybe that’s why I found myself glancing up the road with my fingers crossed. He had to be coming.

The others were all here. Brad leaning against the new RV, his eyes hidden by shades, his body covered by a black shirt and black pants. He was sipping from a bottle of water, staring at the sky, keeping out of my way - thank God. I knew that this was going to be a challenge for me - to steer clear of him and try not to say a word. We’d be living in each others pockets for the next three months and I couldn’t help but feel like this was going to be even harder due to the fact that I despised Brad more than I could emphasise. Rob was sitting next to him with his head in a book, surrounded by a pile of miscellaneous items; sleeping bags, pillows, an industrial sized torch, a large cardboard box stuffed with our demo discs, sticker sheets and posters and a small boom box covered in peeling band stickers and dust.

I thanked Electric Ballroom for their foresight to provide a trailer for the back of the RV. At least we would no longer have our guitars, amps, turntables and parts of Rob’s drum kit occupying the bunks and seats and floor space. No, instead our clothes, books and laundry would take their place.

I glanced at my watch. Five minutes to go.

Electric Ballroom had been good enough to let Rocky stay on as our manager. Normally they would have appointed someone else, someone from ‘the inside’ or some up and coming wannabe manager. Much persistence on our side had ensured he was to stay as our manager, as long as he signed a contract to Electric Ballroom, binding him to act responsibly, get us to the venues on time and keep us out of trouble. He’d not grumbled. That had always been his job, at least now he was getting paid for it. Money wise, we were given dollars to cover the touring costs, the demo recording and any promotion. If the tour went well we’d be given another contract to sign and then we’d record our debut album, and probably be forced to stay with Electric Ballroom for the next five years.

Once our debut album started selling, and this was the hugest IF in the world, we’d start paying the record company back, probably seeing some money a few months down the line via publishing royalties. It was a lot to digest all at once and I’d spent the last two weeks reluctantly talking with my parents who had told me that I should do what I wanted, as long as I was happy. Happy and broke, for the while, I thought to myself with a smile as I glanced up at the RV. Sure, we’d been on road trips before, sometimes for several weeks at a time but this was just all so different. This wasn’t driving around pubs and bars in the hope they’d let us play. This was driving around with a venue for every day, a spot on a tour which was properly organised and most importantly of all, which people actually went to. The first band we were supporting were Papa Roach. I’d found myself in possession of one of their demos and so far, they sounded great.

I caught sight of my watch again. Three minutes.

Joe was leaning against his car, saying goodbye to his wife and daughter Leila. She looked completely nonplussed, as most two year olds would at the prospect of not seeing her Father for the next few months. Maria, however, was the complete opposite with teary eyes and a vacant smile. She’d been here before but never in this way. Before it had meant seeing Joe the next week; a quick kiss on the cheek and ‘don’t misbehave’ but now it was a proper old goodbye, complete with smudged mascara. I caught someone watching me and turned to see Phoenix placing more luggage down beside my pink suitcases I’d borrowed them from my sister and brought them along just to piss Brad off.

“Hey,” he smiled.

“Hey.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, glancing at my watch.

“Here’s Mike,” Phi grinned and I followed his eyes to the main road to see Mike getting out of a beat up Mustang and slinging a rucksack over his shoulder.

Squinting through the sun’s rays, I could just about make out the guy in the driver’s seat who was passing Mike his holdall.

It was Ed.

I frowned and watched Mike as he shut the passenger door and the car swiftly reversed then turned back out onto the road. Mike reached me just as Rocky reappeared with the keys to the RV, a Styrofoam cup of coffee and a bag of Kettle Chips.

“Last one on gets to sit in the passenger seat,” he hollered, “That means reading the map,” he hummed to himself as he unlocked the van.

Mike smiled, dropped his bag next to mine. I gazed at him, noting how he looked different. Not completely different - he just looked clean and smart and most of all happy - which I’d not seen him looking for a long time. His hair was spiked up to perfection, his body clothed in smart black pants and a navy shirt, his eyes lined with kohl and shining brightly behind his dark rimmed glasses.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” I nodded.

“What’s wrong?” He asked me with a frown.

“Do you even need to ask Mike?”

“I can explain,” he sighed.

“Oh you can? I’ve been worried sick about you and --”

“Chester. Calm down,” he smiled softly, “I’m sorry I didn’t call you. I just, I really didn’t have time and I know how shit that sounds.”

“Yeah,” I nodded, “It does sound pretty shit.”

“Can we talk in private for a moment?” he asked.

“Sure,” I replied, stepping away from my pile of luggage and following Mike over to the far corner of the parking lot. I glanced over at Phi who was watching us with worried eyes, ignoring the fact that Rob was asking him to help load his drum kit into the trailer.

“This week’s just been a complete blur. I, god you’re not going to like this but just promise you’ll try and understand my reasons?”

“Mike?” I frowned, “What is it?”

“Ed was there when I got home. I wish I’d gone home with you instead, I really do.”

“Mike please tell me he didn’t touch you…”

“No,” Mike was quick to shake his head, “No he didn’t touch me at all.”

“That’s good,” I nodded, “But Mike, that guy raped you. How can you even stand to be in the same room as him?”

Mike’s gaze shifted to the ground for a second, “It wasn’t me he had come to see. Not initially anyway. Seems like my Mom had really bitten off more than she could chew. Heath had upped and left, leaving her with a debt. She owed Ed money again and fuck, I’m not talking a couple of hundred,” he paused, “She owed him five thousand.”

“What?!” I gasped, “Please tell me you’re kidding?”

“I wish I was. I don’t even know what she owed it for. It could be anything from crack to speed to alcohol - I just don’t know. All I do know is that when I got home that evening, Ed was there with this guy called Skeet. Skeet’s…”

“I know who Skeet is,” I mumbled; everyone knew who Skeet was - even the people from innocent, sheltered backgrounds who thought playing poker and drinking shandy was hardcore - even they knew who he was. The biggest dealer of town, one of the rulers of the streets of downtown LA.

Mike nodded, “Turns out that Ed was dealing for Skeet and taking a cut. You know how it works - only Ed hadn’t been getting the money off my Mom and therefore, Skeet, kingpin and fucking leader of this fucked up drugs scene hadn’t been getting his money. My mom was a wreck. She was jacked up on Lord only knows what. So I turn up and Ed had apparently sold me as some sort of rent boy to Skeet,” he stopped, “I mean, what do I deserve really?”

“Mike you’re not like that…”

He sighed and his eyes glazed over, “Chester you know as well as I do that giving people hand jobs in return for money makes you a whore…”

“…”

“So what could I do hey? Either I went with Skeet or they blew my Mom’s brains out and decorated the walls with her blood and guts.”

“Fuck Mike! You should have called me, I could have helped…”

“Chester you couldn’t have helped. You’re as broke as I am…”

“So what happened then?”

“I spent the week with Skeet. I’ll spare you the details but the debt has been erased.”

“Mike? Did he hurt you?” I asked frantically.

Mike shook his head. So far he’d been holding it together pretty well but the first signs of tears were starting to appear in the corners of his eyes.

“Mike?”

“No,” he sniffed, “He didn’t hurt me. In fact he was the most gentle person I’ve ever been with,” he gulped, “He’s got this mansion up in the hills. It’s huge with a pool and tennis courts, there’s at least seven bathrooms and every room has a TV in it… Everyone thinks he’s some sadistic bastard who’d kill you if you look at him the wrong way - it’s just a front though,” he smiled wryly, “We slept together, we did some other things, nothing nasty though. We ate and lounged about. We talked and watched the sunset. I was so fucking scared when I got into his car the first time. I honestly didn’t think I was going to make it back alive. I was shaking when we arrived at his house. But you know what? He just wanted some company. He didn’t want to hurt me or inebriate me. No drugs, no alcohol, nothing chemical at all. He was just lonely.”

“Fuck,” I uttered, “So are you okay? I mean he didn’t hurt you, you promise…”

“He even used protection.”

I stared back, a little lost for words.

“I haven’t done any drugs or drunk any booze for six days Chester. I’ve been sober all week and that’s how it’s going to stay. I stopped off to check on my Mom this morning. She was drunk, she’d smashed up the entire place. I spent about three hours cleaning it up. I’ve packed my final belongings into a box, there wasn’t much really because I think most of it’s on your bedroom floor anyway,” he smiled sheepishly, “I filled the fridge for her and tipped all her vodka down the sink. She was so wasted that she didn’t even know who I was. Christ, I could have been anyone,” he paused again, “I’ve said goodbye to her Chester,” he stopped briefly and looked me in the eyes, “I’m not going back there. I’m not going to see her for a long time. If it’s okay with you I’d like to stay with you more permanently when we’re off this tour - we could even get a place together with the others? I just, God I feel so selfish but --”

“No Mike,” I hushed him, “I think it’s a good idea. You need to start living your life. You’ve spent most of it looking after her and I hate to say it but she doesn’t appreciate you Mike. You’re supposed to be the child and I know she’s ill and can’t control her emotions a lot of the time but that’s no excuse for the drug abuse. It’s no excuse for getting your son hooked on chemicals.”

“Thank you,” Mike whispered, tears now running down his cheeks, “For saying all of that, for not thinking I’m selfish. It took me all week to come to this decision. I just, I can’t go back there. I’ve got to leave her for now, I think it’s the best thing for both of us. I’m trying to get clean Chester, I really am and this band, this means everything to me. I really want this to work.”

I smiled at him and dug into my pocket for a tissue. He took it and dabbed at his eyes, smiling wearily at me.

“You’re doing the right thing,” I nodded giving his hand a gentle squeeze, “And it’ll get easier, I know it will.”

“Are you two coming with us or do we have to go on as an instrumental group?!”

We both started laughing as Rob’s comment came hollering over to us from where he was standing in the parking lot with a look of annoyance on his face.

“You ready?” I asked, slinging my arm around Mike’s waist.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “Yeah I am.”

I followed him into the van, my nostrils greeted by the smell of squeaky clean leather and factory fresh interiors. The small kitchenette area was amply equipped and I dragged my baggage through it; past the small fold out table and into the back area which housed six bunks in total; two either side and two in front of me. I chose the bottom one to my left and dropped my bags on it, as if staking claim. The van was still pretty small, make no mistake about it, but I was more than grateful.

Normally newly signed bands were given hand-me-downs, complete with vomit stained carpets and awful smells that no one could find the source of. This was clean, practical and small, I noted as the others had now piled on and were dumping bags and rifling through the cupboards - which were empty except for a box of teabags and a half eaten packet of cookies.

I slipped into my bunk, curling my knees up to my chest and unzipped the smaller of the two suitcases. Someone stuck a CD into the boom box and as the doors were locked and the windows wound down, the sounds of Faith No More drifted through the van. Rocky started the engine and soon we were pulling out onto the highway. I leant back against the wall for a while, stopped searching through my bag for the book I was reading and closed my eyes.

This was it.

I could feel something uneasy settling in the pit of my stomach. I wasn’t sure if it was just apprehension or something more. Whatever it was though, I managed to successfully push it to the back of my mind and by the time we were coasting along the highway, eating cookies and playing obscenely loud music, I’d forgotten all about it.

+

“Chester… Chester?”

“Mmm… What?”

“Wake up.”

“No.”

“Come on Chester.”

“Go ‘way.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“I mean it Phi.”

“Nope.”

“Ugh,” I groaned and cracked my eyes open.

“Finally,” Phoenix grinned from where he’d crammed himself into my bunk, “I bought you some food. We stopped at the gas station on the edge of town but you were out of it. Late night was it?”

“No,” I sighed, rubbing my eyes and slowly sitting up, careful not to hit my head on the bed above me.

“Chocolate,” Phi smiled, passing me a bar, “You okay?”

“Yeah. Just tired. I didn’t sleep too well last night. Where are we?”

“I have no idea. Mike’s doing the map reading so we could be anywhere,” he chuckled, “You sure you’re okay? You seem a little out of it.”

“I’m fine,” I smiled, “Just sleepy,” I yawned, hoping he’d get the hint.

I really wasn’t in the mood to be sociable. I had too much on my mind and had spent most of the journey so far churning things over. Mike was finally seeing that he was being dragged down by his Mother and it had felt so weird to see him telling me he was going to quit drugs. Weird? Yeah it felt weird because for the first time I actually believed him and I wasn’t sure what kind of friend that made me. Sure I’d taken the times he’d said that before to be true but he’d always stumbled back into my life a few days later either drunk or stoned or spewing up alcohol. This time though there had been something there, some undeniable edge to his words or the way he’d looked at me which made me truly believe in him.

“I’ll leave you to eat that in peace.”

“Huh? Oh sorry Phi,” I smiled, tugging him back into my bunk, “Don’t go,” I pouted, “I’m not feeling very talkative at the moment but I could do with the company.”

“Well,” he smiled, “We don’t have to talk…”

“Uh-huh,” I shook my head, “Not with the others around!”

“Oh come on,” he winked, “They won’t notice a thing. Besides, Rob’s set on deafening us all with Faith No More.”

“What’s wrong with Faith No More?!”

“Nothing! I just…”

“I’d so fuck Mike Patton,” I smirked.

“You would?” Phi asked, screwing his face up.

“Wouldn’t you?”

“No,” he shook his head, “I prefer pale and interesting. Innocent looking--”

“Fuck off,” I laughed.

“What?! I was paying you a compliment.”

“Trying to get in my pants more like.”

“Well, there is that as well,” he grinned.

My mind wandered for a second. Here I was, lying in a very small bunk with a guy who I’d started to become infatuated with and said guy was trying to have sex with me. This didn’t happen to me. Ever. No, I was the guy who was ignored and left to rot away with all the crumby people in life. It still didn’t make it right though, did it? That I was having some sordid affair with this guy. It’s just that, besides wondering where the hell Mike had been, beside arguing with my parents about this tour - I’d spent a lot of the last week realising that what Phi and I were doing was wrong.

My thoughts were broken when Phi’s lips pressed against my forehead. Before I could react he was pushing his fingers against my lips, hushing me before he replaced them with his own lips. I groaned and felt my eyes closing.

“I’m really not in the mood…”

Phoenix hushed me with his lips.

“Mnph…”

“Sssh,” Phi whispered, flicking his tongue out.

“But…”

He pulled away and smiled at me, “But what?!”

“I think we should be careful y’know? I don’t want any friction between the others, especially Brad…”

“Okay,” Phi smiled, “I’ll settle for some cuddling then?”

I smiled and shifted up in the bunk, allowing Phoenix to slide down beside me and wrap his arms around my body. It was cramped and I could feel the engine vibrating beneath my legs but it didn’t matter.

“Is Mike okay?” Phi asked, “He’s looking a lot happier today.”

“Yeah,” I nodded, “I think he is.”

“That’s good… What about you?”

“Huh?”

“Are you feeling happier?”

“I guess…”

“I could make you happier if you…”

“Pack it in!”

“Meanie…”

“Phi, no amount of sulking is going to get you what you want. Take a cold shower or something,” I laughed, elbowing him playfully in the stomach.

“I’m sorry,” he was clearly grinning, “I just thought that what with three whole months ahead of us, we could get to know each other better…”

“I don’t think the others would approve…”

“Is this what this is all about?”

I twisted my body around so I was facing him, “What do you mean?”

“I mean are you trying to keep this a secret from them?”

“Of course I am, aren‘t you?”

“Yes but at the same time I don’t know if I’m going to be able to keep my hands off you…”

“Well you’ll have to.”

“…”

“Phi,” I sighed, “I like you a lot.”

“But?”

“But I think you need to start thinking about your girlfriend.”

Phoenix stared back at me blankly, an expression I wasn’t really expecting to be met with. Then again I hadn’t really been expecting those words to tumble out of my lips; they just sort of did.

Phoenix sighed, “She’s not here though.”

“No, she’s back home and probably looking forward to seeing you again already.”

“You’ve changed your tune.”

“Maybe,” I nodded, “Look, I don’t want to be some home wrecker. Maybe it’s for the best if we keep out of each others way if you can‘t keep your hands from wandering?”

Phoenix narrowed his eyes, “Are you…”

“Ending it?” I whispered.

“Ending it? I’d hardly say we’ve started anything,” he hissed, “Whatever. It’s your fucking loss,” he snarled, snatching his arms away from me and storming out of my bunk.

I was left staring at the patch where he’d been lying just seconds ago, my heart pounding as I wondered where the fuck all that had come from. Sure, I’d spent the past week thinking things over and realising that I liked Phoenix a lot but that I wasn’t going to play second fiddle to someone else. I’d not, however, planned on telling him any of that nor ending our liaisons before, quite like Phi had said, they’d even begun.

“Chester?”

I looked up to see Mike hovering beside my bunk and was quick to realise that the van had stopped moving. Please God, I thought to myself, Please don’t say we’re there already.

“Are you okay?”

“Why have we stopped?”

“Oh, apparently my map reading is shit,” Mike replied dryly, “Actually, Rocky took a wrong turn because he doesn’t know left from right so now we’re lost. He’s gone to ask for directions. Is everything alright? It’s just that Phoenix practically ran out of here…”

“Will you shut the curtain?” I asked.

Mike nodded, his head disappearing from view as he closed the privacy curtain.

“No you idiot,” I laughed, sticking my hand through and catching his leg, “I meant for you to come in first.”

“Oh,” Mike chuckled, slipping back and squeezing into the small space beside me.

“I don’t know why but I just told Phoenix that we should, well, you know stop…”

“Fucking?”

“Yes, thanks Mike.”

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” I sighed.

“Come here,” Mike whispered, pulling me towards him.

“I just started thinking the other night, about how this is it; this is our chance to do things properly. I don’t want to be going on stage night after night with the guilt that I’ve been sleeping with someone else’s man… It didn’t bother me at first but it seems I’ve grown a conscience.”

“I think you had one before Chester.”

“But what? It got lost?” I smiled wryly.

“You like him a lot, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, “I do.”

“Then tell him.”

“But he’s already got someone…”

“And do you think he was really happy with her if he came to you?”

“He said he was confused…”

“Tell him to join the club,” Mike smiled, “That’s not the only reason, is it?”

“No,” I shook my head, aware of the tears that were welling up behind my eyes, “I can’t do it. I can’t be with anyone because I’m scared.”

“What of?”

“Of being hurt.”

“It’s okay. I think most of us are afraid of that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” Mike nodded, “I think it’s a reflex reaction.”

Mike and I had had this conversation a thousand times before, so he knew what I meant and he knew that for the next ten or fifteen minutes I was going to be this sobbing mess in his arms. He always knew what to say and really, I think that’s all I was looking for; his reassurance.

“I miss him,” I sniffed.

“I know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Mike smiled softly, “That’s why you broke things off with Phi, isn’t it? Not just because of Sophie? Because of Josh?”

“I tried,” I whispered, “I tried to push him out of my mind but I couldn’t. I want to move on, I really do but - but I knew that at the end of this tour Phi would be going back home to his girlfriend and I would’ve fallen that bit deeper for him. Then I’d be left again…”

“You’ve just got to keep on trying,” Mike told me, “It’s got to get easier at some point.”

“It did y’know,” I sniffed, wiping my eyes, “I didn’t think of Josh for a few weeks - then last week it all came back and I could just picture him watching me and being really disappointed in me.”

“Disappointed? I think he’d be proud.”

“Proud?” I frowned.

“Yes. Proud that you’re getting on with your life and that you’re such a good friend.”

“But he wouldn’t be proud of me for fucking Phoenix.”

“Chester it’s hardly the crime of the year!”

“I know, I know, I’m being melodramatic aren’t I?”

“It’s one of your best features,” Mike laughed.

“Thanks.”

“Do what makes you happy for once.”

“Huh?”

“You heard,” Mike squeezed me, “Man these bunks are uncomfortable.”

“I know,” I nodded, trying to process his previous words.

“I think we might end up crippled by the end of the summer.”

“Phoenix was making me happy…”

“I know he was.”

“You think I should re-think what I said?”

“I think you should figure that out for yourself. I can’t tell you what to do or feel.”

“Neither can I at times.”

“Maybe think about it a little while longer? Focus on the gigs - that’s what I’m doing. It’s going to be harder than I thought to give up drugs and booze.”

“Are you feeling okay?”

“I think so. I had to force myself to stop on here when we stopped at the gas station though. I was so scared of going into the store and buying something to drink.”

“Well I’m proud of you,” I smiled, “And if it makes things any easier, I’m going to join you in sobering up.”

“Really?”

“Yup,” I grinned, “No more drugs, booze - I can still smoke, right?”

“Yes,” Mike laughed, “There’s no way I’m quitting cigarettes!”

“I think I might take up celibacy as well.”

“I think I’ll pass on that.”

“Whore.”

“Dick.”

“Asshat.”

“Fucktard.”

“I think we’re moving again,” I paused as I felt the van lurching forward, followed by the juddering sensation beneath my leg as they engine kicked in.

“Your bunk vibrates,” Mike smirked, “Maybe you don’t need to get intimate with anyone if you sleep in here?”

“Pervert,” I laughed, smacking him in the stomach.

“Mike? Mike? Where did you put the map?”

The sound of Rob shouting down the entire van filled our ears and seconds later the drummer yanked the curtain open and stuck his head into the small space.

“We are so lost,” he rolled his eyes, “Where’s the map?”

“I left it with Joe.”

“Joe?”

“Yes, you know the other Asian one,” Mike deadpanned.

“Is your bunk vibrating?” Rob asked.

“Yes.”

“Cool. If we suck and don’t make any money Mike could bring back his men - we could use it like a rocking bed, y’know like in those dodgy motels where you put a coin in and…”

“Rob where’s the map?” Joe yelled from the front of the bus.

“You have it,” Rob called back, wondering away.

“Shit,” I shook my head, “Is this what the next few months are going to be like?”

“Oh don’t worry about it,” Mike laughed, “I mean it could be worse,” he paused, “Actually no it couldn’t!”

“Oh, it could,” I chipped in, “It could be last summer when we did that two week tour across the east coast and the van broke and crashed into that diner?”

“Don’t remind me. I still have the scars.”

“At least you weren’t getting jiggy with yourself at the time,” I cringed as I recalled the event.

It was mid July and almost midnight when our van was bombing down some highway. I was hot and, well, horny. So I was getting rid of some pent-up emotions and quite enjoying myself until Mike managed to drive our van into some thankfully derelict diner.

“How was I to know you were having a wank?!”

“You weren’t,” I glowered at him, “You also weren’t supposed to crash the van and knock me out of my bunk either…”

“It was quite funny…”

“Yeah really funny!” I nodded, sarcasm dripping from my every word.

“Okay maybe having the rest of the band see you stark naked wasn’t funny and maybe smashing into that diner and then reversing out and bombing down the road to get away wasn’t that funny…”

“I wonder if they’re still hunting for who did it?”

“I doubt it. I did them a favour. That place was the pits anyway, they probably had a nice feast on the insurance money!”

“Well just don’t go crashing this van for God’s sake.”

“I don’t think Rocky’s letting me behind the wheel.”

“Good because you sucked at guitar when your arm was broken.”

“You still suck,” A voice came from above us.

‘Brad’ Mike mouthed and I turned my nose up, almost like some kind of instant reaction. I dreaded to think how long he’d been sitting up there listening to not only our conversation, but the one I’d been having before with Phoenix. Great.

+

The venue was tiny - it was also packed to the rafters. I felt sick to the stomach with nerves and had spent the past fifteen minutes pacing up and down a derelict corridor, trying to calm myself. It wasn’t working at all though. I couldn’t recall a time when I’d felt this nauseated before a show. Usually I got the jitters and spaced out about ten minutes before we were due to go on stage. Unfortunately, I’d felt this way ever since Rocky had parked our van behind the venue and it was getting worse by the minute. I even wished we’d been late because that way I would’ve been distracted by that frantic rush of getting our gear onto the small stage and hastily getting changed. But no, for probably the first time in our band’s lifespan we had been three hours early. We still had another half hour to go and I wasn’t feeling any better about things.

“Chester?”

I turned around from where I’d been staring at a spot of cracked paint as Mike stuck his head out of the broom cupboard-come-dressing room that the rest of the band were crammed into.

“You want me to do your make up now?”

I took a deep breath and nodded. I was too scared to open my mouth to speak in case I projectile vomited everywhere. Wiping my clammy palms down the front of my trousers I told myself to chill, which was a fucking impossible thing for me to do, in all honesty, and followed Mike back into the small room.

The inside stank of stale cigarettes and bleach - someone had obviously tried to brighten the place up with cleaning products. I let the door click behind me and climbed over Joe who was lying on the floor and chatting on his cell phone and gazed around at the badly painted white walls, one of which was covered in an ornate Indian sari that was tacked up with pins. Along the far wall ran a hastily assembled kitchen worktop with a panel of mirrors behind it, reflecting my green looking complexion as Mike pulled a chair out and I sat down.

“Did you meet Coby yet?” Mike asked as he tilted my head back and started applying liberal amounts of white foundation to my face.

I shook my head.

“Keep still,” Mike murmured, gliding a sponge across my nose, “He’s really nice, says he’s going to be watching us from the side tonight.”

I had to suddenly grip onto the arms of the chair. As if I hadn’t felt any pressure before- that was certainly adding to my ever increasing heart rate.

“He’s pretty hot too,” Mike lowered his voice, “Close your eyes,” he paused, gliding his fingers over my eyelids, “I think you’d like him.”

“I told you,” I groaned, “I’m off men.”

“You’re what?”

That was Rob who sat down heavily on the chair beside me as Mike told me I could open my eyes. I blinked as he stood back and scrutinized his handy work before turning back to pick up a stick of kohl.

“Are you kidding me?”

Mike pressed the edge of the pencil against my lower eyelid, “He’s going straight,” Mike answered for me, “Going to get himself a lady friend.”

“No. Way.”

“Yes. Way,” Mike mimicked, over imitating Rob’s shocked tones.

“No I’m not,” I smiled, “I’m just not going near anyone period.”

“That’s a pity,” Rob sighed much to Mike’s amusement who laughed at the drummer.

“What?” rob asked, genuinely confused.

“Nothing,” Mike grinned.

“Hey again everyone.”

I turned slightly as the door opened and felt my mouth dropping as an extremely good looking man walked in and began chatting to Rocky.

“Told you that you’d like him,” Mike smirked, grabbing my chin and turning my head back to face him.

“That’s Coby?”

“Yup.”

“Like you could ever be straight,” Rob tutted.

“Hey! You must be Chester?”

I turned back as Coby strode over to me; grey wife beater clinging to his body in all the right places; black pants hanging off his hips; deep, dark eyes and slightly tanned skin. I felt my mouth drying up.

“Hey Coby,” I croaked, “Nice to meet you.”

Nice? I inwardly cringed as he stopped beside me and held out his hand. Great, not only was he Mr. Fuckable but he also had the charm and manners, of a very, very nice young gentleman. I shook his hand, grimacing at the fact that my palms were still clammy and I was visibly shaking with pre-show nerves.

“So are you guys looking forward to the tour?”

“Yeah I think it’s going to be fucking rad,” Rob nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah I think it is,” Coby nodded, “Just thought I’d let you know that we’re having an after show party tonight. Probably not as cool as it sounds though!” he chuckled, “But we’ll be hanging out with some of our fans and probably getting a bit drunk too. Hope to see you there,” he grinned at Mike, then at me.

Suddenly my nerves had disappeared and as Mike smeared glitter across my cheeks and Coby sat down on the floor and quizzed us incessantly about our band’s history I thought to myself, fuck, this is going to be one hell of a ride.

+

I wasn’t wrong.

+

TBC…

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