That's better. :)

I'm proud of you. Do you know why? Yes, your grammar, punctuation and storytelling skills still suck, but you're doing a hell of a lot better than usual. I'm just trying to figure out if its on purpose. At least this time I don't feel compelled to kill something and log into your account and attempt to rewrite it for you. For that, bravo. Oh, answer your damn phone!

..... o.0

It's not finish? *waves hand for you to finish up* Hun, please update your chapter when you're done, okay? #_#

~Disturbed Angel

why updating an unfinished chapter?

I think you need a beta and you need to work out your summary. You need to know how to use commas and periods... and when using the elipsies (the triple dots (...)) you only need one of them (one set of three periods) to get your point across, no more, no less. And please, please capitalize things! Capitalization makes for good things.

This was very rushed and I feel as if you didn't really think it through before you actually wrote it. You don't explain why Chester and Mike are married, not even a hint before you hit us with it. Also, the fact that Mike could just forgive Chester for cheating on him with Rob really doesn't make sense... would you forgive your husband/significant other just cause they kissed you and said some nice words if they fucked someone else behind your back?

Get yourself a beta and work out your story. It will do you a world of good.

hey. It's okay. I like it. Erm, but a little work on your grammar/spelling and etc. Okay? :) update soon though.

~Naomi (D.A.)

I can barely read the summary without losing several points in my IQ, there's no way I'd try and attempt to read the story. You might want to consider getting a beta.

this is ok despite spelling/punctuation etc

summary needs working on

Good luck with future fics, i shall continue to read this one as I enjoyed it :)

Your summary suck, and there could be more to this story but I'm glued. You just need to sort out the summary.