This is a little side project just to help build momentum on my other unfinished stories. It serves two purposes: 1) I want to experiment with song fics, and 2) I need to work on my descriptive writing. So, this is sort of an exercise for me. I'm so out of practice that everything I've written within the past few months has just been bare bones. I need to put some meat on my bones, so this is the work in progress.

And as always, I own no one and this never happened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

don’t you wanna go for a ride

just keep your hands inside

and make the most out of life

now don’t you take it for granted

Our hero slouched behind the wheel, reveling in the feel of the cool midsummer night’s breeze sweeping through his hair. He took a drag on his Camel light and casually flicked the excess ashes out the window, the embers fleeing like an orange firefly, desperate to get away from a jar. He smiled.

life is like a mean machine

it made a mess out of me

it left me caught between

like an angry dream I was stranded

Our hero didn’t have an intended destination, but he knew where he was bound to end up. It was where he went when everything was going wrong. Where he went when everything was going right. Where he felt more at home than even his own home. His haven. His sanctuary. Where he belonged.

and I’m steady but I’m starting to shake

and I don’t know how much more I can take

His stomach began to churn. Dread steadily overwhelmed the joy of knowing where he was going. Whom he would be seeing. The dread came with wondering whom else he would be seeing. Our hero glanced at the green glowing clock on the dashboard. 8:30. He should have been home with his wife and child. He should have been a lot of things.

well this is it now

everybody get down

this is all I can take

this is how a heart breaks

He swallowed, trying to keep down the sense of doom rising in his throat. The sun was no longer visible behind the hills, and he felt his hope fading. Once he got to where he was going, he wouldn’t like what he was going to see. Our hero was sure of it. It had happened so many times already. But, he kept telling himself that one day, she would be gone and he would have a chance.

you take a hit now

you feel it break down

make you stay wide awake

this is how a heart breaks

Our hero trembled, cold from the suddenly harsh wind rushing in his window, blowing his hair out of place. He glanced in the rear view mirror, fixing his hair, looking to the road every few seconds, keeping the car between the lines. Between the lines. He thought of how he was staying between the lines. God forbid he cross any boundaries.

don’t you wanna go for a ride

down to the other side

feels so good you could cry

now won’t you do what I told you

Our hero stayed between his wife and child and the man he longed to touch, the man toward whom he gravitated, precariously maintaining unsteady relationships with both parties. He told himself that it was just a crush. But, after so many evening drives that ended in the same place every time, he learned that it was indeed a force of nature.

I remember when you used to be shy

yeah, once we were so fine

you and I

why you gotta make it so hard on me

and I'm sorry but it's not a mistake

I'm running but you're getting away

This didn’t come on suddenly. He’d always had a predilection toward running to this same place every time things got too intense. Every time he settled in one place long enough to consider that he had left his wife and his entire life in another state, to chase after an impossible dream, he rushed to the same doorstep. The physical location had since changed, but the face at the door was always the same, and it was always comforting and welcoming and understanding. That’s what he needed more than ever. Just a little understanding.

this is it now

everybody get down

this is all I can take

this is how a heart breaks

His family was very happy with him. His wife loved him with all she had and his son adored him. Our hero had everything he had ever wanted in his life, and he worked his ass off to get it. Trust him to never be happy– to never settle for perfect. The more money that came in, the more love he got from his wife and son, the more amazing places his career had taken him, the more he pined for the one thing he could never have.

you take a hit now

feel it break down

make you stay wide awake

this is how a heart breaks

Our hero rounded the familiar corner, stopped at the familiar stop sign, pulled into the familiar gated community, punched in the familiar security code and cruised up to the familiar house. Lightly tapping on the break pedal, he slowed to a crawl as he passed. Her car was there. Our hero circled the block and went passed again, searching the windows for signs of movement. Nothing. He drove around the neighborhood, coming back the way he came in, passing the house again from the opposite direction. Just as our hero approached the property, the front door swung open and a thin, stocky young man, clad in shades of brown stepped out onto the doorstep. The blusterous wind hit his form just so that his baggy t-shirt hugged all the best parts of his toned torso and his short black hair blew up and out in every direction, giving his face an endearing disheveled look. She was right behind him and calling out to him. The man turned, smiling a stunning smile. She put her hand on the small of his back and held him as she spoke to him. Then she reached up with her other hand and rubbed her thumb across his chin, over his thick black goatee, grooming him. Our hero watched the pair exchange a few short words as he slowly crept by, slouching into his seat, so as not to be noticed. Although, had the man looked up, he would surely recognize our hero’s customized dark blue PT Cruiser with silver flames - the only one of its kind in L.A., maybe even the world. Our hero glanced in his side-view mirror after he passed and witnessed a short yet passionate kiss before the man walked to his vehicle. It didn’t matter where he was going. He was leaving on a good note and would most assuredly be returning to his precious wife. Our hero watched as the man stood next to his vehicle and looked up, furrowing his brow, possibly recognizing his friend’s car in the distance. It didn’t matter.

you’re not the best thing that I knew

never was

never cared too much for all this hanging around

Our hero wiped away a tear as he idled, waiting for the gate to open to free him of his love’s neighborhood. He was desperate to get out of there before the man pulled up behind him. He didn’t know why he did this to himself. It was suicide by tiny increments.

it’s just the same thing all the time

never get what I want

never get too close to the end of the line

you’re just the same thing that I knew

back before a time I was only for you

Our hero took every turn he knew his friend wouldn’t take as he headed back to his own home. Back to his wife and kid. Back to his perfect life. That should have been enough.

this is it now

everybody get down

this is all I can take

this is how a heart breaks

Nothing was ever enough for him, our hero thought bitterly. His chin trembled as tears cascaded freely down his face. This was the only way he could vent his grief for what he had to live without and his desperation for the man he loved with all that he was. In the dark, in his car, in solitude, under the premise that he was going out for a drive to clear his head and think of song ideas. He’d been doing it for years, so his precious wife would never think anything was awry. Tiny increments add up, in the long run.

take a hit now

feel it break down

make you stay wide awake

this is how a heart breaks

It wasn’t long before our hero was in front of his own home– his mansion in the hills. Which contained his lovely wife and his healthy, growing son. And all of his expensive things. His statuettes and plaques and trophies. But, something was missing.

this is how a heart breaks

~~~~~~~~~~~

Those lyrics were from Rob Thomas's brand new "This is How a Heart Breaks." His lyrics are always inspiring to me, so look for more songs from his new album in this collection in the future. I'm currently working on a song fic for "Something To Be," which will focus on Mike.

And, you know, review if you want. If you've got any pointers on how to beef up my writing, I'd appreciate it.